Discussion Donating organs after CTBing

[OnlyHalfaGiraffe]

I am torn between wanting to do a good deed after all the pain and suffering I have cause by donating my organs (plus my mom will need a liver transplant after her cancer treatments so I plan on giving a piece of mine...hopefully since it is in my living will and advanced directives they are legally bound to save a sliver for her), but that would mean I would have to do it somewhere I could be easily found instead of a hotel or abandoned area like I originally planned. Or I'd have to call the paramedics myself so they'll keep me alive long enough for my organs to remain viable. But do I really want to risk the chance of being discovered too early or calling for help too soon and failing? Anyone in the same boat?

 

[Alexerini]

You can donate liver while you are still alive.

 

[OnlyHalfaGiraffe]

No I can't, she has a 8 cm tumor surrounding the inferior vena cava that enters the liver. Until the tumors shrink or we find a surgeon that can safely remove it they won't do a transplant and they won't take a piece of my liver until they are certain the surgery is going to happen. All the medical journals I've seen and surgeons we've talked to have no idea how to do it. She was supposed to die in 3-6 months but she's fought for almost 3 years and I can't wait much longer.

 

[yetme]

I am torn between wanting to do a good deed after all the pain and suffering I have cause by donating my organs (plus my mom will need a liver transplant after her cancer treatments so I plan on giving a piece of mine...hopefully since it is in my living will and advanced directives they are legally bound to save a sliver for her), but that would mean I would have to do it somewhere I could be easily found instead of a hotel or abandoned area like I originally planned. Or I'd have to call the paramedics myself so they'll keep me alive long enough for my organs to remain viable. But do I really want to risk the chance of being discovered too early or calling for help too soon and failing? Anyone in the same boat?

no, you can't donate your organs after you poison yourself with SN or any other substance. sorry. if you wish to donate your liver that must be done before CTB. this way you have a better chance of successful transplantation

 

[OnlyHalfaGiraffe]

I wasn't going to poison myself. I was planning on slitting my wrists from elbow up and bleed out.

 

[deadpixels]

I wasn't going to poison myself. I was planning on slitting my wrists from elbow up and bleed out.

You must be really desperate and brave, just reading about it makes my body contort imagining the pain.

After a quick reading on donating organs after death, it seems like most places only accept organs from brain death patients. Other places may accept organs from cardiac death as well, but it's considered unreliable. If you want to donate your organs after ctb, you should first look for information from your hospital to know if they accept organs from cardiac death. There are a few methods that cause cardiac death and, if well timed, may allow your organs to be preserved, but it's a gamble.

I found no reports of any case of organ donation from suicide cases, doesn't look like a real possibility, sorry.

And slitting wrists will probably render your organs unusable as well, please, don't do that!

 

[Quarky00]

Organ donations are not accepted after suicide and it would be impossible to time suicide like that

Even if that were possible and you just cut wrists -- hospital must have full tox and others , for liver that may take 24h , you need to be brain dead yet blood pumping (life support: heart and lungs working). Aiming for that state would be impossible .

(It's basically not impossible ; there's always that 1 in a million case when a person ctb and their organs donated)

 

[autumnal]

I am torn between wanting to do a good deed after all the pain and suffering I have cause by donating my organs (plus my mom will need a liver transplant after her cancer treatments so I plan on giving a piece of mine...hopefully since it is in my living will and advanced directives they are legally bound to save a sliver for her), but that would mean I would have to do it somewhere I could be easily found instead of a hotel or abandoned area like I originally planned. Or I'd have to call the paramedics myself so they'll keep me alive long enough for my organs to remain viable. But do I really want to risk the chance of being discovered too early or calling for help too soon and failing? Anyone in the same boat?

Organ donations are not accepted after suicide and it would be impossible to time suicide like that

Even if that were possible and you just cut wrists -- hospital must have full tox and others , for liver that may take 24h , you need to be brain dead yet blood pumping (life support: heart and lungs working). Aiming for that state would be impossible .

(It's basically not impossible ; there's always that 1 in a million case when a person ctb and their organs donated)

Yes, very much agreed. See here for my post which elaborates on this topic.

 

[Arisa]

That is sad... i wish i could donate my organs as well. That was always a dream of mine.

 

[OnlyHalfaGiraffe]

You must be really desperate and brave

Brave, no. Desperate, yes. Not desperate enough to make impulsive decisions though, every one of my attempts were carefully thoughtout. Ran my car into a tree hoping to sustain maximum injuries and be unable to save, no such luck. OD'ed on a menagerie of drugs, mainly sleeping pills and a few opiates and muscle relaxors, still kicking. I'm running out of options... at least for a death where I can save my organs. This one seems the most plausible, albeit painful.

