I'm still alive lol hey y'all :') Nothing went according to plan. My entire family was up, I fell ill and had a headache and sore throat the entire day; and worst of all, my anxiety got the best of me. I'm sorry to disappoint.. i'm sure some of you want another account of what happens.
On that note, I think I'm going to stop logging on here (Or at least, as much). I understand everyone just wants the best for everyone else, or maybe some are projecting their own fears of making it alive after an attempt; I just let it get to me too much. If I say I'm doing it at home, people tell me to go to a hotel or a forest, if I have a couple hours alone, people say it isn't enough.
I don't have the resources like everyone else for those things. My parents kept me sheltered all my life and I live in a foreign country without a job, so not only will they notice that I'm not in the house like I always am, I also have no money so I can't go anywhere in the first place. I will take measures to make sure I have backups, like a rope and leaving some sn behind in plastic bags and hiding it.
Everything seems to have been going against me :/ And I mean that quite literally. I'll be gone soon, but until then, I'm going to stop looking at things like that. I hope I can exit at my preferred time this time, and don't feel anxious. Thanks to everyone who wished me well :) love u all and I hope you're doing alright <3
TLDR; Setting wasn't going as I expected, got anxious because of the things I read here so I won't be logging on as much, will have backup plans aside
