Venting Dying and stuff

[lavenderlilylies]

I usually stop the thoughts from flooding my head before they get real. If i slow down for a second to let them in, I'm done for. Last night when i finally got to lay down, i was immediately confronted with my own mortality. I'm going to die sooner or later, it was sinking in, i doom scrolled it away.

I don't want to be here anymore. The more i come to terms with the certainty of death, the less meaningful living becomes. Nothing means anything. We're all going to die. It's a basic thought, but I'm fine as long as I'm distracted from it. I keep pushing it back because I know when I invite it in, I'll be ready to go. I tell myself I'll allow it when I graduate in a few months, isn't that silly.

 

[Pale_Rider]

No its not silly. I can relate. Im not that close now, but I can remember doing things knowing they didnt matter. You really do wind up with a truly fatal mindset.

 

[LittleMagician]

I usually stop the thoughts from flooding my head before they get real. If i slow down for a second to let them in, I'm done for. Last night when i finally got to lay down, i was immediately confronted with my own mortality. I'm going to die sooner or later, it was sinking in, i doom scrolled it away.

I don't want to be here anymore. The more i come to terms with the certainty of death, the less meaningful living becomes. Nothing means anything. We're all going to die. It's a basic thought, but I'm fine as long as I'm distracted from it. I keep pushing it back because I know when I invite it in, I'll be ready to go. I tell myself I'll allow it when I graduate in a few months, isn't that silly.

Not silly. In fact it's very real.