Discussion Does Tinder work for average looking men?

[nigelhernandez]

I'm a 21yr old man and had a tinder account for 6 months but closed it cause I got few to no responses. The only ones I did, I'm pretty sure were bots

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

What were your pictures like? Did they express your personality?

 

[Brick In The Wall]

There are plenty of Tinder experiments on Reddit and lookism communities. I think the overwhelming response has been no it doesn't work. Even for above average looking men.

Don't let it stop you from trying though. It's like playing the lottery, you can't win if you don't have a ticket.

 

[Grey-zone]

You could try Bumble. I thought that was supposed to be a dating app where women send the messages and men receive... Online dating is the most straightforward way, but probably doesn't work for 50% or more of men. Trying social events, Meetups, hobby groups would probably be more productive.

 

[nigelhernandez]

You could try Bumble. I thought that was supposed to be a dating app where women send the messages and men receive... Online dating is the most straightforward way, but probably doesn't work for 50% or more of men. Trying social events, Meetups, hobby groups would probably be more productive.

Lol...same story dude..I've been using Bumble and Tinder for quite a while now.

 

[Grey-zone]

I see. Bumble's the same... I doubt most of us here would be the best people to ask for dating advice. I think getting to know others (non-dating) forums or on social media would be more helpful, or having a job where you meet people. It seems to me like most sexual/romantic success is chance, or at least a lot of it. The more people of the opposite sex you know casually the more the probability goes up.

 

[nigelhernandez]

I see. Bumble's the same... I doubt most of us here would be the best people to ask for dating advice. I think getting to know others (non-dating) forums or on social media would be more helpful, or having a job where you meet people. It seems to me like most sexual/romantic success is chance, or at least a lot of it. The more people of the opposite sex you know casually the more the probability goes up.

Anyway I suppose I'm just venting. To be honest, I think most things in the dating world are pre-determined by appearance, and intelligence both of which you can't control.

 

[oneess]

Hmm, I'm 22 and I think(that's what people say so I don't deny it) that I'm average looking, tinder never worked for me as well. I've downloaded OkCupid like half a year ago and I don't know what the difference is, because my profile is pretty much like the one I had on tinder, but I have tenfold time the matches, and people(men and women alike) are interesting and stunning. Would suggest you to try it as well :)

 

[mediocre]

It seems you have to be an Instagram model to use these sites and apps. Think about it have you ever seen an average or ugly person in their advertisements? I regularly see this ad on tv in the U.K and Ireland. This woman is like in the top .01% looks wise. And what's funny is they are trying to market a site to millions of average or below average looking adults who don't look or talk like that.

 

[waterbottleman]

I've never tried Tinder but from what I've heard it's a huge struggle as an average looking guy to get any dates/attention.

I could be wrong, but I think the problem with Tinder is that too many guys "swipe right" (I think that's what you do) on virtually all women so almost all women end up being flooded with a ton of choices and are overwhelmed. Everyone only has so much time during the day and women can't spend a ton of time each day filter through/investigating very single profile of a guy. So they just end up focusing on the attractive guys who stand out from the crowd and take it from there.

This could only be a Tinder thing though. I've heard mixed opinions about other dating apps/websites.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I'm a woman. More attractive than average but not anywhere remotely close to spectacular, gorgeous, that woman in the video above. When I did dating sites, including Tinder, what I noticed in a profile and photos is looks, yes, and average is absolutely fine. I've never gone for hot guys, and in my whole life, only a couple have gone for me, and it was weird to me, because hot guys almost always go for hot women, unless they're looking for a quick lay or am emotional victim.

What I look for in profiles and irl is the personality. Do his eyes show a spark of something? Especially kindness, perceptiveness, and some fun. How does he present himself? Is he interested in things and people outside of himself? Does he drop hints that he's manipulative? Does he communicate well? (I'm a communicator, so it's important to me.) Does he seem comfortable with and accepting of himself? If he's not, my consistent experience is that he'll end up resenting me and becoming a jerk, because I like myself just fine, warts and all, and I can laugh at myself as well, but I don't cotton to someone knocking me down so he can feel bigger.

Hope this may have helped the OP and other guys who read this thread.

 

[TAW122]

The simple answer is no.

It only works for physically attractive and wealthy men (well way above average men that is - which most of us, including myself do not fit into said criteria). While I haven't used the app before, I have known people who used it and contrary to what others have said to me (especially those who are in favor of the app/dating apps in general), I know it just doesn't work.