Organ donations are not accepted after suicide and it would be impossible to time suicide like that

Maybe it depends on the location, but I've found plenty of medical journals that stated otherwise (at least for the no accepting organs after suicide). As for timing: if a regular human had 4 to 6 liters of blood and to be considered past the point of no return I'd have to lose 40-60 % of my total volume (at least before the paramedics arrive) which in ulnar or radial artery exsanguinations can take up to 2 minutes, maybe a schmee bit longer. Veins would be easier to cut but it would probably take longer to lose the same amount of blood. I think I'd have plenty of time for either option to work if I called before hand since after 10 or 15 seconds I'd pass out, but I'd probably also need to know how quickly someone would arrive. It would probably be easier to time than any other method that I've thought of. Maybe since I was never lucky in life I'll be lucky in death and be that 1 in a million. Who knows...at this point I'm just incoherently babbling. Sorry.

Yes, very much agreed. See here for my post which elaborates on this topic.

Thank you for showing me this, it was very informative.

 

[deadpixels]

Brave, no. Desperate, yes. Not desperate enough to make impulsive decisions though, every one of my attempts were carefully thoughtout. Ran my car into a tree hoping to sustain maximum injuries and be unable to save, no such luck. OD'ed on a menagerie of drugs, mainly sleeping pills and a few opiates and muscle relaxors, still kicking. I'm running out of options... at least for a death where I can save my organs. This one seems the most plausible, albeit painful.


Maybe it depends on the location, but I've found plenty of medical journals that stated otherwise (at least for the no accepting organs after suicide). As for timing: if a regular human had 4 to 6 liters of blood and to be considered past the point of no return I'd have to lose 40-60 % of my total volume (at least before the paramedics arrive) which in ulnar or radial artery exsanguinations can take up to 2 minutes, maybe a schmee bit longer. Veins would be easier to cut but it would probably take longer to lose the same amount of blood. I think I'd have plenty of time for either option to work if I called before hand since after 10 or 15 seconds I'd pass out, but I'd probably also need to know how quickly someone would arrive. It would probably be easier to time than any other method that I've thought of. Maybe since I was never lucky in life I'll be lucky in death and be that 1 in a million. Who knows...at this point I'm just incoherently babbling. Sorry.


Thank you for showing me this, it was very informative.

Can you explain a little better what you're trying to do? It seems like you want to put yourself through a lot of pain while still very unlikely to achieve what you want, both physically and legally. Can you post links to the medical journals you mentioned, if you still have them?

Yes, very much agreed. See here for my post which elaborates on this topic.

Why isn't your thread linked in the resources compilation? Can we ask the mods to add it?

 

[Quarky00]

As for timing: if a regular human had 4 to 6 liters of blood and to be considered past the point of no return I'd have to lose 40-60 % of my total volume (at least before the paramedics arrive) which in ulnar or radial artery exsanguinations can take up to 2 minutes, maybe a schmee bit longer. Veins would be easier to cut but it would probably take longer to lose the same amount of blood. I think I'd have plenty of time for either option to work if I called before hand since after 10 or 15 seconds I'd pass out, but I'd probably also need to know how quickly someone would arrive. It would probably be easier to time than any other method that I've thought of. Maybe since I was never lucky in life I'll be lucky in death and be that 1 in a million. Who knows...at this point I'm just incoherently babbling. Sorry.

I have no medical training whatsoever . I do not know if

1. a simple cut to the ulnar or radial artery will result in 50% body blood loss ; and
2. within 3 minutes ; and
3. person would then be brain dead ; while
4. paramedics arriving within 7 minutes will help heart/blood function ; and
5. you'll be kept alive when reach at ICU ..

I just don't know the exact medical timing, maybe others do. It should be done in an orderly fashion, with medical file in proximity and probably with directive (there are instructions where to put it for EMS). Better tp notify emergency services on the phone of the whole affair. Make it clear. EMS are not knowledgeable in legal documents so they will resuscitate, but they should carry on the documents to ICU.

Patient usually needs to be on ventilator in order to harvest organs, so you may need to change your directive:

If the patient has indicated in an advance health care directive that they do not wish to receive mechanical ventilation or has specified a do not resuscitate order and the patient has also indicated that they wish to donate their organs, some vital organs such as the heart and lungs may not be able to be recovered.

Yeah it's tricky ...

 

[Josef2000]

I am torn between wanting to do a good deed after all the pain and suffering I have cause by donating my organs (plus my mom will need a liver transplant after her cancer treatments so I plan on giving a piece of mine...hopefully since it is in my living will and advanced directives they are legally bound to save a sliver for her), but that would mean I would have to do it somewhere I could be easily found instead of a hotel or abandoned area like I originally planned. Or I'd have to call the paramedics myself so they'll keep me alive long enough for my organs to remain viable. But do I really want to risk the chance of being discovered too early or calling for help too soon and failing? Anyone in the same boat?

it's a tricky situation, it's great your donating your organs however doing it in a hotel would be great to ctb and be found the next morning dead however you risk traumatising the person that finds you. I do know of this programme to send future emails https://www.futureme.org/ which you could give to someone to reveal your location in two days or whatever based on your method

 

[autumnal]

[...]
Why isn't your thread linked in the resources compilation? Can we ask the mods to add it?

