dont know if i have the courage to go through with it but.............

[ever so lonely]

but i am waiting to die, i have more or less given up, anybody else in a similar boat ?, or what, i am tired of applying so much effort and getting little or nothing in return, to the contrary often shat on, i am tired of people telling me to suck it up, grow a pair, wind my neck in etc, and any other condescending platitudes you care to name, i just want to die folks, i am not sure if i can do it no matter how desperate the situation becomes, by my own hand at least, but i just know i have had more than my fill so to
speak of life, and everything it entails, i have no place in this weird society, it has made that abundantly clear to me, this place, this society, where people are so spiteful, hateful, nasty and toxic to be around, apart from sasu that is, i dont know, sorry for rambling, just wanted to vent somewhere, sick of cunts invalidating my pain, as if theres is worse than mine, like it some type of pitty party/pain competition, get to fuck, dont give a fuck what no cunt perceives me as as or thinks of me, probably why i am so unpopular, because i dont let some nerks opinions destroy me, or influence me, fuck them, let them get there own house of cards in order before they preach and judge, morons, next person that invalidates me in person, directly, will be getting throat punched, been on the cards a while, i just dont want a criminal record and an assault charge to go with it, but i know what i am capable of, if push comes to shove, it is what it is, never been a shrinking violet, i will probably end up doing time in the clink, but when ur suicidal, and at the end of of your tether anyway, well then, fuck it, no record at the moment, but i feel that about to change ya know, again fuck it, and fuck them too, they reap what they sow, cunts, put simply, yh, soz to be blunt, it just my feels, from the heart, as always, i cant wait to die people, hopefully i know nothing of what hits me, if i go quiet i have succeeded, i just want an outlet, i wish my mother was still here, i wish my support network was back again, but there gone and never coming back, i am tired people, quite frankly, and hey i am under no illusions, i know nobody gives a remote fuck about me, if they dont irl, well then why here, i lost those that cared some yrs ago, i dunno people, just wanna go, whatever awaits us cant be no worse than this torment, thanks for reading, and stopping by.

 

[theboy]

X2
I hope you find the peace

 

[ever so lonely]

thanks brother, appreciate it

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly see myself as just waiting around to die, that's all I see existence as being as, it's a futile process of slowly dying and I understand that it's so tiring feeling trapped here. Suicide really should be much easier, only the permanent relief and escape from all suffering appeals to me, existing certainly is so dreadful.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I hope you can find the strength you need and you can find peace!