Effective suicide method: dying without pain

[ALN98]

Hi to you who are reading me.

So, I wish you could shed some light on a suicidal method that is 100% effective to work and at the same time guarantee me a painless death.

Okay, this is a very unusual request to make normally. But, I will explain my case. Well, basically I'm a 23 year old who for at least three years has been experiencing a progressive and overwhelming depression, which became truly monstrous after I had some (sometimes repetitive) experiences involving violence that, as you might imagine, were truly destructive to me. To the point that my psychiatrist suspects I have developed the famous Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as a comorbidity, and even considers changing my diagnosis [which is now Major Depressive Disorder with mixed anxiety].

Anyway. Because of this I have been living a very deep sadness, I don't feel pleasure in anything in my life, and for the simplest things I experience and also experience the worst of situations. Are there people who care about me? They exist. But, they don't have the power to prevent me from suffering because of this, the consequences of other problems in my life, and personally I came to the conclusion that everyone would be better off if I were dead. Because, living like this would only be a progressive disappointment, and of course, even if I try a lot, I always end up in suicidal crises. Of wanting and, at times, trying.

I already have a history of nearly twenty suicide attempts... Lol, I'm really unlucky. I was hospitalized once because of one of them, in the emergency room, and I had to go through a painful stomach cleaning procedure. So I'm tired of trying things that don't work out, or allow me to give up along the way. Which makes me come here to ask for advice from people who, perhaps, deliberated on this matter as much or even more than I did. To advise me... What to do to kill me without pain?

I've been thinking about cutting the veins and arteries in my neck with a knife. I even tried once, but I only got a scar and it bled a lot. Is there a correct way to guarantee a suicide this way? :/

 

[sweetheart]

If there was an easily accessible, completely painless method, guaranteed to work 100% of the time a lot of us wouldn't be here I suspect. I'm sorry, I relate to your circumstances. I wouldn't advice trying to cut yourself, it isn't reliable and you are most likely to end up having to get stitches. Save yourself an unnecessary trip to the emergency room. Not trying to moralize, I have made the same mistake many times and it never works out how you think.

 

[lifecouldbedream]

I found a method for myself that is supposedly effective and painless. I documented my experience with it in this post.

 

[Risperdead]

Hello ALN98, first of all a warm very welcome here. your situation of severe depression and the conclusion everyone would be better off if dead , with a suicide attempt record above twenty also applies to me and is very understandable.
with the so called kusch method it is doable to ctb free of pain and peaceful.
the user needs a 100 ml bottle of metoclopramid, 200 pills a 200 mg of hydroxychloroquine (20g) and at least 500 mg of diazepam ( 1000 mg recommended ). I tried the method on 15th September 2020 and sadly failed because i took mistakenly half the antiemetics needed as it is dosed with a syringe.

 

[ALN98]

If there was an easily accessible, completely painless method, guaranteed to work 100% of the time a lot of us wouldn't be here I suspect. I'm sorry, I relate to your circumstances. I wouldn't advice trying to cut yourself, it isn't reliable and you are most likely to end up having to get stitches. Save yourself an unnecessary trip to the emergency room. Not trying to moralize, I have made the same mistake many times and it never works out how you think.

It's true what you said, I hadn't stopped to think from this angle. I think that I am romanticizing this quest for the perfect suicide a little...

No, I didn't think you than was a moralist. By the way, thank you for giving me this advice from your experience, because I was actually considering doing this. I even tried something similar once, by the way, but I don't think I cut myself deep enough.

I feel, by the way, that you too have had an experience of this kind. I imagine, at least, that it was traumatizing for you in the same way that one of my attempts that required hospitalization was for me, in my case, due to an overdose of medication.

But, in any case, grateful for your comment!

I found a method for myself that is supposedly effective and painless. I documented my experience with it in this post.

I found the method interesting, with ingredients that are easy to find in any supermarket. I just think it's a little uncomfortable, but I'm just going to have to stay there for a few minutes, hahaha.

Thanks for the idea, man!

 

[My_name_is_Luka]

Hi @Risperdead
I'm also in Deutschland. I suppose that those medications can be obtained only with a prescription. Can I write you in private?

