I just want to be remembered for who I was. If I die now people will still remember how great I was. I don't want my life to stretch on as I continue to crash and burn from where I started and turn into nothing but a failure.
I experienced a true love 3.5 years ago and it was so profound that I know I will never experience anything like it again. It was truly a dream relationship like few get to experience and I see what's all around me and know I will never have what I had again.
I had a bipolar episode / psychosis and lost all my friends and bf. I have been in three mental hospitals in the last few years. I want to go, I want to leave. I wonder if my friend will commit suicide with me. If he does I'd like him to shoot me first. I need to find a way out, whether that's jump off a building or bridge when I visit my sister in New York City or find one of my stepdad's firearms or find something toxic enough to overdose on. I just need something and I need to end it before it's too late and I've failed even more and been even more of a burden. My mom even throws up in the night out of worry about me. I am stressing her when she could be living a beautiful life without me.
I would turn to drugs and live as an addict to get the pain away but my mom won't let me and my condition is such that I would immediately go psychotic and have to be admitted again and I can't do that.
I experienced a true love 3.5 years ago and it was so profound that I know I will never experience anything like it again. It was truly a dream relationship like few get to experience and I see what's all around me and know I will never have what I had again.
I had a bipolar episode / psychosis and lost all my friends and bf. I have been in three mental hospitals in the last few years. I want to go, I want to leave. I wonder if my friend will commit suicide with me. If he does I'd like him to shoot me first. I need to find a way out, whether that's jump off a building or bridge when I visit my sister in New York City or find one of my stepdad's firearms or find something toxic enough to overdose on. I just need something and I need to end it before it's too late and I've failed even more and been even more of a burden. My mom even throws up in the night out of worry about me. I am stressing her when she could be living a beautiful life without me.
I would turn to drugs and live as an addict to get the pain away but my mom won't let me and my condition is such that I would immediately go psychotic and have to be admitted again and I can't do that.
