Venting Eating Disorder

[mentalcheese]

My eating disorder is ruining my life. I've struggled with it for so long but rn im at my hw. I feel awful comparing myself to my own friends. All i think about is food and cals. I don't go out anymore because i'm so uncomfortable in my own body. I started a new depression medication (Wellbutrin) and it was supposed to help suppress my appetite but if anything it's done the complete opposite. I've gained. I just hope to be somewhat satisfied with my body when I finally decide to ctb. Does anyone have any tips or how they stopped binging?

(also i'm sorry if there is already an active thread abt this, I tried looking around but couldn't find any)

 

[pole]

i'm sorry to hear about your experiences with ED.

i have had a difficult time as well over the last three years. i have been binging badly and do not ever get that "full" feeling. i will keep eating and eating and eating until i'm about to vomit or i feel sick. but, it feels so good and fills this gaping hole inside of me when i'm down.

a few months ago was when i decided to try my best and fight my ED. i took Vyvanse (prescribed to treat ED) and it killed my appetite. at the same time, i felt like a zombie and did not like how it messed up my mood and emotions. so i stopped taking it.

since then, i've realized that i have to fight my urges head on. i need to try my best to instil discipline and curb these urges.

what has worked for me is OMAD. fasting for 22-23 hours per day and having a 1-2 hour eating window. it's the only thing that has helped me stay disciplined and focused and curbed my binging habits. dark coffee also helps me a lot when i'm fasting and it kills my hunger when i feel like i'm struggling.

here and there, like 1-2 times a month, i will have cheat days and give in, which i think is fine. i'm only human. but, i'm happy that i'm getting better at curbing my binge eating habits and fighting the urges. i also hated the way i looked and set a goal to lose weight, and have lost 12 pounds so far over the last few months since OMAD without exercising. i'll eat tons of fruit, nuts, take a protein shake, anything fulling during my window and then getting right back to my next fast.

at the end of the day, meds will only do so much. it will come down to discipline and being able to fight that urge mentally. i get where you're coming from, it's so difficult and it's such a shitty feeling. i have had body image issues since i was 12 years old and it's gotten so much worse over the last few years.

idk if any of this will help, but i hope it sparks some ideas for you. that's what is working for me right now. i haven't won yet, but i've made strides and i'm a lot better now with my eating habits.

all the best.

 

[mentalcheese]

i'm sorry to hear about your experiences with ED.

i have had a difficult time as well over the last three years. i have been binging badly and do not ever get that "full" feeling. i will keep eating and eating and eating until i'm about to vomit or i feel sick. but, it feels so good and fills this gaping hole inside of me when i'm down.

a few months ago was when i decided to try my best and fight my ED. i took Vyvanse (prescribed to treat ED) and it killed my appetite. at the same time, i felt like a zombie and did not like how it messed up my mood and emotions. so i stopped taking it.

since then, i've realized that i have to fight my urges head on. i need to try my best to instil discipline and curb these urges.

what has worked for me is OMAD. fasting for 22-23 hours per day and having a 1-2 hour eating window. it's the only thing that has helped me stay disciplined and focused and curbed my binging habits. dark coffee also helps me a lot when i'm fasting and it kills my hunger when i feel like i'm struggling.

here and there, like 1-2 times a month, i will have cheat days and give in, which i think is fine. i'm only human. but, i'm happy that i'm getting better at curbing my binge eating habits and fighting the urges. i also hated the way i looked and set a goal to lose weight, and have lost 12 pounds so far over the last few months since OMAD without exercising. i'll eat tons of fruit, nuts, take a protein shake, anything fulling during my window and then getting right back to my next fast.

at the end of the day, meds will only do so much. it will come down to discipline and being able to fight that urge mentally. i get where you're coming from, it's so difficult and it's such a shitty feeling. i have had body image issues since i was 12 years old and it's gotten so much worse over the last few years.

idk if any of this will help, but i hope it sparks some ideas for you. that's what is working for me right now. i haven't won yet, but i've made strides and i'm a lot better now with my eating habits.

all the best.