I hadn't considered that it might be worthy of that, but you are certainly welcome to message a mod and suggest it

 

[OnlyHalfaGiraffe]

Can you explain a little better what you're trying to do? It seems like you want to put yourself through a lot of pain while still very unlikely to achieve what you want, both physically and legally. Can you post links to the medical journals you mentioned, if you still have them?

Okay, I feel like maybe my thoughts have been totes all over the place so I apologize. They'll probably still be scattered but I'll try my best to explain what it is I want. I need to achieve death completely. I cannot fuck this up again. I can't fucking do it anymore, I'm done. I don't care if it's painful, I don't care if it's unconventional, I don't care about anything as long as it gets me what I want. Well, maybe that is not completely accurate.

The only thing that seems to keep me breathing (barely) is knowing my mom is dying an agonizing death and there is nothing I can do to help her... she does not deserve it, she does not want to die. I know not everyone has reliable parents, and I have been extremely lucky to have even one, but she is hella amazing, a fucking hardcore human. She is a strong advocate for pro-life, and I am too, to an extent (but that's a topic for another discussion) so she doesn't understand me at all. So, it got me thinking about all the other people out there that are in the same boat as her and as my final act, I want to be able to save a few people. It may just be an unachievable pipe dream, but I want to save a piece of my liver for her to use once a surgeon figures out how to do a transplant safely or if the treatment starts fucking working. I want to be able to donate as much as possible: heart, lungs, pancreas, intestines, kidneys, eyes, skin, anything I can possibly give. I won't be needing any of it so why not give it all up? Save for a few useless organs.

I have been researching a way to cause death without any major internal problems...but that is utterly impossible. FUCK! The only option I seem to have left, at least if I want to keep my organs viable, is to use a method known to work fast and time it right. I thought about drowning in a bathtub after reading about people who have almost drowned and said it was peaceful and calming, but that would be difficult to time. Hard no. I thought about running my car into something again, it would be easy to make it look like an accident but the first time didn't really do any killer damage so that's a no-go. I thought about using the whole exit bag thing but that would also be difficult to time correctly so again no can do. Shotgun would be too swift, no. OD'ing is not reliable, although it would probably be easier but would have a higher percentage of not working and I don't think I could swallow hundreds of pills again so mmmhhhh probably not. Any kind of poisoning is too risky since I need functioning organs to do a transplant.

The only way I've found that could actually work is slitting wrists but it has to be from elbow up and not too far to severe the nerves in my hands. There is a lot of info on how long it takes for blood to flow out of the body, how much you'd have to lose to still be alive when help arrives, where in the arm is best to cut to keep everything functioning if it fails. Of course it'll be fucking painful, but being alive is so much worse so I think I could handle it. If not, I still have a few opiates left to help dull the pain.

**As for the medical journals, I can't find the exact ones but here are a few of the archives I've used:

National Center for Biotechnology Information

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Error - Cookies Turned Off

onlinelibrary.wiley.com

American Psychological Association (APA)

The American Psychological Association (APA) is a scientific and professional organization that represents psychologists in the United States. APA educates the public about psychology, behavioral science and mental health; promotes psychological science and practice; fosters the education and...

www.apa.org

I have no medical training whatsoever . I do not know if

1. a simple cut to the ulnar or radial artery will result in 50% body blood loss ; and
2. within 3 minutes ; and
3. person would then be brain dead ; while
4. paramedics arriving within 7 minutes will help heart/blood function ; and
5. you'll be kept alive when reach at ICU ..

I just don't know the exact medical timing, maybe others do. It should be done in an orderly fashion, with medical file in proximity and probably with directive (there are instructions where to put it for EMS). Better tp notify emergency services on the phone of the whole affair. Make it clear. EMS are not knowledgeable in legal documents so they will resuscitate, but they should carry on the documents to ICU.

Honestly, I can't vouch for the validity of any of it either. Sure I've taken anatomy classes and read some of "Grey's Anatomy" on the particular areas and medical journals on the subject but I have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about, maybe none of it is even remotely true. Who really knows? Medical professonals probably don't even now the correct timing. But alas, I'm just grasping at straws at this point since I can't think of another method that would work how I want it to. Hell, this might not work either but I might as well try one last time right? And it wouldn't be a simple cut, it'd be fairly deep starting from the inside part of my elbow down to my hand. A simple cut wouldn't do shit.

