Discussion Dreams since feeling this way:

[MeltingHeart]

Since I have beenn feeling suicidal may dreams have become incredibly rich, varied and vivid- like a whole different world has opened up-much relating to all the things I had hoped for in real life but wont be able to achieve now- its almost as if -because I am so unhappy in my real life- my brain is living out an entirely different version of my life - a much better one in my dreams! - I feel utterly mortified, panic-struck, grief- stricken and distraught when I wake up-it just makes me want to sleep and sleep (...I guess this atleast in part is where the 'sleeping forever' concept of death now appeals also)...Anyone live an alternate & so much better version of their life in their dreams? Perhaps this is a silly and obvious question, idk.

 

[k75]

My dreams have become super vivid and realistic, but they aren't better versions of my reality. They are nightmares, a mix of PTSD memories and scenes where I'm killing myself or watching someone else do it. I often wake up in a panic and have to convince myself it wasn't real.

 

[MeltingHeart]

My dreams have become super vivid and realistic, but they aren't better versions of my reality. They are nightmares, a mix of PTSD memories and scenes where I'm killing myself or watching someone else do it. I often wake up in a panic and have to convince myself it wasn't real.

God that sounds awful. I guess I've got that reverse thing whereupon when I wake up - then I am entering a nightmare - a living one

 

[MidLifeCrisis]

I have been having very vivid and complex dreams since my depression - but that is a well-known side-effect of my medication (Mirtazapine).

 

[MeltingHeart]

I have been having very vivid and complex dreams since my depression - but that is a well-known side-effect of my medication (Mirtazapine).

ergh Mirtazpine - did nothing for me- well none of them do now- was on citalopram for many many years-but I think that sadly just put a 'plaster' on things that I never dealt with-was on it for such a long time but not one GP ever questioned it or recommended therapy or anything -then I was told it would be ok to just suddenly come off them - during a period when I was suffering from severe insomnia (a quite obvious sign of anxiety/ depression)-but stupidly I trusted my GP so came off it- cold turkey- was atleast one factor in my severe breakdown- subsequently- everything bad, every bad memory has come bak to haunt me threefold- and everyone keeps saying- cant you just go back on the anti-d's -they helped you before-failing to understand they cant help me now- coming off those intitial ones opened Pandoras box-at the worst possible time in my life & trying new ones/ or any in fact, cant suddenly put that lid back on...the arent magic pills-they cant actually change yr life once it gets to a certain stage- they can only help keep you 'afloat' when you are struggling but not once you have sunk too low and are already drowning metaphorically so...some things-meds, therapy, suddenly people seemingly taking notice & 'caring'- some things can just come too late...