HandfulofBasil
New Member
- Jul 10, 2024
- 4
I've been struggling to actually plan a method of ctb, and I think the main one is my friends. They're like family to me, and I don't want to hurt them more with this than I have to. A month or two ago one of my friends told me to kill myself (this was in a joking manner with humor that we've used regularly before, they didn't and still don't know that I'm actively suicidal) and I pushed back any attempt at a plan or gathering what I need because I didn't want to make it seem like that was the straw that broke the camel's back. And fast forward to now, my best friend has had several sudden passings in his family in a small time frame, and I don't want to add onto that when he's already grieving so much. I haven't made a plan or gathered any materials because I know that I'm too impatient and will just try to do it at the next possible moment. I know there isn't ever really a GOOD time to CTB, but there are definitive bad times, and they always seem to overlap for me. Maybe it's a sign, idk. I just wish things were more simple for me. Damn my bleeding heart, I guess.
