Dread when thinking of CBT

[Nightfoot]

Does thinking about your future CBT make you feel dread? Is this SI or something separate? How does thinking about it make you feel?

 

[Hiro Uchiha]

Sometimes, thinking about it gives me the sense of impending doom. Yes, I would say SI plays a role. A sense of great danger or something catastrophic is about to happen can be overwhelming, and is normal for some people when they think of ending their lives.

 

[gottacheckout]

SI could very well be at the root of your feelings. I personally don't feel dread when I think about ctb. But most likely we are at very different phases of life. I've had an adventurous life and really just want a good death at the end.

 

[Hollowman]

I don't feel anything about it anymore I'm too far gone. Just trying to wait out my mom.

 

[mourningyesterday]

yeah i feel sick that its got to this point

 

[Vlad Tepes]

Mainly in the form of SI. I dont fear death nor ctb in an abstract, conceptual sense, but I do definitely start shaking like a car when I think concretely about doing it (and lord knows I certainly was panicking back when I tried in August).

 

[Jadeith]

Does thinking about your future CBT make you feel dread?

Dread? No. Some type of longing perhaps, something i can't wait to happen. You know, the time i finally will be at ease and can rest.
It's something i anticipate and desire, just can't do rn as those under my protection still require my aid.

 

[copioushopelessness]

I feel dread every moment of my life since my life fell apart. I do dread that moment as I have no method planned. I threw my method away, it's the SI I can't stand.
I worry more about the two people I care about and how it may affect them even though I haven't seen them for a while. I worry that no one even cares but maybe it's better off that way.
I am more consumed by the regret I have about my life. Not living it the way I wanted to. I've been severely sick for most of my life, I dread thinking about my health declining even further. This past year the pain has become unbearable. If I had an easy way out I'd take it now.

Dread? No. Some type of longing perhaps, something i can't wait to happen. You know, the time i finally will be at ease and can rest.
It's something i anticipate and desire, just can't do rn as those under my protection still require my aid.

I too long to be at ease and resting.

 

[58Alice85]

Maybe a little bit
I am more scared at the thought of not being able to do it

 

[itsgone2]

Maybe a little bit
I am more scared at the thought of not being able to do it

Agree. I have many failed attempts, vast majority having almost zero chance of success. A fsh maybe would have but also poorly planned. Now I have what I need and can't do it. So I agree, I fear I can't do it.

 

[MyShadow]

Does thinking about your future CBT make you feel dread? Is this SI or something separate? How does thinking about it make you feel?

I recently read the phone conversation notes between two people after one of them had poisoned herself with SN. The narrator had written down everything the person was saying and hearing over the phone. According to the detailed notes, after she took SN, she was very aware of what she had done and the narrator could hear her suffering through the pain of the experience as she died.

Her death was not instant nor painless and the narrator was shaken by the experience. Although I suffer and think about suicide daily, as a sentient creature I still fear dying and reading the moment by moment narration affected me in ways I was not prepared for. It definitely triggered my survival instinct.