Discussion Ego boost

[GoForDeath]

Personally I don't like compliments, but if you could just be free to express your own accomplishments, regardless of when they happened.. what are your accomplishments?

I am really good at graphics programming and was able to derive multiple formulas and even some dumb algorithms. I definitely had the potential and I do believe that I'm smart.. at least smarter than when I was a kid.

 

[bluem00n]

Good for you GoForDeath ... graphics programming requires serious levels of competency!

The notion that all you have to do is persist at something, even in the face of adversity, to ultimately be successful is yet another of life's delusions. After all, every athlete in the Olympics trained just as hard as the medallists, yet most of them go home as nothing more than forgotten also-rans.

Likewise, for every band that achieves success, there are thousands of others that invested just at much time, energy, and resources learning how to play an instrument, yet sink without trace ... some of my favourite music is by such obscure artists.

In my own case ... as of last month, I'd spent ten years creating a very easy-to-use music reviews website, one that gets a steady flow of visitors, yet in that entire ten years hasn't seen even a solitary person sign-up to post an album review. Doh!

Reality = one winner (rarely the most capable or worthy, just the first, or luckiest) ... everyone else is a loser. Reality is tragic really.

 

[jodes2]

I used to program and do electronics but my grey matter has deteriorated somewhat. I don't know if I'll ever be able to get into it again. I was never brilliant though, but I got along ok

 

[GoForDeath]

Good for you GoForDeath ... graphics programming requires serious levels of competency!

The notion that all you have to do is persist at something, even in the face of adversity, to ultimately be successful is yet another of life's delusions. After all, every athlete in the Olympics trained just as hard as the medallists, yet most of them go home as nothing more than forgotten also-rans.

Likewise, for every band that achieves success, there are thousands of others that invested just at much time, energy, and resources learning how to play an instrument, yet sink without trace ... some of my favourite music is by such obscure artists.

In my own case ... as of last month, I'd spent ten years creating a very easy-to-use music reviews website, one that gets a steady flow of visitors, yet in that entire ten years hasn't seen even a solitary person sign-up to post an album review. Doh!

Reality = one winner (rarely the most capable or worthy, just the first, or luckiest) ... everyone else is a loser. Reality is tragic really.

You're right, completely! I don't know, I can't really expect societal recognition of greatness as I'm simply not great and I know that I'll be forgotten. But all I want is to live a quiet life, achieve my own personal goals and thrive in my own work place.

However, I believe that at a certain point you need to stop looking at the success of others and acknowledge your own personal strives, because it's important to continue improving as a person.

That's awesome btw, the website, I hope you achieve success in that!

I used to program and do electronics but my grey matter has deteriorated somewhat. I don't know if I'll ever be able to get into it again. I was never brilliant though, but I got along ok

It doesn't matter if you're brilliant, as long as you managed to do something and that's awesome, I really hope that you manage to go back to it!

 

[Hollowillow]

Personally I don't like compliments, but if you could just be free to express your own accomplishments, regardless of when they happened.. what are your accomplishments?

I am really good at graphics programming and was able to derive multiple formulas and even some dumb algorithms. I definitely had the potential and I do believe that I'm smart.. at least smarter than when I was a kid.

Everyone here sound super smart it's a shame to lose the best.

I drew comics and they were liked here! *Throw confettis*

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/suicide-memes.6466/page-61

 

[GoForDeath]

Everyone here sound super smart it's a shame to lose the best.

I drew comics and they were liked here! *Throw confettis*

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/suicide-memes.6466/page-61

Awesome man, I used to love comics. I agree, there are a lot of smart people here who have lost their will to live, it's really sad to see.. But you know I'm the same.. about to lose the only job I truly liked, as a programmer.

 

[thebunny]

i'm an aspiring graphic designer & illustrator (currently studying rn). creating art and designing is just something I've been really good at since i was a teen even though most of the time, my mental health gets the better of me. i've actually been recently featured in a magazine! i'm also a consistent scholar in my university.

such a shame that the brightest people are often the most damaged ones.

 

[hamvil]

Personally I don't like compliments, but if you could just be free to express your own accomplishments, regardless of when they happened.. what are your accomplishments?

I am really good at graphics programming and was able to derive multiple formulas and even some dumb algorithms. I definitely had the potential and I do believe that I'm smart.. at least smarter than when I was a kid.

I was good in STEM, very creative and managed to progress quite a lot with my career. I miss those times quite a lot. Now I realise that my mind is not flexible like it was in the past, I feel unable to generate new ideas or when I get a little idea I feel unable to actually make it real. My good days are in the past. Feel so down.

 

[bluem00n]

Yeah, I'm the same - as you say, I just wanted to "live a quiet life, achieve my own personal goals and thrive in my own work place" - basically just mind my own business and live within my 'ecological niche'.

The tough part is accepting that when your ecosystem / egosystem breaks down (as is increasingly the case nowadays), then your ecological niche will inevitably disintegrate along with it - it's just the way of things, and there's nothing to be done about it. After all, when a forest burns down then everything dependent on it for its well-being perishes along with it.

