Venting Don't have the balls to kill myself

[HunterTheShark]

Its been a while since i posted, i am still alive, still miserable and want to die. I tried to find methods but i am too scared that it might hurt or that it will hurt my parents. I don't know what to do at this point. I stopped taking my antidepressant too i think thats why i am becoming more and more depressed but idk i like it, its better for me to be like that so i can kill myself faster. At this point tbh i want to be murdered or idk. Wish i had some balls to end it

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly understand that it's dreadful feeling so trapped in this existence, I wish that it's more straightforward to die, to me it'd be such a relief if the option to just fall into an eternal sleep is there.