Venting Down in the dumps -> emptiness

[istheretrulyalife?]

I've been feeling extremely bad recently, but now i just don't feel like anything. No happiness, joy, or sadness.

I planned for my ctb date to be early 2025 to give life a chance but at this time I might push it to summer 2024.

My mindset is awful but no matter how hard I try I can't change it. I just tell myself just 1 more year, you have endured 5+ years of suffering you can do 1 more.

I also absolutely dread and hate school. I've felt the same way about school since 5th grade (about 9 years ago). I hate it, but just in case I don't ctb i have to have something to show for the future.

 

[istheretrulyalife?]

It's like a sinking feeling in my stomach. But I'm grateful for the community here. Even though this is purely virtual, its enough to help me endure just a little bit more.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best with your plans, it must be dreadful feeling trapped in that situation, I understand why you would feel so tired of it all.