Personally, I'm irrevocably pissed off that my ecosystem has likewise collapsed yet I'm still here anyway - compelled to live in a very different set of circumtances from those my accomplishments are intended for. And that's how I ended looking for a way out here at SS, as there's simply no point at all being a square peg in a round hole, as that's always going to end badly.

Perhaps in some alternate reality our accomplishments in this reality will indeed count for something - I'd actually be quite happy to spend the rest of eternity listening to music and running my website (and playing with my currently-deceased puddy-tat!) ...

 

[GoForDeath]

T an aspiring graphic designer & illustrator (currently studying rn). creating art and designing is just something I've been really good at since i was a teen even though most of the time, my mental health gets the better of me. i've actually been recently featured in a magazine! i'm also a consistent scholar in my university.

such a shame that the brightest people are often the most damaged ones.

That's awesome honestly, especially getting featured in a magazine.

True, it's sad to see so many bright people here having to deal with so many issues. Especially those who have lost their ability to do their passion, it's heartbreaking..

I was good in STEM, very creative and managed to progress quite a lot with my career. I miss those times quite a lot. Now I realise that my mind is not flexible like it was in the past, I feel unable to generate new ideas or when I get a little idea I feel unable to actually make it real. My good days are in the past. Feel so down.

That's sad to hear.. personally I've been feeling similar with my job, I've just been deteriorating and now I'm about to lose what I love.. I'm arguably smarter than before, but at the same time I feel like I'm just going to live my entire life being sabotaged mentally, losing everything.. what's the point in continuing?

Yeah, I'm the same - as you say, I just wanted to "live a quiet life, achieve my own personal goals and thrive in my own work place" - basically just mind my own business and live within my 'ecological niche'.

The tough part is accepting that when your ecosystem / egosystem breaks down (as is increasingly the case nowadays), then your ecological niche will inevitably disintegrate along with it - it's just the way of things, and there's nothing to be done about it. After all, when a forest burns down then everything dependent on it for its well-being perishes along with it.

Personally, I'm irrevocably pissed off that my ecosystem has likewise collapsed yet I'm still here anyway - compelled to live in a very different set of circumtances from those my accomplishments are intended for. And that's how I ended looking for a way out here at SS, as there's simply no point at all being a square peg in a round hole, as that's always going to end badly.

Perhaps in some alternate reality our accomplishments in this reality will indeed count for something - I'd actually be quite happy to spend the rest of eternity listening to music and running my website (and playing with my currently-deceased puddy-tat!) ...

I feel the exact same way, I feel like the mental sabotaging of my ability to perform well is just going to continue until I'm out on the street.. I've arguably achieved a lot and.. I'd like to think that I had the potential, which honestly doesn't make me feel better.. Because it feels like I'm just complaining without doing anything, but on the other side I can just see this pattern of failure, regardless of my abilities. So I am strung between the hopelessness and unwillingness to let it end this way. And sadly the hopelessness is seeping through the cracks and becoming major.

 

[DeadManLiving]

The folks on this form are a different breed. I'm sensing a majority of users are gifted and come with incredible talent. Which is both surprising but unfortunate, I did not expect such a clinical discussion devoid of bias while unfortunate that such talent may escape us.


I am in a STEM field myself, but after my traumatic brain injury I haven't been able to program since 2019.

I believe this is the result of the extraordinary objective reasoning ability required to understand suicide empirically. After so many physics and calculus courses you kind of get this newfound sense for truly pure objective reasoning, like a separation of church and state in matters of fact from subjective feelings.

Ultimately life is a minefield and the phantom pot of gold at the end of the mine field rainbow is not worth the economics to make sense worth crossing in view of the cost benefit risk. At least from a Game Theory perspective, living a life after you were dealt with a shitty hand is a suboptimal position with be odds so stacked against you it just not worthwhile by any stretch of mathematical, economic or rational thought.

 

[GoForDeath]

The folks on this form are a different breed. I'm sensing a majority of users are gifted and come with incredible talent. Which is both surprising but unfortunate, I did not expect such a clinical discussion devoid of bias while unfortunate that such talent may escape us.


I am in a STEM field myself, but after my traumatic brain injury I haven't been able to program since 2019.

I believe this is the result of the extraordinary objective reasoning ability required to understand suicide empirically. After so many physics and calculus courses you kind of get this newfound sense for truly pure objective reasoning, like a separation of church and state in matters of fact from subjective feelings.

Ultimately life is a minefield and the phantom pot of gold at the end of the mine field rainbow is not worth the economics to make sense worth crossing in view of the cost benefit risk. At least from a Game Theory perspective, living a life after you were dealt with a shitty hand is a suboptimal position with be odds so stacked against you it just not worthwhile by any stretch of mathematical, economic or rational thought.

