Venting Don't know how long I'm staying

[Slimprofessional010]

To be honest I don't know much longer I can stay on this earth. I have people that care about me, a loving fiancee but my head is so fucked up I never know if the next day I might ctb and judge say screw everything and I care so much that it hurts because I truly care about others but it doesn't ever seem to do anything. I can try and try and try but nothing seems to be working and I don't want to skip away but it feels like that's the only thing that's going to happen. I want it to be slow so I can enjoy time with fiancee and do things I've never done before and try to be happy. I mask everything and it's slipping, the cracks and shining through and I'm scared someone will see me slipping and they will report me. I just want to die so I can finally be at peace and not burden others. I'm tired.

 

[fedup1982]

Dying is unbelievably hard. Chances are you won't be able to. So don't rely on that as an option

 

[tooBadTooLate]

I think it might be a good idea to let your fiancée know.

 

[Slimprofessional010]

I think it might be a good idea to let your fiancée know.

I have. She helps me stay alive