I really appreciate your response. I also have the feeling of never being full no matter how much I eat. This is my 2nd time trying to put off large amounts of weight so it's much harder. my metabolism is fucked. I will try to do OMAD again, it's worth a shot! I'll also try to stomach dark coffee even tho i hate it lol but you are right, it's a mental battle more than anything…ty for your tips, congratulations on your weight loss I hope it gets easier for you

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

I struggled with severe ED as a teen. Your body is starved of nutrients that's why it forces you to binge.
You need to heal first. Eat until you are satisfied. But eat healthy.
If you eat things like lean meats and vegetables it shouldn't make you gain much weight but it should nourish your body. After a while the binge cravings should stop.
If I could give an advice to my younger self I would say forget about your looks and focus on yourself. Focus on what career you want to have.

 

[mentalcheese]

I struggled with severe ED as a teen. Your body is starved of nutrients that's why it forces you to binge.
You need to heal first. Eat until you are satisfied. But eat healthy.
If you eat things like lean meats and vegetables it shouldn't make you gain much weight but it should nourish your body. After a while the binge cravings should stop.
If I could give an advice to my younger self I would say forget about your looks and focus on yourself. Focus on what career you want to have.

Yeah, I will try to eat cleaner instead of wasting my cals on non filling calorie dense foods, i rlly appreciate your advice…i wish i could stop caring abt my looks but it's impossible for me, i enjoy it in a sick way seeing the scale go down and feel a bit happier

 

[ikadasui]

I suffered from bulimia and maybe still do. I don't binge&purge anymore and instead just walk a ton. I'd strongly suggest you really look into yourself because you're going to physically destroy your teeth along with other problems. I did it because I wanted to make myself appealing to people and guess what? Didn't matter when I was fat or now that I'm thin. Complete waste of time and sanity. I'd at least avoid sugars and sweets as that crap Is just empty calories and over time work from there.

 

[winamp]

(I am unsure if this will be helpful to you since I struggle with binge eating while not being focused on weight loss currently)

what's helped me so far is drinking tea or coffee and liquids/beverages in general when I feel the urge to binge especially before, after, or between meals
(I tend to binge eat sugary things and I have found that beverages satisfies those cravings) especially water

I also find pre-portioned foods to be helpful as well for example I bought a box of oatmeal and it has packets in it for each flavour equal to one serving so I just make one and move on with my day until I get another hunger signal

waiting to eat until I actually feel hungry has been helpful as well

I also keep a digital food diary to help myself know what times I typically get hungry and how to differentiate between a binge and normal eating habits because I was at a point where I started seeing normal healthy eating habits as binges

I also make sure to have a grocery list when I plan on going shopping so then I won't get distracted about buying food to hoard for a potential binge

also if there is a particular food I would like to binge eat or would send me into a binge I do tasks during the day to keep myself busy or before I know I will be hungry again (mostly just house work which involves a lot of walking)

so then I can reward myself with one serving of whatever the food or snack or junk is

and video games have been very helpful as well to stop wanting to eat (when not hungry) everytime there is something to watch

 

[mentalcheese]

I suffered from bulimia and maybe still do. I don't binge&purge anymore and instead just walk a ton. I'd strongly suggest you really look into yourself because you're going to physically destroy your teeth along with other problems. I did it because I wanted to make myself appealing to people and guess what? Didn't matter when I was fat or now that I'm thin. Complete waste of time and sanity. I'd at least avoid sugars and sweets as that crap Is just empty calories and over time work from there.

yeah i can't bring myself to purge properly. although i picked up the new habit of chewing and spitting (disgusting ik) and i stopped for now because i'm scared of the damage it will do to my teeth as well, ty for your advice I am working on planning a cleaner diet, I hope things get better for you though

(I am unsure if this will be helpful to you since I struggle with binge eating while not being focused on weight loss currently)

what's helped me so far is drinking tea or coffee and liquids/beverages in general when I feel the urge to binge especially before, after, or between meals
(I tend to binge eat sugary things and I have found that beverages satisfies those cravings) especially water