I am planning on calling before starting and giving verbal directions for the operator to relay to the paramedics for when they arrive but since most people haven't learned the art of listening, I'll leave some written directions along with my directives and living will next to my body. I had it as DNR unless for organ procurement so you're definitely right, I'll have to make some adjustments to achieve what I am planning and not have any misunderstandings. Can't you sue if they go against your written wishes? Or does that not count for suicide cases?

it's a tricky situation, it's great your donating your organs however doing it in a hotel would be great to ctb and be found the next morning dead however you risk traumatising the person that finds you.I do know of this programme to send future emails https://www.futureme.org/

Yeah, I'm definitely using a hotel, I had to do it at home last time and my husband found me and now suffers from intense PTSD. I found one with a low rating so finding a dead body shouldn't strain their revenue. As for the person who finds me, I know I'm going to cause them incredible pain for the rest of their life and I would never wish that kind of suffering on anyone but it is for the greater good so I'd hope they'd learn to understand my side. I've even written a letter apologizing for causing them this pain and making sure they understand it is not their fault and they couldn't do anything for me plus a huge tip. I didn't know they had a service like this! I'll probably use it or something similar for sending out my letters, thank you!

 

[autumnal]

Okay, I feel like maybe my thoughts have been totes all over the place so I apologize. They'll probably still be scattered but I'll try my best to explain what it is I want. I need to achieve death completely. I cannot fuck this up again. I can't fucking do it anymore, I'm done. I don't care if it's painful, I don't care if it's unconventional, I don't care about anything as long as it gets me what I want. Well, maybe that is not completely accurate.

The only thing that seems to keep me breathing (barely) is knowing my mom is dying an agonizing death and there is nothing I can do to help her... she does not deserve it, she does not want to die. I know not everyone has reliable parents, and I have been extremely lucky to have even one, but she is hella amazing, a fucking hardcore human. She is a strong advocate for pro-life, and I am too, to an extent (but that's a topic for another discussion) so she doesn't understand me at all. So, it got me thinking about all the other people out there that are in the same boat as her and as my final act, I want to be able to save a few people. It may just be an unachievable pipe dream, but I want to save a piece of my liver for her to use once a surgeon figures out how to do a transplant safely or if the treatment starts fucking working. I want to be able to donate as much as possible: heart, lungs, pancreas, intestines, kidneys, eyes, skin, anything I can possibly give. I won't be needing any of it so why not give it all up? Save for a few useless organs.

I have been researching a way to cause death without any major internal problems...but that is utterly impossible. FUCK! The only option I seem to have left, at least if I want to keep my organs viable, is to use a method known to work fast and time it right. I thought about drowning in a bathtub after reading about people who have almost drowned and said it was peaceful and calming, but that would be difficult to time. Hard no. I thought about running my car into something again, it would be easy to make it look like an accident but the first time didn't really do any killer damage so that's a no-go. I thought about using the whole exit bag thing but that would also be difficult to time correctly so again no can do. Shotgun would be too swift, no. OD'ing is not reliable, although it would probably be easier but would have a higher percentage of not working and I don't think I could swallow hundreds of pills again so mmmhhhh probably not. Any kind of poisoning is too risky since I need functioning organs to do a transplant.

The only way I've found that could actually work is slitting wrists but it has to be from elbow up and not too far to severe the nerves in my hands. There is a lot of info on how long it takes for blood to flow out of the body, how much you'd have to lose to still be alive when help arrives, where in the arm is best to cut to keep everything functioning if it fails. Of course it'll be fucking painful, but being alive is so much worse so I think I could handle it. If not, I still have a few opiates left to help dull the pain.

**As for the medical journals, I can't find the exact ones but here are a few of the archives I've used:

National Center for Biotechnology Information

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Error - Cookies Turned Off

onlinelibrary.wiley.com

American Psychological Association (APA)

The American Psychological Association (APA) is a scientific and professional organization that represents psychologists in the United States. APA educates the public about psychology, behavioral science and mental health; promotes psychological science and practice; fosters the education and...

www.apa.org

Honestly, I can't vouch for the validity of any of it either. Sure I've taken anatomy classes and read some of "Grey's Anatomy" on the particular areas and medical journals on the subject but I have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about, maybe none of it is even remotely true. Who really knows? Medical professonals probably don't even now the correct timing. But alas, I'm just grasping at straws at this point since I can't think of another method that would work how I want it to. Hell, this might not work either but I might as well try one last time right? And it wouldn't be a simple cut, it'd be fairly deep starting from the inside part of my elbow down to my hand. A simple cut wouldn't do shit.

I am planning on calling before starting and giving verbal directions for the operator to relay to the paramedics for when they arrive but since most people haven't learned the art of listening, I'll leave some written directions along with my directives and living will next to my body. I had it as DNR unless for organ procurement so you're definitely right, I'll have to make some adjustments to achieve what I am planning and not have any misunderstandings. Can't you sue if they go against your written wishes? Or does that not count for suicide cases?