 

[ALN98]

Hello ALN98, first of all a warm very welcome here. your situation of severe depression and the conclusion everyone would be better off if dead , with a suicide attempt record above twenty also applies to me and is very understandable.
with the so called kusch method it is doable to ctb free of pain and peaceful.
the user needs a 100 ml bottle of metoclopramid, 200 pills a 200 mg of hydroxychloroquine (20g) and at least 500 mg of diazepam ( 1000 mg recommended ). I tried the method on 15th September 2020 and sadly failed because i took mistakenly half the antiemetics needed as it is dosed with a syringe.
View attachment 77078

Ahhh, thanks so much for saying that, Risperdead! And, I'm glad you understand my situation! Though, on the other hand, I imagine that's not so good either. Because these experiences, deep down, are not desirable for anyone, .

I found the indicated method interesting, it's just not very easy here where I live to get so many doses of hydroxychloroquine at once, but, that doesn't mean I don't can try too.

But anyway, thanks for the idea! :D

 

[sweetheart]

I feel, by the way, that you too have had an experience of this kind. I imagine, at least, that it was traumatizing for you in the same way that one of my attempts that required hospitalization was for me, in my case, due to an overdose of medication.

I have had many bad experiences, so I definitely relate to that! I've had many failed attempts. Last year I also attempted to overdose on medication and it was a really horrible experience to go through. I didn't want to go to the hospital because I didn't want to get locked up, so I toughed it out at home. I was lost to this world for a day or two and didn't feel normal for a long time afterwards. Really gross, don't try to overdose on antidepressants.

I have had to go to the ER a bunch for self-harm/stupid little attempts at suicide by cutting. I've basically learned by now that it doesn't work I guess. I really regret having so many scars. I still want to die, but I don't want to do anything stupid. I wanna make sure I get it right, you know?

 

[ALN98]

I have had many bad experiences, so I definitely relate to that! I've had many failed attempts. Last year I also attempted to overdose on medication and it was a really horrible experience to go through. I didn't want to go to the hospital because I didn't want to get locked up, so I toughed it out at home. I was lost to this world for a day or two and didn't feel normal for a long time afterwards. Really gross, don't try to overdose on antidepressants.

I have had to go to the ER a bunch for self-harm/stupid little attempts at suicide by cutting. I've basically learned by now that it doesn't work I guess. I really regret having so many scars. I still want to die, but I don't want to do anything stupid. I wanna make sure I get it right, you know?

It may sound crazy, or maybe it is, but I can understand pretty well what you're talking about. Most of my suicide attempts occurred through overdose of medications, of the most varied types, since I'm the one who administers them here at home, prescribed by my own psychiatrist.

One of my attempts, in January of this year, was the overuse of sertraline - an antidepressant. And so. For those who were used to abusing anxiolytics... Honestly, this was one of the most horrible experiences of my life. I felt restless like I've never felt before, so much so that I couldn't even sleep. My head was agitated, it felt like a nuclear warhead had exploded inside my body, I was sweating and squirming all night. To be honest, it was like I had got a typical LSD "bad trip".

This time I didn't go to the hospital either. But I stayed destroyed all day. And when I "recovered," I felt deeply sad that I "didn't go." That's when I learned that only anxiolytics had the power to induce coma and death. Or not, because a month later I was there again abusing sertraline, adding lithium [which the psychiatrist prescribed me to treat my suicidal ideation].

These were such bad experiences that today I don't feel comfortable using my medication. So then. I can say perfectly well that I understand you. It's that feeling that you've already suffered so much trying to get rid of your suffering, that if suicide really happens, it really has to happen. No more delays, no more suspense. At least, that's the dilemma I find myself in today.

 

[sorryforthat]

ctb with CO cylinder can be so fast and painless. Dr kevorkian euthanised his patients with this method. you can lose your consciousness very fast. but you should study more about it because if you fail you have brain damage and lung and heart problems.

 

[sweetheart]

It may sound crazy, or maybe it is, but I can understand pretty well what you're talking about. Most of my suicide attempts occurred through overdose of medications, of the most varied types, since I'm the one who administers them here at home, prescribed by my own psychiatrist.

One of my attempts, in January of this year, was the overuse of sertraline - an antidepressant. And so. For those who were used to abusing anxiolytics... Honestly, this was one of the most horrible experiences of my life. I felt restless like I've never felt before, so much so that I couldn't even sleep. My head was agitated, it felt like a nuclear warhead had exploded inside my body, I was sweating and squirming all night. To be honest, it was like I had got a typical LSD "bad trip".

This time I didn't go to the hospital either. But I stayed destroyed all day. And when I "recovered," I felt deeply sad that I "didn't go." That's when I learned that only anxiolytics had the power to induce coma and death. Or not, because a month later I was there again abusing sertraline, adding lithium [which the psychiatrist prescribed me to treat my suicidal ideation].

