Venting "Don't kill yourself, it gets better."

[UninformedLover]

Heard that all my life and these people fucking lied so bad. It actually got progressively worse and worse. I wish I could just go back in time and just punch them in the face for lying.
How foolish and naive was I that I actually believed them too. Now everyday is just a test to see how much more awful my life can get.

 

[overmorrow]

it never gets better, you only get more used to the circumstances. It's easier, but not better, no

 

[meddle]

it may get better. or it may stay the same. or it may get even worse

and the sad truth is that you cant know with certanty what really awaits you. you can only make guesses (based on your life)

but the saddest truth is that it gets progressively worse more often. since positive changes require a lot of effort, suitable circumstances, help of others and luck. it wont be better just because

 

[Fadenself00_]

always remember that they have the same amount of knowledge about existential questions that you do as well..
many people think in so simple, self-lying ways - i think you should value yourself a lot more for the wisdom you have, being in this situation.

 

[Macedonian1987]

Sometimes this is indeed true, for young people.
For me it's getting worse with each passing year. My body's health issues are piling up with each passing year.

 

[behindtheveil]

Sometimes this is indeed true, for young people.
For me it's getting worse with each passing year. My body's health issues are piling up with each passing year.

Hang in there. I understand, somewhat in a similar situation.

 

[Macedonian1987]

Hang in there. I understand, somewhat in a similar situation.

I plan on hanging for a few months more. I just cannot live anymore with pain and on top if it all being all alone... utterly alone due to my asperger's :(
I hang on for 38 years... I guess this is some sort of achievement, to survive 38 years without any friends and no love life at all.

 

[Captive_Mind515]

The moment they think you're contemplating throwing the towel in, they act like they can solve all of your problems... but once the "crisis" moment has passed, they act like you're the problem. Stopping people from quitting this life, is about protecting the collective from some kind of suicide contagion. It's not about helping the individual. Allowing us to quit, would open a door... and force society to face some uncomfortable truths about this life. But they much prefer to continue living in denial about the true nature of this existence.

 

[behindtheveil]

I plan on hanging for a few months more. I just cannot live anymore with pain and on top if it all being all alone... utterly alone due to my asperger's :(
I hang on for 38 years... I guess this is some sort of achievement, to survive 38 years without any friends and no love life at all.

It must have been devastating, I'm sure. Life is often cruel that way. Please take care of yourself and feel free to talk anytime you feel like it.

 

[Duochrome-Seahorse]

life getting better will never be guaranteed. It's literally a gamble if fate wants you to be happy or not, even if you work your ass off. It was rigged from the start. I hate when people say it gets better but they don't tell you that life getting better is up to circumstance or luck.

 

[yotaka]

Heard that all my life and these people fucking lied so bad. It actually got progressively worse and worse. I wish I could just go back in time and just punch them in the face for lying.
How foolish and naive was I that I actually believed them too. Now everyday is just a test to see how much more awful my life can get.

It is incredibly frustrating. There's definitely a bias there, like, "Life has gotten better for me, therefore it will get better for you." In my mind, it's the same idea as rich people saying, "I made millions of dollars, therefore anybody can."

I plan on hanging for a few months more. I just cannot live anymore with pain and on top if it all being all alone... utterly alone due to my asperger's :(
I hang on for 38 years... I guess this is some sort of achievement, to survive 38 years without any friends and no love life at all.

You have done amazingly, friend

 

[Macedonian1987]

Don't kill yourself, it gets better.... was first said to me way back in 2003 when I was just 16 years old. I said to myself back then: maybe they're right. I'm young, healthy and I have my whole life ahead of me. Even back then I was friendless and avoided by any woman because of my Asperger's (back then the desire for me wanting to have a girlfriend was still existent)

Fast forward to 2026. I am and was friendless all these years without a single real relationship behind me with a woman. On top of it all, my depression is worse, my sensory overload is much worse, and health issues.... boy do I have them (I didn't had any of them in 2003)

For me it got much much worse. That's why I plan on checking out in the summer of 2026. I have every single item needed for my SN protocol. Just waiting for the date to come.

 

[lawlietsph]

after 17 years of being awfully suicidal and mentally ill, i can confirm that it never gets better. you get 1-2 days when you don't feel like absolute shit, and that's all. it gets worse and worse every single minute.

 

[elenaboo25]

For me, it tends to get better and then it gets worse again and then I hate myself even more for believing that it could get better and stay better. It never does. So now I'm actually trying not to get better.

 

[Jun123]

Honestly I wish I would have ctb'ed long ago, because then I wouldn't have to feel how I feel right now

 

[Natanael]

I suppose it depends on many things. In my case, things did improve, although it wasn't easy or simple

 

[Felixim]

I've deducted long ago personally that no, life in itself won't get better magically thanks to unseen forces sent by the universe, but more like it's about you, your habits, your mentality and your general social network that will help in whistanding difficulties and making improvement much easier to follow. But the thing is that if you have already been depressed or struggling for prolonged time, it will get more difficult to change. I definitely lost the desire to pursue a better life and haven't had any incentive so far to do so.

 

[Gabbi_Station]

after 17 years of being awfully suicidal and mentally ill, i can confirm that it never gets better. you get 1-2 days when you don't feel like absolute shit, and that's all. it gets worse and worse every single minute.

Yup. Pretty much.

 

[verybabybunny]

it may get better. or it may stay the same. or it may get even worse

and the sad truth is that you cant know with certanty what really awaits you. you can only make guesses (based on your life)

but the saddest truth is that it gets progressively worse more often. since positive changes require a lot of effort, suitable circumstances, help of others and luck. it wont be better just because

I think objectively it doesnt get better for anyone if you look at fact.

