doubt?

[lostforever77]

It's been a long time since I have been here. Though I have been a member for like almost 2 years now. And in all that time I never had my method in my own possession and now I do. And now I am just kind of thinking what to do. Do I want to just give up? do I keep fighting every day of my life just to survive? I am so close to not have a single person in my life that would miss me. Its sad. but I have no family, my only friends are at work. And it would be so so simple. Its a good method, I could just go to sleep and not wake up anymore. Should I have to stay in this prison that we call life? I don't know, I just don't but sadly I am close.

 

[bankai]

That's a decision that only you can make. And I hope you take your time with it. Most people know when it's time. Who knows, things may get better. Someone might come into your life, I don't know. You might win the lottery. OK, that's reaching a bit. But just saying. Till then, I hope we can do our best.

 

[lostforever77]

That's a decision that only you can make. And I hope you take your time with it. Most people know when it's time. Who knows, things may get better. Someone might come into your life, I don't know. You might win the lottery. OK, that's reaching a bit. But just saying. Till then, I hope we can do our best.

Ironically I kind of found someone, but I keep telling myself that its just not possible. She is really beautiful, caring, and loving. But, I have never been loved before in my life, not even as a baby...I got put into a dumpster. I want things to change, I really do, but just to get here has been very painful.

 

[bankai]

Ironically I kind of found someone, but I keep telling myself that its just not possible. She is really beautiful, caring, and loving.

Hmm. I'd definitely be suspicious as well. Is it even possible to be all three things?
No, I'm kidding. Dive in head first if that's the case. Sometimes we overthink these things and the other person gives up on us if we take too long.

But, I have never been loved before in my life, not even as a baby...I got put into a dumpster. I want things to change, I really do, but just to get here has been very painful.

You're breaking my heart.I'm so sorry. This is why I'm so anti natalist.Most people don't deserve their kids.

Did you get adopted? Did you find out who your birth parents were?

 

[lostforever77]

Hmm. I'd definitely be suspicious as well. Is it even possible to be all three things?
No, I'm kidding. Dive in head first if that's the case. Sometimes we overthink these things and the other person gives up on us if we take too long.


You're breaking my heart.I'm so sorry. This is why I'm so anti natalist.Most people don't deserve their kids.

Did you get adopted? Did you find out who your birth parents were?

I did get adopted, to a single mother when she was 25 for her to die at 35...leaving me parentless at 8. just to go to her parents so they can have the money from social security and abuse me in every way possible. I really did not mean to break your heart <hugs> I did find my birth mother and half brother, it was a really bad story, she died like that year, and never would talk to me. And my birth parents were pretty bad people. Its been a really bad life...honestly I have no clue why I have stayed this long.

 

[bankai]

I did get adopted, to a single mother when she was 25 for her to die at 35...leaving me parentless at 8. just to go to her parents so they can have the money from social security and abuse me in every way possible. I really did not mean to break your heart <hugs> I did find my birth mother and half brother, it was a really bad story, she died like that year, and never would talk to me. And my birth parents were pretty bad people. Its been a really bad life...honestly I have no clue why I have stayed this long.

You had such a difficult life. I'm sorry. You've kind of been thwarted at every turn in life.

I thought maybe if you found her, she would regret it. Some mothers do regret giving up their children for adoption or abandoning them. It's sad that she couldn't change later at least.

I understand much better now why you feel the way you do. Anyone would.