Yeah, I'm definitely using a hotel, I had to do it at home last time and my husband found me and now suffers from intense PTSD. I found one with a low rating so finding a dead body shouldn't strain their revenue. As for the person who finds me, I know I'm going to cause them incredible pain for the rest of their life and I would never wish that kind of suffering on anyone but it is for the greater good so I'd hope they'd learn to understand my side. I've even written a letter apologizing for causing them this pain and making sure they understand it is not their fault and they couldn't do anything for me plus a huge tip. I didn't know they had a service like this! I'll probably use it or something similar for sending out my letters, thank you!

As my guide linked to in my earlier post suggests, it is unfortunately very unlikely for all of the reasons listed.

 

[laserfocus111]

The forensic pathologist is probably the one getting first dibs on the organs of anyone who ctb..

 

[Josef2000]

Okay, I feel like maybe my thoughts have been totes all over the place so I apologize. They'll probably still be scattered but I'll try my best to explain what it is I want. I need to achieve death completely. I cannot fuck this up again. I can't fucking do it anymore, I'm done. I don't care if it's painful, I don't care if it's unconventional, I don't care about anything as long as it gets me what I want. Well, maybe that is not completely accurate.

The only thing that seems to keep me breathing (barely) is knowing my mom is dying an agonizing death and there is nothing I can do to help her... she does not deserve it, she does not want to die. I know not everyone has reliable parents, and I have been extremely lucky to have even one, but she is hella amazing, a fucking hardcore human. She is a strong advocate for pro-life, and I am too, to an extent (but that's a topic for another discussion) so she doesn't understand me at all. So, it got me thinking about all the other people out there that are in the same boat as her and as my final act, I want to be able to save a few people. It may just be an unachievable pipe dream, but I want to save a piece of my liver for her to use once a surgeon figures out how to do a transplant safely or if the treatment starts fucking working. I want to be able to donate as much as possible: heart, lungs, pancreas, intestines, kidneys, eyes, skin, anything I can possibly give. I won't be needing any of it so why not give it all up? Save for a few useless organs.

I have been researching a way to cause death without any major internal problems...but that is utterly impossible. FUCK! The only option I seem to have left, at least if I want to keep my organs viable, is to use a method known to work fast and time it right. I thought about drowning in a bathtub after reading about people who have almost drowned and said it was peaceful and calming, but that would be difficult to time. Hard no. I thought about running my car into something again, it would be easy to make it look like an accident but the first time didn't really do any killer damage so that's a no-go. I thought about using the whole exit bag thing but that would also be difficult to time correctly so again no can do. Shotgun would be too swift, no. OD'ing is not reliable, although it would probably be easier but would have a higher percentage of not working and I don't think I could swallow hundreds of pills again so mmmhhhh probably not. Any kind of poisoning is too risky since I need functioning organs to do a transplant.

The only way I've found that could actually work is slitting wrists but it has to be from elbow up and not too far to severe the nerves in my hands. There is a lot of info on how long it takes for blood to flow out of the body, how much you'd have to lose to still be alive when help arrives, where in the arm is best to cut to keep everything functioning if it fails. Of course it'll be fucking painful, but being alive is so much worse so I think I could handle it. If not, I still have a few opiates left to help dull the pain.

**As for the medical journals, I can't find the exact ones but here are a few of the archives I've used:

National Center for Biotechnology Information

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Error - Cookies Turned Off

onlinelibrary.wiley.com

American Psychological Association (APA)

The American Psychological Association (APA) is a scientific and professional organization that represents psychologists in the United States. APA educates the public about psychology, behavioral science and mental health; promotes psychological science and practice; fosters the education and...

www.apa.org

Honestly, I can't vouch for the validity of any of it either. Sure I've taken anatomy classes and read some of "Grey's Anatomy" on the particular areas and medical journals on the subject but I have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about, maybe none of it is even remotely true. Who really knows? Medical professonals probably don't even now the correct timing. But alas, I'm just grasping at straws at this point since I can't think of another method that would work how I want it to. Hell, this might not work either but I might as well try one last time right? And it wouldn't be a simple cut, it'd be fairly deep starting from the inside part of my elbow down to my hand. A simple cut wouldn't do shit.

I am planning on calling before starting and giving verbal directions for the operator to relay to the paramedics for when they arrive but since most people haven't learned the art of listening, I'll leave some written directions along with my directives and living will next to my body. I had it as DNR unless for organ procurement so you're definitely right, I'll have to make some adjustments to achieve what I am planning and not have any misunderstandings. Can't you sue if they go against your written wishes? Or does that not count for suicide cases?



