Venting Don't know what to do, so much happening

[eddy hendryx]

This is my first post here, and honestly it feels like the only place where I can say this.

Lately since I finished High school, I couldn't feel anything but a sense of uncertainty on what I'm going to do next, with the constant pressure of my parents to do something after it since I wasn't doing anything, every time I feel I'm doing progress I stop it because of the sudden feeling of not being good enough or just not going to make it, it's extremely frustrating. I've trying to find good university for me to start next year, problem is that finding a good one here in my country it's extremely complicated or expensive, and now that I've tried my shot in two of the most important public universities here, I just got the notification I got rejected by both, and I can't ask for my dad to pay a private one, he works way too hard to request him something like that, I also tried to get a job but no luck, got an interview, and they never called back.

Besides that, being mostly in my rooms stuck and wanting to eventually rot it's something I can't avoid, it happens every time. The thoughts of finally ending it they never stopped since years ago, but I simply couldn't do it, there were some events that happened that made me not doing it. Currently, they're giving me the option to study and work in another country, but it's so damn scary for me, what if I don't live up to the sacrifice that they're doing? Many things happening, and I don't see any solution, wish I could say more, but I don't want to make this post longer than already is, don't want to bother anyone, just needed to say this somehow.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sorry you are under so much pressure. It must feel terribly daunting having all that ahead of you. I'm much older than you- 43 and I've been through much of that. It is a very stressful period. I got rejected from the first uni I applied to and it was really worrying. As it happened, I did manage to get on the course I really wanted but- it didn't really work out so well in the long run. I did fine on the course but getting a job in that field was a whole other matter. Unfortunately, life is full of difficulties. All you can really do is your best. You won't be letting your parents down if you are trying your best. No one can reasonably expect more of you than that. I wish you all the very best in whatever you end up deciding to do. All I would say is- keep talking to your parents. Let them know that you care and that you're worried. They probably do want to be there to support you.