As an Asian American male in the West and also someone who is shy and socially inept by nature (also due to Aspergers, part of the autism spectrum disorder), it certainly would have been a total disaster, time waste, and absolute suicide fuel had I gone through with it, I may even hate myself even more if I did. Thankfully, I dodged a bullet (metaphorically speaking). This is one of the major reasons why I decided to hell with dating apps and just casual dating in general because I knew my looks and what I have won't really result in success (again I disagree with the people's cliche advices and platitudes - most oftenly idealistic and unrealistic, advice such as be yourself, just be quirky, it's your personality, you need to be more confident, etc. - all bullshit to most people unless they are really physically attractive. But I digress..)

So instead, I went to countries where paying for sex is legal (Germany, Netherlands, for example) in order to lose my virginity and personally, I still believe it is still cheaper (in the long run) for me to do that than to waste countless hours, days, weeks, or months on dates that get no where, getting ghosted, wasting money on drinks and food, getting disappointed, etc. Personally, I have no regrets of doing things the way I did them because I (genuinely) believed and understood that that was my best odds in terms of obtaining what I want. Mind you though, I went in with the mindset that I am only going for the lay (intercourse) rather than a relationship. Of course, if you are looking for a relationship, then that's a different story (while GFE can simulate some aspects of it, it is not the same as a casual, genuine relationship), but in my story and case, I wasn't; I merely wanted to lose my virginity and experience intercourse in my life (more out of curiosity).

This isn't to tell you that you shouldn't try your luck, but you should know what you are doing and the costs/benefits (time and money or both) of pursuing this.

 

[terry_a_davis]

Only did online dating once and it was a letdown, i've met partners through hanging out with friends and in bars / nightclubs. I think the latter is a bit old fashioned now (?) and it requires friends.

 

[lizinha]

Yes they will. But I guess it's harder to assume because how dating is potrayed nowadays but alot of women don't have extremely high standards. Average is and will be good enough

 

[Bärchen]

No. Just look on youtube for tinder experiment by the channel ItsAGundam, its hilarious.
Better join a gym and start lifting weights with a bit cardio, when the corona stuff is gone. You will probably have more success.

 

[Genetics]

If you're a farmer or can pass as a farmer you can try farmersonly dot com site!

 

[puppy9]

No. Just look on youtube for tinder experiment by the channel ItsAGundam, its hilarious.
Better join a gym and start lifting weights with a bit cardio, when the corona stuff is gone. You will probably have more success.

Date me Baby Bear!!!!

 

[Genetics]

Date me Baby Bear!!!!

Do we have a love connection??? <3 <3

 

[Grey-zone]

Yes they will. But I guess it's harder to assume because how dating is potrayed nowadays but alot of women don't have extremely high standards. Average is and will be good enough

A lot of men, physically at least, don't really put any effort into their appearance, at least in the US. So, if you have a nice and relatively confident personality, and look like you put some effort into how you look, you should do fine as a man. An average guy really can do well enough, as I've seen many times--some of the hotter women I've seen online and off (my type at least), are often paired with average looking dudes. A lot of that is just chance, of course, what social circle you're in, who you know, and shared interests. But there's an entire industry out there to convince men otherwise. So don't feel hopeless. It should be stated that having high standards and expectations, male or female, will rarely help either. This also applies to friendship.

 

[LuzurPhagget]

I actually bought Tinder Gold (I know, ridiculous. Sue me. But it was 50% off for a month!) and you can actually see who's liked you. I've been liked by a couple women, but when I've "liked them back" and we've matched and I've sent an intro, I don't even get a response. Wtf. Why in blimey fuck would they even have the app?

I dunno, I'm at an awkward age in my life. I've missed out on hooking up with the beautiful, young, care-free, fun gorgeous creatures in my early 20s because I was a miserable shit. Now I'm an even older miserable shit and can only "match" with equally socially-immature, boring fucktards who ghost me or mean, miserable behemoths of women who are seemingly out for blood. Sorry to be so crass.

 

[LoNatural]

 

[262653]

It seems you have to be an Instagram model to use these sites and apps. Think about it have you ever seen an average or ugly person in their advertisements? I regularly see this ad on tv in the U.K and Ireland. This woman is like in the top .01% looks wise. And what's funny is they are trying to market a site to millions of average or below average looking adults who don't look or talk like that.

Lul, I wonder what's their target audience. And what did these advertisers think about their clientele.

Does Tinder work for average looking men?

I didn't see it being mentioned (maybe I didn't look good enough), but work for what purpose? Just getting laid, I take it?