Yeah, I'm definitely using a hotel, I had to do it at home last time and my husband found me and now suffers from intense PTSD. I found one with a low rating so finding a dead body shouldn't strain their revenue. As for the person who finds me, I know I'm going to cause them incredible pain for the rest of their life and I would never wish that kind of suffering on anyone but it is for the greater good so I'd hope they'd learn to understand my side. I've even written a letter apologizing for causing them this pain and making sure they understand it is not their fault and they couldn't do anything for me plus a huge tip. I didn't know they had a service like this! I'll probably use it or something similar for sending out my letters, thank you!

I hope you find the peace your looking for

 

[OnlyHalfaGiraffe]

The forensic pathologist is probably the one getting first dibs on the organs of anyone who ctb..

En serio?! Even if I didn't ingest anything to CTB??? That ain't cool yo. Damn, this isn't going to workout like I want, is it? After all this time spent researching and plotting, I wanted to try to save my organs...at least for my mom's sake. But even in death I can't do anything right. I was planning on doing it this month and already have everything set up so I don't think I'll change my method. But I think I will forget about trying to save my organs.

Thank you to all of you who have commented on my post <3
I am grateful to have your input. It has helped me

I hope you find the peace your looking for

Me too, friend. Me too.

 

[deadpixels]

Okay, I feel like maybe my thoughts have been totes all over the place so I apologize. They'll probably still be scattered but I'll try my best to explain what it is I want. I need to achieve death completely. I cannot fuck this up again. I can't fucking do it anymore, I'm done. I don't care if it's painful, I don't care if it's unconventional, I don't care about anything as long as it gets me what I want. Well, maybe that is not completely accurate.

The only thing that seems to keep me breathing (barely) is knowing my mom is dying an agonizing death and there is nothing I can do to help her... she does not deserve it, she does not want to die. I know not everyone has reliable parents, and I have been extremely lucky to have even one, but she is hella amazing, a fucking hardcore human. She is a strong advocate for pro-life, and I am too, to an extent (but that's a topic for another discussion) so she doesn't understand me at all. So, it got me thinking about all the other people out there that are in the same boat as her and as my final act, I want to be able to save a few people. It may just be an unachievable pipe dream, but I want to save a piece of my liver for her to use once a surgeon figures out how to do a transplant safely or if the treatment starts fucking working. I want to be able to donate as much as possible: heart, lungs, pancreas, intestines, kidneys, eyes, skin, anything I can possibly give. I won't be needing any of it so why not give it all up? Save for a few useless organs.

I have been researching a way to cause death without any major internal problems...but that is utterly impossible. FUCK! The only option I seem to have left, at least if I want to keep my organs viable, is to use a method known to work fast and time it right. I thought about drowning in a bathtub after reading about people who have almost drowned and said it was peaceful and calming, but that would be difficult to time. Hard no. I thought about running my car into something again, it would be easy to make it look like an accident but the first time didn't really do any killer damage so that's a no-go. I thought about using the whole exit bag thing but that would also be difficult to time correctly so again no can do. Shotgun would be too swift, no. OD'ing is not reliable, although it would probably be easier but would have a higher percentage of not working and I don't think I could swallow hundreds of pills again so mmmhhhh probably not. Any kind of poisoning is too risky since I need functioning organs to do a transplant.

The only way I've found that could actually work is slitting wrists but it has to be from elbow up and not too far to severe the nerves in my hands. There is a lot of info on how long it takes for blood to flow out of the body, how much you'd have to lose to still be alive when help arrives, where in the arm is best to cut to keep everything functioning if it fails. Of course it'll be fucking painful, but being alive is so much worse so I think I could handle it. If not, I still have a few opiates left to help dull the pain.

**As for the medical journals, I can't find the exact ones but here are a few of the archives I've used:

National Center for Biotechnology Information

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

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Honestly, I can't vouch for the validity of any of it either. Sure I've taken anatomy classes and read some of "Grey's Anatomy" on the particular areas and medical journals on the subject but I have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about, maybe none of it is even remotely true. Who really knows? Medical professonals probably don't even now the correct timing. But alas, I'm just grasping at straws at this point since I can't think of another method that would work how I want it to. Hell, this might not work either but I might as well try one last time right? And it wouldn't be a simple cut, it'd be fairly deep starting from the inside part of my elbow down to my hand. A simple cut wouldn't do shit.

I am planning on calling before starting and giving verbal directions for the operator to relay to the paramedics for when they arrive but since most people haven't learned the art of listening, I'll leave some written directions along with my directives and living will next to my body. I had it as DNR unless for organ procurement so you're definitely right, I'll have to make some adjustments to achieve what I am planning and not have any misunderstandings. Can't you sue if they go against your written wishes? Or does that not count for suicide cases?