I also find pre-portioned foods to be helpful as well for example I bought a box of oatmeal and it has packets in it for each flavour equal to one serving so I just make one and move on with my day until I get another hunger signal

waiting to eat until I actually feel hungry has been helpful as well

I also keep a digital food diary to help myself know what times I typically get hungry and how to differentiate between a binge and normal eating habits because I was at a point where I started seeing normal healthy eating habits as binges

I also make sure to have a grocery list when I plan on going shopping so then I won't get distracted about buying food to hoard for a potential binge

also if there is a particular food I would like to binge eat or would send me into a binge I do tasks during the day to keep myself busy or before I know I will be hungry again (mostly just house work which involves a lot of walking)

so then I can reward myself with one serving of whatever the food or snack or junk is

and video games have been very helpful as well to stop wanting to eat (when not hungry) everytime there is something to watch

ty for your reply this is really helpful, what kind of tea do you drink if you don't mind sharing?

 

[winamp]

yeah i can't bring myself to purge properly. although i picked up the new habit of chewing and spitting (disgusting ik) and i stopped for now because i'm scared of the damage it will do to my teeth as well, ty for your advice I am working on planning a cleaner diet, I hope things get better for you though

ty for your reply this is really helpful, what kind of tea do you drink if you don't mind sharing?

Green, Black, English Rose (Black Tea blended with roses), Spiced Chai

and hopefully soon Earl Grey but it was sold out at the store unfortunately and various other teas

I saw one at the store that is something along the lines of spiced orange or something similar

I really love teas with spices in them and fruit teas as well (I am open to trying any and all types of tea so then I can become a bit of a tea connessuir (I forgot how the word is spelled) as a hobby)

edit: also I assume some of them have caffeine except for the ones who explicitly say they don't have caffeine

but I enjoy both because of the placebo effect of not knowing wether it has caffeine or not, also it has been really helpful for my nausea and digestive issues from stress and things relating to over eating or recovering from a binge

besides always making sure to have a gallon of water available (not to down it in one sitting out of guilt but to stay hydrated and also because if I drink lots of water the day after a binge it makes me feel like I can prevent the bad side effects of the binge and feel clean before trying to not binge again)

 

[KoreaJobHuntFailure]

I once dated with a girl with eating disorder. At first, she seemed to manage her food with salad, but I noticed that when I go out, she binged eating whole rice in the rice cooker.
What I and she agreed to do was that I managed money or card so that she don't have money for buying food. Also she started eating bananas and oat meal which can easily give a feeling of fullness with low cal. It went quite well until we broke up, so maybe you can try that?

 

[mentalcheese]

I once dated with a girl with eating disorder. At first, she seemed to manage her food with salad, but I noticed that when I go out, she binged eating whole rice in the rice cooker.
What I and she agreed to do was that I managed money or card so that she don't have money for buying food. Also she started eating bananas and oat meal which can easily give a feeling of fullness with low cal. It went quite well until we broke up, so maybe you can try that?

thank you I will

 

[KillMeh]

I love to give advice I dont take.
I think if I restricted myself less when it comes to my feelings, my ed would improve. And maybe not instantly, but I think this the only way. I dont believe one can diet themselves out of a BED (if that's even what you have), my mind is like stop fucking killing me I need to feel good and then it goes beserk on food when I'm alone cuz shame on me and my feelings aka food. Im sorry though, ik it's difficult and it's not your fault.

 

[Sandy9]

I'm so sorry you're struggling so hard with your ED. I don't have any advice, but just words of empathy and understanding. I've struggled with Ana/bulimia for a decade already and it's messed up my life in so many different ways. I wish you the best and I hope you find the help you are looking for.

 

[Saberhagen]

My eating disorder is ruining my life. I've struggled with it for so long but rn im at my hw. I feel awful comparing myself to my own friends. All i think about is food and cals. I don't go out anymore because i'm so uncomfortable in my own body. I started a new depression medication (Wellbutrin) and it was supposed to help suppress my appetite but if anything it's done the complete opposite. I've gained. I just hope to be somewhat satisfied with my body when I finally decide to ctb. Does anyone have any tips or how they stopped binging?