 

[FusRohDracarys]

No. Tinder released some stats and they found that something like the top most attractive 80% of women will only pursue the top most attractive 20% of men and will rate a man of average attractiveness as perceived as below average. So if you're in the bottom 80% of men, you're competing for the bottom 20% of women.

I never liked Tinder myself, but OKcupid is better. By how much will depend on where you live, I guess, since small towns have a smaller dating pool in general, but a good word of advice is to look for someone who has put a lot of effort into their profile. Don't worry too much about the questions. I think some people just enjoy answering them. But look for an actual written profile. Another reason why tinder kind of sucks--the limited profile means most people are judging based on the pictures instead.

 

[qwerty32]

I've tried Tinder, okcupid and other apps. You need really good pics of yourself even if you write a lot of stuff on your profile. I've met some people in person on another app but nothing much. Right now I'm mentally given up on dating apps.

 

[Final Escape]

No lol! Unless you are rich.

 

[21Neberg]

Seems to be a lot of negative stuff on this thread. That's totally contrary to my experience. I am a young white male and I consider myself to definitely be below average in terms of looks. Or as I like to put it: I'm fucking ugly lol.
Yet my tinder experience has been rather good. I initially installed it as a joke - some friends had it and I thought I'd try to join in. So really all I did was make jokes - never took it seriously one bit. But through it all I was able to get some dates setup and I found my current girlfriend through tinder.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that while looks do play a part obviously, personality is also important.
Just trying to get some positivity in here

 

[Final Escape]

Seems to be a lot of negative stuff on this thread. That's totally contrary to my experience. I am a young white male and I consider myself to definitely be below average in terms of looks. Or as I like to put it: I'm fucking ugly lol.
Yet my tinder experience has been rather good. I initially installed it as a joke - some friends had it and I thought I'd try to join in. So really all I did was make jokes - never took it seriously one bit. But through it all I was able to get some dates setup and I found my current girlfriend through tinder.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that while looks do play a part obviously, personality is also important.
Just trying to get some positivity in here

That's great

 

[nigelhernandez]

Seems to be a lot of negative stuff on this thread. That's totally contrary to my experience. I am a young white male and I consider myself to definitely be below average in terms of looks. Or as I like to put it: I'm fucking ugly lol.
Yet my tinder experience has been rather good. I initially installed it as a joke - some friends had it and I thought I'd try to join in. So really all I did was make jokes - never took it seriously one bit. But through it all I was able to get some dates setup and I found my current girlfriend through tinder.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that while looks do play a part obviously, personality is also important.
Just trying to get some positivity in here

I'm black so I'm not sure how things will go.

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

I look like an ISIS terrorist. Let's get it out there, good looking is not my forte.
With that out of the way, my experience with Tinder was better than expected, even though I'm selective as fuck when it comes to faces.
I think part of the so-called secret is to not jump in thinking you're going to get a wife out of there. Let's actually reduce the expected result to a date.
It's kind of like going to the shoddy, very shady bar at the edge of the city where mostly prostitutes and druggies hang out.
I've also noticed some trends, at least in the country I live in:

• "I'm looking for a serious relationship", or a variation of it - absolute slut, potential druggie, scummiest of human scum. Approach carefully. She might actually be a good person, the idea that "looking for serious relationship" is 100% asshole is not guaranteed, but still, thread carefully.
• a marijuana leaf in the name - stay THE FUCK away. Druggie. Looking for a... uh... smoke buddy? I mean, "smoke buddy" could, in fact, be a thing. If it was the 90's - 00's, I'd maybe approach because weed was weaker. Now it just gets you into this half-dead state which is severely unpleasant.
• all slots of pics are filled, no evening dress shown - nice person to hang out with.
• all slots of pics are filled, at least one evening dress, wears only flats - nice person to hang out with, likes to party casually.
• all slots of pics filled, at least two evening dresses, wears high heels - nice person to hang out with, drinks casually.
• all slots of pics, no evening dress, wears high heels - Russian level of alcohol tolerance, possible (though not guaranteed) alcoholic. Very expensive dates, but very rewarding.
• has an instagram attached - STAY THE FUCK AWAY! Attention seeking queen.
• girl next door porn actress look - HUNT WITH VENGEANCE! Potential wife material.

Again, this profiling fits only the country I live in, YMMV. I went on several "dates" but chickened out in the middle because of seizures and social anxiety.
The profiling is based 90% chat, 10% actual dates (roughly estimated).
I feel I should also add that I did not expect first date sex and the idea did not occur.
In fact, the idea of DTF disgusts me.

 

[Vanity]

Only if this is what you mean by Avarage