Drifting Away From Me

[Johnhawk_Down]

Hopefully I manage to obtain a certain pill, if I should fail to get my wife back and son so we can be a family once and for all I think this is the song I would like to send to my wife (she will always be my wife in my eyes) :



Since everything is my fault and it feels like my chances of reconciliation are drifting further and further away, inside this is my truth:



To our son, I imagine walking down the beach or anywhere at all as long as all three of us are together, if it were ever to become a reality, talking to him, and finally feeling in myself happy to be his dad, this song would describe how it would feel:



It's all I want now and it's what I can't keep on living without. Their my universe, but i was too ignorant to know it at the time. Now I am haunted by memories, by my mistakes, to the point that it's too much.

 

[downndone2]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I certainly understand, I lost my marriage several years ago after I made some terrible decisions. And my heart and soul is shattered

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be so painful and devastating being in that situation. I'm sorry that you are suffering so much. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

 

[SKDN]

i also lost my marriage. Looking back it was so simple to be with her until now, but i was just so selfish. I wake up thinking of her, sleep thinking of her.. but al is lost. Cant keep like this anymore. There are times its hard to breath. I take all the medicines doctors tell me to, go to therapy.. nothing works.

 

[DPJ187]

I relate all to well. My partner and my son are gone. My little baby boy, only 22 months old. He doesn't even remember me. Its painful everyday, I miss them so much, why wasnt I a better person. They both deserved so much more. That's why I must CTB, I need to leave as my life is over. My shot at long term happiness is gone. But she made me so happy and he was so joyous. His wee face was perfect, nothing can take that away. Those thoughts will carry me over

 

[Darkover]

terrible music selection to listen to you must be in your 70s lol

 

[Johnhawk_Down]

i also lost my marriage. Looking back it was so simple to be with her until now, but i was just so selfish. I wake up thinking of her, sleep thinking of her.. but al is lost. Cant keep like this anymore. There are times its hard to breath. I take all the medicines doctors tell me to, go to therapy.. nothing works.

I am the same, I'm on a number of prescription medications for anxiety and one medication that's used to treat Major Depression Disorder, none of shit works because like you it's something very real and very dear that we have lost, not some chemical imbalance for instance. Have you tried to reconcile?

I relate all to well. My partner and my son are gone. My little baby boy, only 22 months old. He doesn't even remember me. Its painful everyday, I miss them so much, why wasnt I a better person. They both deserved so much more. That's why I must CTB, I need to leave as my life is over. My shot at long term happiness is gone. But she made me so happy and he was so joyous. His wee face was perfect, nothing can take that away. Those thoughts will carry me over

I can tell by your words that you mean what you say about ctb. Is there no glimmer of hope? A chance to make things right no matter how slow the process? You may even have a better shot than me, when my son was born, I felt no connection, I made no attempts to be his father, even though he was a lovely child, I couldn't find in myself the motive to invest anytime with him, and even though I loved his mother, what was my wife, she was no exception either. I didn't want to grow up, I wanted to live a single man's life and I just cared about getting pissed and stoned and left my wife and child to their own devices, as time went I didn't sleep in the same bed as her either, and this was a pattern for years, even with our son in care I made no effort to improve my relationship with her or with our son while she gave a 110%. It's when she left did i seem to wake up from this selfish bubble I was in and feeling and reality hit my like I've never been hit before, this pain and sense of loss goes deeper than even my parents deaths, it haunts me. I feel you should have a chance you seem like a loving father and husband, certainly compared
Yo what you have just heard from me.

terrible music selection to listen to you must be in your 70s lol

Wow, you seem clueless about this whole generational cohort thing, I'm guessing your a young Generation Z teenybopper. People who are in their 70's are freakin Baby Boomers or if a little older Silent Generation like my mother and father, my father listened to the likes of Eric Clapton, Dire Straits, Rolling Stones and my mother, Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash etc, they never heard of The Cure or Robert Smith whose songs are still listened today by people of all ages, well not your age clearly, and his songs will stand the test of time. The Cure is a late 70's and on into the 80's band.