Drowning?

[Install-Gentoo]

I used to really want to do hydrogen sulfide. Then, all my materials got taken away and now that method is out. I hate this world, why did I chicken out when I had the chance to go a proper way...
Anyway, at this point I don't have a lot of options. The only things I can think of are driving off a cliff (there are some nearby, but the exact positioning and the height are unsure of if I would survive), jumping off a bridge (though the best one around has a ton of security due to it being a common suicide point), or: swimming into the ocean as far as I can and then drowning.
Would this be an unbearable way to go? I really can't think of any other options.
I can't shoot myself because of a recent involuntary hospital visit, I can't use hydrogen sulfide or inert gases because of just requiring having stuff delivered to my house (I am stuck with my parents now), I can't hang myself because there is nothing to hang from and I am worried I will mess up anyway
I feel really hopeless. I can't die and I can't bear to live. I guess I'm stuck in this state of being a NEET where I sleep 14 hours a day and pretend to be alive.

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

Its quite scary and painful as you panic and suffocate to death :

Drowning is a form of death by suffocation. Death occurs after the lungs take in water. This water intake then interferes with breathing. The lungs become heavy, and oxygen stops being delivered to the heart. Without the supply of oxygen, the body shuts down.

The average person can hold their breath for around 30 seconds. For children, the length is even shorter. A person who's in excellent health and has training for underwater emergencies can still usually hold their breath for only 2 minutes.


For the first several seconds after water is inhaled, the drowning person is in a state of fight-or-flight as they struggle to breathe.
As the airway begins to close to prevent more water from getting into the lungs, the person will start to hold their breath involuntarily. This takes place for up to 2 minutes, until they lose consciousness.

 

[Enemy of Evolution]

Be aware. People tried to drown in a nearby river. But other fisherman rescued them and demanded money from kids parents. This happened near my home.

Make sure there is no possibility of any other person watching you drown. They want to be hero and rescue you.

Yes it's painful to drown. But 5 minutes of pain versus 5 years of pain. Think.

 

[FuneralCry]

Drowning does sound like a horrible way to ctb to me but I guess that it's always an option. Of course people have succeeded in dying that way before and I do envy them as they are now free from this awful world.
But I really do understand having limited options of ways to leave this world and I so hate the fact how we have to struggle so much in finding ways to die, we really shouldn't have to suffer so much in order to achieve something that is inevitable for us anyway. I know that it's so dreadful when you wish to leave, yet you feel trapped here, the fact that ctb is so difficult is the only reason as to why I still exist. But anyway I do hope that you find the freedom that you wish for, best of luck.

 

[Install-Gentoo]

Yeah, it sounds like a pretty shitty way to go. Maybe I'll try using a black powder firearm, as those are legally different. But then I don't know how to get it and hide it and all that

Edit: black powder rifles are still considered firearms in California, so I can't get one with my recent involuntary hospital stay. God. Damn. It.

 

[SamTam33]

There's a really good chance I'll end up drowning. I fluctuate between all sorts of methods.

I'd love to be able to ctb at my house where no one will interfere (and I can be drunk), but I'm skeptical of the feasible at-home methods and wary of another failure.

The universe isn't going to allow me an unlimited amount of attempts without any physical damage.

Anyway, I've found a new jumping/drowning spot less than an hour away.

I had to dedicate several hours to Google Earth. A lot of spots didn't have a street view available or access to the lakes and reservoirs were blocked with gates and other barricades.

Some bridges are just too busy. Some bodies of water too shallow.

I scrolled through all the pictures.
I watched news stories about people who jumped to try and glean any useful info.

I know where I'm able to turn around on either end, after exiting the bridge.

I created a story in case my constant u-turns look suspicious and I get pulled over. I know what props I'm putting in the front seat to sell said story.

I know I'll need to ride back and forth a few times.

Now I've moved on to the visualization process. For the longest time I had another bridge in mind and I was getting used to jumping from there.

I have to start over but this bridge is so much closer and way more "manageable" so it's fine.

It's amusing the amount of time we spend on getting our plans just right.

 

[TimetoGo!]

I used to really want to do hydrogen sulfide. Then, all my materials got taken away and now that method is out. I hate this world, why did I chicken out when I had the chance to go a proper way...
Anyway, at this point I don't have a lot of options. The only things I can think of are driving off a cliff (there are some nearby, but the exact positioning and the height are unsure of if I would survive), jumping off a bridge (though the best one around has a ton of security due to it being a common suicide point), or: swimming into the ocean as far as I can and then drowning.
Would this be an unbearable way to go? I really can't think of any other options.
I can't shoot myself because of a recent involuntary hospital visit, I can't use hydrogen sulfide or inert gases because of just requiring having stuff delivered to my house (I am stuck with my parents now), I can't hang myself because there is nothing to hang from and I am worried I will mess up anyway
I feel really hopeless. I can't die and I can't bear to live. I guess I'm stuck in this state of being a NEET where I sleep 14 hours a day and pretend to be alive.

There's a really good chance I'll end up drowning. I fluctuate between all sorts of methods.

I'd love to be able to ctb at my house where no one will interfere (and I can be drunk), but I'm skeptical of the feasible at-home methods and wary of another failure.

The universe isn't going to allow me an unlimited amount of attempts without any physical damage.

Anyway, I've found a new jumping/drowning spot less than an hour away.

I had to dedicate several hours to Google Earth. A lot of spots didn't have a street view available or access to the lakes and reservoirs were blocked with gates and other barricades.

Some bridges are just too busy. Some bodies of water too shallow.

I scrolled through all the pictures.
I watched news stories about people who jumped to try and glean any useful info.

I know where I'm able to turn around on either end, after exiting the bridge.

I created a story in case my constant u-turns look suspicious and I get pulled over. I know what props I'm putting in the front seat to sell said story.

I know I'll need to ride back and forth a few times.

Now I've moved on to the visualization process. For the longest time I had another bridge in mind and I was getting used to jumping from there.

I have to start over but this bridge is so much closer and way more "manageable" so it's fine.

It's amusing the amount of time we spend on getting our plans just right.

Jumping is just unbelievably scary to me and would be bottom of my list, but wish you the best

 

[SamTam33]

Jumping is just unbelievably scary to me and would be bottom of my list, but wish you the best

Agreed. I think it falls right in between a gunshot and hanging as the top 3 scariest methods.

But my primary focus this time is the effectiveness. I've spent years contemplating the most effective method (that I can reasonably carry out) and drowning is it.

I don't have to buy anything. Don't have to take lessons on how to use it. I don't need a prescription, etc.

I can't imagine overcoming SI for the umpteenth time, only to fail again.

I know my knees will be a wobbly mess.

For all I know, I'll get there and won't be able to commit. But I'm going to do every single thing I can to ensure success

 

[peacetime]

People speak of going to a forest to hang themselves, all you need is a branch that you can test will hold your weight. Drowning seems like a HORRIBLE way to go so I would not recommend it. SN should also be available enough through IC.
I don't recommend you CTB, of course it's your choice.