To live is to lose. Everything you love, everyone you love, everything you know. All the businesses and stores and food you like to eat. All of the people that work there. The way your body functions. Your entire family, your parents. The person you love the most.

Take Robin Williams as the example. Millions. Had it all. Still had living family. Lots of them. Best job on earth. Laughing all the time.

It doesnt ever 'get better'. To live at all is to endure loss, repeated, over and over again. Always.

 

[dhk96]

"You're still so young. You have your whole life ahead of you."

If 'youth' is all I had/have, what excuse will they have to offer in 10-20 years? I've lived long enough to hear this over and over again and I don't want to be around when it finally can't apply to me.

I think objectively it doesnt get better for anyone if you look at fact.

To live is to lose. Everything you love, everyone you love, everything you know. All the businesses and stores and food you like to eat. All of the people that work there. The way your body functions. Your entire family, your parents. The person you love the most.

Take Robin Williams as the example. Millions. Had it all. Still had living family. Lots of them. Best job on earth. Laughing all the time.

It doesnt ever 'get better'. To live at all is to endure loss, repeated, over and over again. Always.

People change/leave. Memories fade/get rewritten. And your environment gets less and less recognizable as trends shift to cater to/reflect the experiences of the newer generation, while every connection to your childhood comforts gets severed or weakened.

I've always feared and hated change so much. I don't want to gain anything if it's all going to be lost/a painful, sentimental, and obsessive memory that I can't stop clinging onto.

I know that I'm worth nothing and that the world doesn't revolve around me, but I don't want to acknowledge that the people around me are their own persons who can change or leave whenever they choose to. I don't want to see the signs of my parents aging. I don't want to feel nostalgic, broken, and stuck. I wish time would just freeze.

 

[Tellurian120]

"It gets better" always boils my blood. Because I know it won't. It may not be an objective fact but I know I won't. I'm not attractive, nor do I possess any relevant social skills, so I know I will never start a family. I know I will never progress in my job. I know I will never even graduate from college. But sure, it will get better.

 

[Pluto]

 

[eggsausagerice]

my bitter evil ass just wants the people that tell me that or try to say it's a reason to not kill themselves to have something bad happen in their life so they realize that their life can get worse if it doesn't get better. i'm especially tired of other trans people telling me that i shouldn't kill myself without transitioning when i'm still going to be suicidal and miserable if i stop being closeted. get real. my life and specfically my life sucks and would require a lot of effort and mental energy to get better that i simply don't have: i don't care if random other people i don't know have gotten better or if someone else's life has gotten better if my life got netter then got worse then got better then got even worse. it feels like every high or moment of peace just makes me want to die more so that the moment doesn't pass. i'm tired of people not recognizing that a large majority of people have empty and depressing lives. you only hear more recovery stories because those people are still alive.

 

[gonegirl405]

Don't kill yourself, it gets better.... was first said to me way back in 2003 when I was just 16 years old. I said to myself back then: maybe they're right. I'm young, healthy and I have my whole life ahead of me. Even back then I was friendless and avoided by any woman because of my Asperger's (back then the desire for me wanting to have a girlfriend was still existent)

Fast forward to 2026. I am and was friendless all these years without a single real relationship behind me with a woman. On top of it all, my depression is worse, my sensory overload is much worse, and health issues.... boy do I have them (I didn't had any of them in 2003)

For me it got much much worse. That's why I plan on checking out in the summer of 2026. I have every single item needed for my SN protocol. Just waiting for the date to come.

Do you maybe wanna talk? U can pm me any time

 

[vascomorrow]

I think objectively it doesnt get better for anyone if you look at fact.

To live is to lose. Everything you love, everyone you love, everything you know. All the businesses and stores and food you like to eat. All of the people that work there. The way your body functions. Your entire family, your parents. The person you love the most.

Take Robin Williams as the example. Millions. Had it all. Still had living family. Lots of them. Best job on earth. Laughing all the time.

It doesnt ever 'get better'. To live at all is to endure loss, repeated, over and over again. Always.

His wife later said that he had a brain disease that caused him to suicide?

 

[LetMeOut67]

Inescapable chronic social isolation doesn't get better I can assure you.
The shit for brains don't want to face the fact that some people are so irredeemably checkmate that death is only ever a release
They don't want to face the true horror of this world

 

[joey2424]

"You're still so young. You have your whole life ahead of you."

If 'youth' is all I had/have, what excuse will they have to offer in 10-20 years? I've lived long enough to hear this over and over again and I don't want to be around when it finally can't apply to me.


People change/leave. Memories fade/get rewritten. And your environment gets less and less recognizable as trends shift to cater to/reflect the experiences of the newer generation, while every connection to your childhood comforts gets severed or weakened.

I've always feared and hated change so much. I don't want to gain anything if it's all going to be lost/a painful, sentimental, and obsessive memory that I can't stop clinging onto.

I know that I'm worth nothing and that the world doesn't revolve around me, but I don't want to acknowledge that the people around me are their own persons who can change or leave whenever they choose to. I don't want to see the signs of my parents aging. I don't want to feel nostalgic, broken, and stuck. I wish time would just freeze.

Your post really resonates with me. I too have always feared change. I've gained and loved in my life, and each loss is a knife that has remained in my heart. I don't feel like I can go through the cycle another time. I can't handle to lose anything, even something I dont yet even have. I feel like no matter what my situation is or could be, I will feel scared and stuck and hopeless. I don't understand how people can face the horrors that life gives us and just continue on.