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IJustWantToTalk

IJustWantToTalk

That one bi kid in the friend group
Mar 3, 2023
17
Does anyone else feel like that? As much as I hate my life, I do still love my family. I really don't like the idea of one of them being the one to find me, especially my young siblings. Idk, that part of CTB just feels wrong to me.
 
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bees.

bees.

Any Pronouns!
Feb 11, 2023
29
You are absolutely not alone in this one. The main thing that's been keeping me off the bus for years is the fact that I don't want my family to have to go through that.
 
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stoopid

stoopid

from hell
Feb 27, 2023
183
It's hard for me to grasp this concept, you're suffering and don't want your family to suffer, but it will happen.

If you don't commit suicide, and live happily until old age, you will witness the death of everyone in your family and endure probably the worst. Maybe one dies with cancer, horribly, you just don't know. Maybe you're dying or get into an accident and they start to hate you because you're basically 100% handicapped and don't want to care about you then. Humans are a disgusting species, it just doesn't matter at all in the end.

Misery and despair are part of life and death, but death is the last station, the last act of enduring all that.

Do whatever you want be 100% sure but life is just a stretched way of the universe to say fk you.
 
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Fwompje

Fwompje

life is cruel and time heals nothing
Feb 23, 2023
190
I feel the same way even though I have a bad relationship with my family. I simply don't want my death to be a big deal, I just want them to get a message that I died. I'm planning on ctb in a different country for that reason.

Now someone finding your body will probably be traumatic for the rest of your life. Unless it's somewhat expected (I've found dead bodies bc of my job in healthcare and the experience isn't always bad). But people dying, most people will eventually move on, they will keep on living and functioning like they did before. They probably wouldn't forget you, the next gen will.
 
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D

darkdarkdark

Member
Feb 8, 2023
42
I feel this. my dad was abusive growing up
And I still have little issues with my mom and my brother once sexually harassed me but I still want the best for them and hope they won't blame themselves for my death.
 
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ilikecats

ilikecats

Member
Feb 15, 2023
37
It's hard for me to grasp this concept, you're suffering and don't want your family to suffer, but it will happen.

If you don't commit suicide, and live happily until old age, you will witness the death of everyone in your family and endure probably the worst. Maybe one dies with cancer, horribly, you just don't know. Maybe you're dying or get into an accident and they start to hate you because you're basically 100% handicapped and don't want to care about you then. Humans are a disgusting species, it just doesn't matter at all in the end.

Misery and despair are part of life and death, but death is the last station, the last act of enduring all that.

Do whatever you want be 100% sure but life is just a stretched way of the universe to say fk you.
Yeah I think you're right but it s different when someone die of suicide . Even dying of cancer isn't that nice . And when someone die of natural causes you can say to yourself he died we tried but could do nothing about it But for suicide it s not the case peoples can do something about it but they doesn't care unless you're dead .
 
stoopid

stoopid

from hell
Feb 27, 2023
183
they doesn't care unless you're dead .

And exactly that is their part of suffering.

The coin has always 2 sides, in the most cases both sides are suffering, but the pain will fade after a while for them. Some people has blessed life's, others don't. Some people take the final exit, but no one cares, there are always exceptions.

What I wanted to say, that it doesn't matter, because the end result will always be same, some instances between them can vary depending on how and when, but these are mostly neglectable, sometimes trying to fix a broken soul just is going to destroy them more.

If I reflect myself, it makes me sad, thinking that other people care atleast enough for their relatives that they try to stretch this misery out, endure more shit just that others that are most likely took part in the process itself that led to this outcome "aren't that sad" I pray to any entity that people get the strength to take a path to their best outcome.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,417
The reality is that grief and loss are just a part of life, even if we don't choose to exit on our own terms we all have to die and lose everything someday. I think that if people don't want to deal with loss then they shouldn't so selfishly bring life here in the first place. But there really should be some kind of legalised euthanasia option, so that people don't experience the shock of finding someone's body after they ctb.
 
jigsaw_falling

jigsaw_falling

if there’s an afterlife i’ll be pissed
Jan 25, 2023
70
me too, it's honestly the biggest reason why i haven't planned out how to ctb, because i feel like dying would be a huge betrayal to them.

i also have a small sibling, and she would be fucked up forever if she found me. and i know it would destroy my parents, just thinking about this makes me want to cry.
 
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