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Carlotta16

The Best I Can Do is Nothing
Mar 16, 2022
134
I spent last night talking to a friend of mine who is feeling suicidal. She wanted my advice on wether she needs to get some help or wether she shoud just end it all. The problem Is that she will tell a few certain people that she wants to die and then obviously they have to report it. And she knows this. But I do believe she wants to die, I have no doubt about that. I'm just struggling with why she feels the need to tell people when she knows that they will have to.report it.
She has also told me that when she daydreams she sort of 'fantasizes' about what people would be like and what their reactions to her suicide would be.
I'm just struggling in how best to advise her 🥺🥺
 
its-about-time

its-about-time

nope
Mar 19, 2022
807
It's commonly called a cry for help. She may not admit that she wants help, but some part of her is hanging on. Get her the help she's subliminally asking for. It's easy to go deep enough in hopelessness that the only accessible way to ask for help is indirectly.
 
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Carlotta16

The Best I Can Do is Nothing
Mar 16, 2022
134
That makes perfect sense. She definitely wants to die , I'm just confused about why she wants other people to try and stop her and report her. She has tried every single way to help herself but even the professionals are now saying they don't
Know how to help her.
 
Crazy4u

Crazy4u

Enlightened
Sep 29, 2021
1,318
It is not easy to help suicidal people. Kudos to you for trying. You are a good friend.

You can talk to her and listen to her without judgement. Ask her about the reason she wants to ctb. It is hard to help her without knowing the reason.
 
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Hercules

Hercules

Arcanist
Jan 31, 2021
408
Your friend is conflicted and is crying out for help. One part of her is suicidal and really wants to die. Another part of her doesn't want to die and is holding out hope that somehow she can be saved. Being suicidal isn't necessarily all or nothing. Your friend is telling people that she is suicidal, because a part of her doesn't want to die. She wants someone to stop her and to help her.

You should talk to her again since she trusts you enough to talk to you about this. Try to get her to open up to you more. Ask her why she wants to kill herself. Ask her what is going on in her life that has triggered these thoughts. Ask her what kind of help does she need. What would have to happen in her life, so that she would want to live instead of wanting to die?

As for the professionals, there are good doctors and therapists, and there also bad doctors and therapists. Just because she has been to one or 2 professionals who weren't able to help her, doesn't mean that she can't be helped. If you think that she would benefit from professional help, you could encourage her to go to a different doctor or therapist. All of them aren't equal. A more experienced doctor or therapist may be able to help her.