Really well put, I agree completely, it's really sad to see so many intelligent and wonderful people decide that life is no longer worth living. However reading the posts from other people, I can understand why and I can even relate.. there is no inherent meaning behind life, it's just what we make of it and if we see no meaning to continue living it, then ctb is completely rational.

 

[DeadManLiving]

Really well put, I agree completely, it's really sad to see so many intelligent and wonderful people decide that life is no longer worth living. However reading the posts from other people, I can understand why and I can even relate.. there is no inherent meaning behind life, it's just what we make of it and if we see no meaning to continue living it, then ctb is completely rational.

Yeah life is like the casino fallacy. Just keep living, keep playing and stay in the game - eventually you'll hit that jackpot, they say.

Everybody likes to think in terms of jackpots. You always hear about the successes, but the failures are filed away; the "File Drawer" effect. It'll get better doesn't work that way if you do the math. The more you keep playing the more you keep bleeding a 3% house edge. The few will be heralded as jackpot poster kids, the rest will end up worse off in the long run no matter whatever perceived temporarily improvement. Improvements and wins are only relative, in the grand scheme of things if you're not content at least over 50% of the time, a life of 80% pain for 20% gain (both of equal magnitude) it's not rational to play. It's like playing at a clandestine lemonade stand Casino where I flip a coin where the house Edge is 60%. For every win on $100 wager you get your hundred bucks back plus $40 winnings, but for every loss you lose your complete $100 wager. If this was a math problem you would win by not playing as it would be completely irrational. But when it comes to blindsided pro-life dichotomy, they say you should keep playing! Apparently it's not irrational to play a game that's rigged against you. As long as you're alive to buy the lemonade and hemorrhage, stay alive and in the game, they say.

Hypocrisy with the suicide is irrational fallacy. But I can't blame academia, there would definitely be a lot of upheaval and heat if suicide were hailed rational decision making in the literature as it would be tantamount to saying methamphetamine is good for kids (even though it actually may be, according to FDA ADHD approved drug Desoxyn© (Methamphetamine)). I think most people in philosophy, science, and higher order thinking domains realize suicide is perfectly rational, but declaring so would not be without lash out or recall.

 

[GoForDeath]

Yeah life is like the casino fallacy. Just keep living, keep playing and stay in the game - eventually you'll hit that jackpot, they say.

Everybody likes to think in terms of jackpots. You always hear about the successes, but the failures are filed away; the "File Drawer" effect. It'll get better doesn't work that way if you do the math. The more you keep playing the more you keep bleeding a 3% house edge. The few will be heralded as jackpot poster kids, the rest will end up worse off in the long run no matter whatever perceived temporarily improvement. Improvements and wins are only relative, in the grand scheme of things if you're not content at least over 50% of the time, a life of 80% pain for 20% gain (both of equal magnitude) it's not rational to play. It's like playing at a clandestine lemonade stand Casino where I flip a coin where the house Edge is 60%. For every win on $100 wager you get your hundred bucks back plus $40 winnings, but for every loss you lose your complete $100 wager. If this was a math problem you would win by not playing as it would be completely irrational. But when it comes to blindsided pro-life dichotomy, they say you should keep playing! Apparently it's not irrational to play a game that's rigged against you. As long as you're alive to buy the lemonade and hemorrhage, stay alive and in the game, they say.

Hypocrisy with the suicide is irrational fallacy. But I can't blame academia, there would definitely be a lot of upheaval and heat if suicide were hailed rational decision making in the literature as it would be tantamount to saying methamphetamine is good for kids (even though it actually may be, according to FDA ADHD approved drug Desoxyn© (Methamphetamine)). I think most people in philosophy, science, and higher order thinking domains realize suicide is perfectly rational, but declaring so would not be without lash out or recall.

It's completely irrational to expect everyone to want to live, like you said life is filled with a few successful people and a lot of failures.. However I don't agree that everything is by chance, I've found that persistence is fundamental, when it comes to achieving success. It is not guaranteed, but it increases your odds, tho of course you need to be smart about it.

I've lost that persistence and I'm having issues working, which is brutal considering I love my job. It's therefore that I've been feeling hopelessness..

 

[FuneralCry]

I've never really been good at anything. Being alive has never particularly interested me, as well, to me existence is just an unnecessary burden that there was never a need for in the first place. The only thing that I want to accomplish is ctb. I've never seen life as being worth living at all, even if someone was to accomplish something in life it's all for the sake of it and will eventually be forgotten about.

 

[GoForDeath]

I've never really been good at anything. Being alive has never particularly interested me, as well, to me existence is just an unnecessary burden that there was never a need for in the first place. The only thing that I want to accomplish is ctb. I've never seen life as being worth living at all, even if someone was to accomplish something in life it's all for the sake of it and will eventually be forgotten about.

Everyone will be forgotten, because at some point out species will reach the end of our existence.. so It doesn't matter. What's important is that you grow as a person and develop, at least that's what I think. Of course you decide what you want to do with your life, even if it is to end it, I just wish ctb was easier..