From an atheist's point of view
I am asked again and again why I have such a relaxed relationship with death, why I will intentionally take SN without medication in order to remain conscious as long as possible and experience my dying with a clear mind. Why I am not afraid of it and am really looking forward to it.
I see my dying as something beautiful that I can unfortunately only experience once. The thought of it makes me happy, so I want to be able to enjoy the process. The knowledge that my body is poisoned and will soon no longer work, which is commonly described as dead.
I can't remember ever being afraid of death. At the age of 15 it was already clear to me that I would kill myself and not die of old age.
As long as I can remember I have been aware of what life and death are. That life has nothing to do with God or soul or a higher power. That nothing comes after life, including death.
Life ends with the destruction of my brain because that's where my life takes place. As a perfect interplay of biological, electrical and chemical processes.
Like everyone else, I always knew that one day I would die. So I did a lot of it and didn't suppress it. The thought of death has accompanied me all my life, has become a friend to me.
That's how I dealt with life. What it actually is, what the meaning of life is.
Life has no meaning, except for the preservation of the human species, which I am absolutely not interested in. Humans are just one of many biological ways of life that developed by chance.
So life has no meaning for me, no value. The effort to make something like this pointless is not worth the return because there is no return.
I cannot take anything with me, not even the knowledge that I am dead. As with all higher living beings, the parents have fulfilled their task as individuals after the conception and rearing of enough offspring.
That man became so intelligent that he considered himself too valuable for this simple task and looked for important reasons for his existence, was not planned.
It is therefore not surprising that every "normal" person believes he knows very well that life is the most valuable thing he has. But no one can provide a meaningful explanation for what is so valuable in life.
When I die I don't lose anything because life is worthless.
When I die, I gain nothing because nothing more comes, nothing is anymore.
So I don't exchange anything for anything, but I don't have to struggle with the meaningless life anymore.
That's why I have no problem with very young people killing themselves. I have to admit, it hurts me infinitely 5 when a teenager kills himself. But that's just a brief flare-up of instincts in me that are difficult to control.
Once I have realized this instinct and have it under control through rational thinking, I see the happiness that has come to them. That they are not caught and tortured in their meaningless life for years or decades and then die after all.