(also i'm sorry if there is already an active thread abt this, I tried looking around but couldn't find any)

Hello

I myself struggle with the food. Four years ago, I started to eat and eat and eat, and I can't stop. I gained a lot of weight; I used to be 74 kg, and now I'm 120.
I will start water fasting tomorrow. I tried it before once; I made it to 1 week, and then I gave up, but this time I'm going to go full 2 months. I hate my body and the fact that, as a 30-year-old male I can't control eating. I feel weak and miserable. If I can't control food, then I'm going not to eat it at all, and hopefully during these 2 months I'll lose at least 20 kg so that I won't feel ashamed leaving the house.

 

[mentalcheese]

Hello

I myself struggle with the food. Four years ago, I started to eat and eat and eat, and I can't stop. I gained a lot of weight; I used to be 74 kg, and now I'm 120.
I will start water fasting tomorrow. I tried it before once; I made it to 1 week, and then I gave up, but this time I'm going to go full 2 months. I hate my body and the fact that, as a 30-year-old male I can't control eating. I feel weak and miserable. If I can't control food, then I'm going not to eat it at all, and hopefully during these 2 months I'll lose at least 20 kg so that I won't feel ashamed leaving the house.

Hey, I'm relating to you so hard. I admire your strength in water fasting for that long it's very difficult something that i've tried for quite a while but, always failed. Please allow yourself to eat some light snacks while fasting to prevent future binging, I don't recommend fasting for that long either! Ik it's easier said than done… trust me but i've been there so many times suddenly restricting so much out of nowhere and stuffing my face till i can't anymore, it's a never ending cycle. let's work hard to get to where we wanna be I am here incase you need support

 

[nembutal]

my ed is unconventional. its the one no one wants. bulimia mixed with bed. ive binge purge 3-4 times a day. on 3-5k calories. i steal chocolate, sweets, to fuel my addiction. its disgusting. its vile and its another reason to kill myself. ive developed a literal relationship with it. i dedicate hours of my time and energy to eating a massive amount of food and then bending over the toilet. its gotten so severe that i dont even stick my fingers down my throat anymore. it just comes up when i bend over. i was sent to rehab in march and because i had no heroin to snort i turned to food. gained 27 lbs. im only 10 lbs down and 50 lbs away from my lowest weight... putrid. i desperately wish i had the disorder that made me starve. i dont care how insensitive it sounds. im tired of being this way.

 

[mentalcheese]

my ed is unconventional. its the one no one wants. bulimia mixed with bed. ive binge purge 3-4 times a day. on 3-5k calories. i steal chocolate, sweets, to fuel my addiction. its disgusting. its vile and its another reason to kill myself. ive developed a literal relationship with it. i dedicate hours of my time and energy to eating a massive amount of food and then bending over the toilet. its gotten so severe that i dont even stick my fingers down my throat anymore. it just comes up when i bend over. i was sent to rehab in march and because i had no heroin to snort i turned to food. gained 27 lbs. im only 10 lbs down and 50 lbs away from my lowest weight... putrid. i desperately wish i had the disorder that made me starve. i dont care how insensitive it sounds. im tired of being this way.

It sounds difficult, i am wishing you strength and hope we can both overcome this eventually. Just remember it's always okay to have a bad day. (even I can't fully believe that but, i'm working on it ) Send me a Pm if you ever feel alone!

 

[Kit1]

I weigh 104kg - lost 4kg in the past week as I have been quite ill. I went from 113kg to 74kg within a year (during covid) and then went up to 108kg as I was binging as this was my coping mechanism. When I lost weight (ideal weight should be 51kg), some of my physical health conditions improved and so did my mood sometimes. Since the weight piled back on, health has gone down in every way possible and I don't have the motivation action to exercise or to stop binging.
I am going to see if I can just drink water, Pepsi max and eat for a couple of hours per day - Rhaenyra, thank you for that tip.
I am going to see if I can just drink water, Pepsi max and eat for a couple of hours per day - Rhaenyra, thank you for that tip.