Yeah, I'm definitely using a hotel, I had to do it at home last time and my husband found me and now suffers from intense PTSD. I found one with a low rating so finding a dead body shouldn't strain their revenue. As for the person who finds me, I know I'm going to cause them incredible pain for the rest of their life and I would never wish that kind of suffering on anyone but it is for the greater good so I'd hope they'd learn to understand my side. I've even written a letter apologizing for causing them this pain and making sure they understand it is not their fault and they couldn't do anything for me plus a huge tip. I didn't know they had a service like this! I'll probably use it or something similar for sending out my letters, thank you!

The very few cases that I found involved damage to the head resulting in brain death. The majority of cases were failures and the bodies ended in autopsy for investigations and no organs were donated. I still don't know the reasoning behind your method. You seem to be confused and having some difficulty expressing your thoughts but that's completely understandable, I'm having some difficulty when reading and writing as well.

You mentioned your profound desire to save your mother, how much you love her and the fact that she doesn't understand your decision. With this in mind, maybe you didn't consider the possibility of she not wanting to live after your death?

There are other ways to save lives that don't involve donating organs, like donating blood to hospitals, money to institutions who help people in dire conditions, medical equipment to hospitals facing difficulties in this pandemic, etc. Even crafting and donating masks can, indirectly, save several lives, potentially more than you would ever be able to save by donating organs.

It's easy for me to say all this, since I don't feel what you feel, since I didn't live through what you lived. I can only read what you write and it seems to me that you're seeking a very painful and unreliable path for no apparent reason. Sorry if I'm not understanding you well.

I wish you find peace

 

[heavyglow]

Brave, no. Desperate, yes. Not desperate enough to make impulsive decisions though, every one of my attempts were carefully thoughtout. Ran my car into a tree hoping to sustain maximum injuries and be unable to save, no such luck. OD'ed on a menagerie of drugs, mainly sleeping pills and a few opiates and muscle relaxors, still kicking. I'm running out of options... at least for a death where I can save my organs. This one seems the most plausible, albeit painful.


Maybe it depends on the location, but I've found plenty of medical journals that stated otherwise (at least for the no accepting organs after suicide). As for timing: if a regular human had 4 to 6 liters of blood and to be considered past the point of no return I'd have to lose 40-60 % of my total volume (at least before the paramedics arrive) which in ulnar or radial artery exsanguinations can take up to 2 minutes, maybe a schmee bit longer. Veins would be easier to cut but it would probably take longer to lose the same amount of blood. I think I'd have plenty of time for either option to work if I called before hand since after 10 or 15 seconds I'd pass out, but I'd probably also need to know how quickly someone would arrive. It would probably be easier to time than any other method that I've thought of. Maybe since I was never lucky in life I'll be lucky in death and be that 1 in a million. Who knows...at this point I'm just incoherently babbling. Sorry.


Thank you for showing me this, it was very informative.

Organs are accepted from suicide people. The problem is that you have to achieve brain death for example via asphyxia or any kind of brain injury. The brain needs to be damaged so much that it fulfills brain death, if you are not the chances are high for you to be just highly disabled.


if you choose the exsanguination, it will definitely take more than 2 minutes don't forget that your blood pressure will get low and less blood will flood out. Exsanguination using veins is practically impossible. Further: blood loss leads to hypovolemic shock and will harm your organs so it can happen that your organs are not in the state to be used for donation.

 

[OnlyHalfaGiraffe]

Organs are accepted from suicide people. The problem is that you have to achieve brain death for example via asphyxia or any kind of brain injury. The brain needs to be damaged so much that it fulfills brain death, if you are not the chances are high for you to be just highly disabled.


if you choose the exsanguination, it will definitely take more than 2 minutes don't forget that your blood pressure will get low and less blood will flood out. Exsanguination using veins is practically impossible. Further: blood loss leads to hypovolemic shock and will harm your organs so it can happen that your organs are not in the state to be used for donation.

I didn't think about the whole blood pressure thing, or hypovolemic shock. Damn.

 

[laserfocus111]

En serio?! Even if I didn't ingest anything to CTB??? That ain't cool yo. Damn, this isn't going to workout like I want, is it? After all this time spent researching and plotting, I wanted to try to save my organs...at least for my mom's sake. But even in death I can't do anything right. I was planning on doing it this month and already have everything set up so I don't think I'll change my method. But I think I will forget about trying to save my organs.

Thank you to all of you who have commented on my post <3
I am grateful to have your input. It has helped me


Me too, friend. Me too.

