Dry vagina vs relationship

[Supersadmommy90]

Tried this thread in Reddit, nobody cared, got embarrassed over an anonymous post, deleted it, anyway reiterating here, I know I'm getting a touch depressed again that in returning to the SS dungeon.
Anyway, I (F34) just recently got into a relationship, w man of my dreams/soul mate (m42) like this relationship is my best chance at a normal/stable life, with a man I'm truly compatible with, otherwise I'd probably be a crack head/spinster, instead I'm 3 months sober, pregnant, and also my hormones suck (they suck anyway) so despite the fact that I'm pregnant, my vagina is actually bone dry, and the fact that I need lube in order to have pleasureable sex, is an absolute blow to my femininity, and I'm being eaten alive by my sexual insecurity. I can get aroused, and i have a sex Drive, but even after i orgasm, start to finish I'm dry. So now I just completely resent myself and my perimenopausal slit for not being able to pleasure my bf, it's actually making me pretty crazy and I have to subdue having an embarassing meltdown over it, some Days i just want to cry all Day because of this. My sexuality is important to me and i still Very Much need sex, and sexual validation in m'y Relationship, and m'y underperformance is crippling, and i feel Im less validated appreciated sexually in m'y Relationship because of this, like m'y vagina doesn't evidently respond, so Whats the point in pleasuring IT? now im starting to feel humiliated and neglected, sexually, to the point that i get moré Pleasure masturbating m'y goddamned cursed dry vagina, at least i can still love and appreciate IT for what IT is and what IT does, or doesn't Do, Who fucking cares if im dry, IT wouldnt hurt so Badly if hé carressed and kisses IT and showed IT love and respect, for real m'y vagina feels disrespected. Honestly a mature lesbian wouldnt care that im dry, and Shed give me better head and moré sincerely, can he make me feel like a woman instead of slapping lube on IT and using IT for what its worth? Its honestly its making me want to die Alone, everything thats going on sexually... Like he deserves a wetter vagina than mine (they're out there and available), and I deserve another dried out fucking Lesbian Pretty much, if anyone could understand the insane emotions I'm grappling with and fucking climbing the walls wanting to escape this husk of a perimenopausal body, do you understand?!

 

[Ash]

I get that your hormones are everywhere and you're upset but why the comments about dried out lesbians?

Also, tell your partner that it hurts.

Show him how you need to be pleasured.

Go and see your doctor.

And stop using phrases like dried out lesbian.

 

[ham and potatoes]

As a guy, ive been with women why were just kinda naturally dry and had to use lube. It in no was was less enjoyable or less pleasurable for me.
I would hardly call being dry "underperformance" as you did.
But if it's bothering you that much, talk to your Dr about it. Probably just temporary pregnancy hormone thing

 

[thenamingofcats]

You probably could have said all of this without being disrespectful to lesbians.

 

[Supersadmommy90]

As a guy, ive been with women why were just kinda naturally dry and had to use lube. It in no was was less enjoyable or less pleasurable for me.
I would hardly call being dry "underperformance" as you did.
But if it's bothering you that much, talk to your Dr about it. Probably just temporary pregnancy hormone thing

Thanks for commenting this, like it's not even that big of a deal. From a dudes perspective that means a lot. Like your comment stopped my hysterical crying, i have a migraine headache from crying all fucking Day bc of this, so thanks for bringing that insanity to reign so bf won't have to say something similar, he's never made me feel bad and I've felt so tortured by the issue personally that if he so much as makes a joke, or mentions it in any kind of offensive or unflattering way, I have the "rage engaged' and I will flip shit and dump a man, who would put me through something similar emotionally to what I just put myself through, ugh

But I honestly still love my own vag even though it's dry, it's not actually all that broken it still works,.as far as the pleasure function, i still like it and and masturbate the fuck out of it,

Really I just want him to worship me in the bedroom like I'm his personal sex goddess, that is how I want to feel at all times and this issue has me feeling less than... So it's going to be up to him to prove me wrong lmao Shit

 

[ForgottenAgain]

Sorry but, you say you very much want to ctb yet you're 3 months pregnant?

 

[ham and potatoes]

I know we all probably have something about ourselves that we don't like, and we think that it is a big deal to other people.
But really, it's just a big deal to us....

 

[Dot]

Am srry fr th/ issus tht u r havng bt pls d/ nt mke hmophobc commts lke tht - = nt helpfl & = derogtry t/ a cmmunty

 

[BojackHorseman]

I understand that you have lots of feels going on, with being pregnant and struggling sexually. I really want to be empathetic and kind, but your dried up lesbian comments are unkind and homophobic.
But I understand your struggle. I have severe dryness issues as well. Like I will crack and tear down there. I have to use lube for the moisture just to be comfortable, and most definitely for sex or it's painful. I reccomend a silicone lube. I use Wet Platinum silicone. Silicone lube isn't nasty and sticky like water based lube like KY Jelly. It will absorb and add moisture almost like lotion, so you can use it not just for sex but as a moisturizer to keep your vagina comfortable.
I know it's easier said than done, but try not to let needing lube make you feel less feminine and inadequate. I know it's hard, cause it bothers me a little bit too. I didn't have this problem when I was younger when I first got married, it's only been since I was around 30. It makes me feel... old. And I worry it will make my husband feel inadequate. But he is always kind, never seems to be upset or bothered by it, and tries to make sure he is very lubed up so he doesn't hurt me. I do understand it is a little embarassing having to stop and wait on him to lube up, it kills the moment a little bit.
It concerns me you mention that you feel your needs are unfulfilled by your partner. As embarassing and difficult as it might be, it's best if you try to communicate your needs and feelings. I struggle with this too, I get that it can be hard. If you talk to him and he starts fulfilling your needs and your still dry though, don't be so hard on yourself. It's ok. I'm about the same age as you and I have the same issue, so I highly doubt we are "broken" or anything.

FYI: I want to make sure to mention silicone lube can NOT be used with condoms. They will cause condoms to break. Condoms require water based lube.

Sorry but, you say you very much want to ctb yet you're 3 months pregnant?

I know it might seem "selfish" to some, but that comment is a little bit insensitive. Even in people without a history of mental health issues, depression and stuff before and after giving birth is very common. She isn't alone in her feelings.

 

[LittleJem]

Why do you think you are peri-menopausal if you are pregnant?

I've never been pregnant but maybe this will change in a different tri-mester or however you spell it…

 

[Zazacosta]

My opinion... Do not take it seriously, because I am a man.
Do your partner loves you?
If yes, talk to him. Tell him what you feel. Tell him about your issue.
And together find a way what is the most pleasurable for both of you and what what would make you feel less insecure and stressed about sexual life.
EDIT: Same would work for a man with a problem with erection...

 

[let.me.let.go87]

As a straight woman I find all the disrespect towards lesbians very disheartening. My best friend is a lesbian. So really? Cut the shit. Anyway I have dry spells. I can't get pregnant anymore thanks to a shit doctor who sterilized me against my will three years ago during a cystectomy (no lawyer will even take the case so I can't even sue for malpractice ) but there are lubes and medications to help with it and if your man is insulting towards you about it he's no man. My husband had no issue with it. He uses lube and still has all the fun he wants to. He doesn't let it stop him at all. It's not like it's hurting him. Maybe you need a better man

 

[AmericanMary]

Dried out lesbian