These were such bad experiences that today I don't feel comfortable using my medication. So then. I can say perfectly well that I understand you. It's that feeling that you've already suffered so much trying to get rid of your suffering, that if suicide really happens, it really has to happen. No more delays, no more suspense. At least, that's the dilemma I find myself in today.

I am really sorry you had to go through that, that sounds absolutely awful. Just shows you that there should be a way to safely and painlessly die available to people who truly want and need it. People who want to die try to find a way anyway, usually going through horribly unpleasant failed attempts like what you describe here. This world is sick :(

 

[toforigivelife]

I'm sorry that at only 23 years of age that it has come to this for you. I truly am.

You can try the local illegal drug trade or the online dark markets and buy a significant amount of some seriously powerful drugs like fentanyl or heroin, short or inject them (snorting might be easier) and wash them down with some strong alcohol like vodka and give yourself 24 hours of privacy. A plastic bag over your head before you face out might be helpful.

I don't want you to end your life but only you know how dire your situation, what you struggle with and only you can judge your quality of life.

The above advice is one scenario.

I wish you the best in whatever decision you come to my friend.

 

[ALN98]

ctb with CO cylinder can be so fast and painless. Dr kevorkian euthanised his patients with this method. you can lose your consciousness very fast. but you should study more about it because if you fail you have brain damage and lung and heart problems.

Really, this is a good idea! I had read once that carbon dioxide (CO²), if inhaled directly, could be fatal and lead to coma and death. So much so that it was once a good method of suicide for owners of certain old cars, but that new ones have now been designed in a way that prevents this.

I even had the idea once of using cooking gas, in this case, locking myself in my house with the windows closed and turning on the oven without lighting, to let all the gas out. But as my neighbor is a veteran smoker, and our wall is the only thing that divides us. Well, I thought that wouldn't be a good idea, hahaha.

I will research more about how I can get a cylinder. Anyway, thanks for the idea!

I am really sorry you had to go through that, that sounds absolutely awful. Just shows you that there should be a way to safely and painlessly die available to people who truly want and need it. People who want to die try to find a way anyway, usually going through horribly unpleasant failed attempts like what you describe here. This world is sick :(

I agree with you. When I was hospitalized because of my attempt, my doctor came to discharge me and lectured me: "I'm going to take you to the cancer patients' ward, so you can learn to value your life". I felt insulted, because it maked it sound like I tried to commit suicide because "I had nothing else to do." Then I keep thinking. Cancer is a malignant tumor, something physical, which you can see on exams. And, therefore, it is valued as a disabling disease that causes suffering. Depression, on the other hand, for being psychic, is seen in a way surrounded by discredit. As if it were a drama, a lack of optimism.

I wish positive thoughts could get me out of bed while I'm in crisis, or stop crying because I'm alive. Nobody commits suicide because they want to kill themselves, but because they can no longer bear the suffering they suffer, and it is ridiculous to think that this suffering is not always validated. Euthanasia would be an alternative to ended a suffering that could no longer be resolved in other ways, applied to severe and chronic depression. But when are they going to look at her with these understanding and empathetic eyes? In a world that, unfortunately, is more used to encouraging narcissism and competitiveness among people, ignoring the respect?

In fact, this world is sick...

I'm sorry that at only 23 years of age that it has come to this for you. I truly am.

You can try the local illegal drug trade or the online dark markets and buy a significant amount of some seriously powerful drugs like fentanyl or heroin, short or inject them (snorting might be easier) and wash them down with some strong alcohol like vodka and give yourself 24 hours of privacy. A plastic bag over your head before you face out might be helpful.

I don't want you to end your life but only you know how dire your situation, what you struggle with and only you can judge your quality of life.

The above advice is one scenario.

I wish you the best in whatever decision you come to my friend.

Yeah, it's horrible to think that my depression and the issues surrounding it are wiping out my youth. But, do what. Not all lives were born to be happy, :/

I liked your idea, although I don't know one dealer who sell these types of drugs here in my region. But, I will seek to inform myself more about it. If you know how to abuse properly, a single dose can be fatal.

Personally admitting, I don't want to either. But, I've been through so much hard, and I'm facing so many problems that were caused and also sustain the my depression that... I end up preferring to die to relieve myself. But, thanks for the advice and concern! ^^