In most legal systems in the commonwealth a coroners inquiry is held for any death occurring under suspicious circumstances.. That's as much as I know

 

[FriendofDeath]

I have read a number of accounts regarding organ donation after suicide. They were not in any kind of journal - they were written by parents who lost their children to suicide. I remember heart valves and probably corneas were most often saved. I'll go back and see if there's any other info. The other thing I always think about is that Will Smith movie, where he's drunk (I think), kills his wife or girlfriend and then pays penance by helping others like donating his eyes and even his heart. I know it's a film and is probably totally unrealistic. I can't even remember the title. I'll be back after I do some more reading.

 

[Sisifo20]

I am torn between wanting to do a good deed after all the pain and suffering I have cause by donating my organs (plus my mom will need a liver transplant after her cancer treatments so I plan on giving a piece of mine...hopefully since it is in my living will and advanced directives they are legally bound to save a sliver for her), but that would mean I would have to do it somewhere I could be easily found instead of a hotel or abandoned area like I originally planned. Or I'd have to call the paramedics myself so they'll keep me alive long enough for my organs to remain viable. But do I really want to risk the chance of being discovered too early or calling for help too soon and failing? Anyone in the same boat?

EXACTLY that's on my mind. I need to know how to let my brain without oxigen so it will so damage that i will have brain death, its the dream, paramedics could find me restart my heart and ventilation but i will be longo gone, and the people who are fighting to stay, will may have the chance

 

[Blue Portal]

I am torn between wanting to do a good deed after all the pain and suffering I have cause by donating my organs (plus my mom will need a liver transplant after her cancer treatments so I plan on giving a piece of mine...hopefully since it is in my living will and advanced directives they are legally bound to save a sliver for her), but that would mean I would have to do it somewhere I could be easily found instead of a hotel or abandoned area like I originally planned. Or I'd have to call the paramedics myself so they'll keep me alive long enough for my organs to remain viable. But do I really want to risk the chance of being discovered too early or calling for help too soon and failing? Anyone in the same boat?

I believe my organs contain the life force energy chi so hell no I'm not donating my organs.

 

[FriendofDeath]

Here's what I found from a group that lost family members to suicide and considered organ donation. A few who hanged and a few gunshot to the head were either still alive when found or were resusitated. After being determined to be brain dead, they were able to donate organs. Other donations, for those who died, included eyes, skin, bones, valves and tendons. In one case, the young man called the hospital, shot himself in the parking lot and they were still too late for his organs.

OnlyHalfaGiraffe, I understand wanting to help. I hope you are able to find a way. I'm so sorry about your pain. Sending light and love!

 

[Weightoftheworld]

I understand this feeling, it's one reason I'm lingering. I'm a registered organ donor. I'd like to do one last good thing when I go. Although I don't want to be here, there are so many people that do that can't live life to fullest and with parts of me maybe they could at least live better and longer.
Seven Pounds is a movie similar to this.

 

[FriendofDeath]

I understand this feeling, it's one reason I'm lingering. I'm a registered organ donor. I'd like to do one last good thing when I go. Although I don't want to be here, there are so many people that do that can't live life to fullest and with parts of me maybe they could at least live better and longer.
Seven Pounds is a movie similar to this.

That's the Will Smith movie I was trying to think of. Thank you!

 

[Suez]

I am torn between wanting to do a good deed after all the pain and suffering I have cause by donating my organs (plus my mom will need a liver transplant after her cancer treatments so I plan on giving a piece of mine...hopefully since it is in my living will and advanced directives they are legally bound to save a sliver for her), but that would mean I would have to do it somewhere I could be easily found instead of a hotel or abandoned area like I originally planned. Or I'd have to call the paramedics myself so they'll keep me alive long enough for my organs to remain viable. But do I really want to risk the chance of being discovered too early or calling for help too soon and failing? Anyone in the same boat?

Hi, I thought you may like to know that thousands of organs are donated every year following suicides. You may even been surprised to know that acceptance criteria by transplant centers have expanded to consider those who have died due to drug intoxication. There have been several Renal transplants performed from overdose donors. Someone I went to Medical School with did a Renal transplant from a non-heart beating paracetamol overdose donor. So you may want to do some more investigations elsewhere before giving up. Many people just like you who are considering suicide are organ donors. In one of the articles I pasted in below, the young man shot himself in the head in addition to a drug overdose and he was still a viable multi organ donor. Hope this helps.

Multiple Organ Transplantation after Suicide by Acetaminophen and Gunshot Wound

Emergency physicians (EP) and medical toxicologists are integral in identifying and treating patients with overdoses. Transplant centers are expanding acceptance criteria to consider those with poison-related deaths. We present a case of a simultaneous ...

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Renal transplantation from non-heart beating donors: a promising alternative to enlarge the donor pool - PubMed

The aim of this study was to compare the survival and midterm function of kidneys from non-heart beating donors (NHBD) with those of kidneys from heart beating donors (HBD). From 1989 to 1998, 144 kidneys were procured from NHBD at the Hospital Clínico San Carlos in Madrid, of which 95 were...

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov