Discussion Does Tinder work for average looking men?

[Marchioness]

I read an article somewhere if you want the women to come to you online you have to use the sugar daddy sites. Seeking Arrangements . Com

It urks me to say it but I've been thinking about joining there to get money for rent, food and student loans. The world doesn't care for women with brains, it's been hard to find a job that won't possibly make me sick with the virus.
If you want to meet women for an actual relationship it's better to go out to places that you'd have similar interest with a gal. Most women I talk to about online dating are scared of it. I hated trying an online profile, all I ever got were horny messages asking to f*ck. Nobody wanted to know me as a person.
Also does no one ever look on YouTube? there's different resources there about how to understand male and female dating. I watch the suggestion videos for both to understand both sides. One to check out is The Dating Guy and his friend The Love Chat. They give advice free. The rest you have to sift through a lot of the people who are there to just get a lot of money out of you but there's good info there. I wouldn't use it as the only resource, a therapist is good too to talk with. I've spent $800+ on dating guides *cry* I know who to gives out scam info and who gives out better into.

 

[Reiraku]

There were extensive experiments and studies that clearly showed that you won't have any success on Tinder as a male until you are at the top 10% of attractiveness.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Tinder is obviously sexual selection reduced purely to looks. Don't listen to people here who try to blue pill you.

As an average dude, better stick to traditional means.

What were your pictures like? Did they express your personality?

Don't listen to this. Listen to evolutionary biologists maybe, or social scientists, or common sense.

Looks and status redeem every bad personality trait in males. This dude



couls be the most boring asshole that ever lived and will win. He is a well formed male with good genetics. That's what it's about in sexual selection.

Don't make the game harder for yourself is what I'm trying to say – we don't know how you look objectively since we only have your self report, which can be very unreliable.

There are plenty of Tinder experiments on Reddit and lookism communities. I think the overwhelming response has been no it doesn't work. Even for above average looking men.

Don't let it stop you from trying though. It's like playing the lottery, you can't win if you don't have a ticket.

I have a good looking friend who had sex with three different women /week through tinder alone. He showed me the chats: he could talk to them in any which manner he liked. They were very upfront and escalated the conversation sexually. This would simply be impossible for me.

I am a biological realist. Of course I find it unfortunate – but then again, I also find it unfortunate that I wasn't born with an IQ of 150 or a height of 6ft plus or very wealthy parents. It's a fact I have to cope with and I won't delude myself by telling myself Santa Claus stories.

 

[Notabadguy]

You have to aim to women at your level, whatever it is.

 

[Arrow]

Only if this is what you mean by Avarage
View attachment 32084

basically this

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Don't listen to this. Listen to evolutionary biologists maybe, or social scientists, or common sense.

Don't listen to @a.n.kirillov saying to not listen to me!

If you take both of us at our words, he has a penis, and I have a vagina. The OP is presumably seeking to date women who possess vaginas. Not only do I have a vagina, I have a lot of experience with being a woman, and even experience with online dating, including Tinder. Personality is hugely important to me. I want to be friends and laugh with someone as much as I want them to be reliable, ethical, a decent person, and in some way physically attractive to me.

Common sense would dictate that you ask those you seek to attract how to attract them, along with considering the perspectives of evolutionary scientists, biologists, and sociologists if you so choose.

If you seek to attract a woman who is attracted to the douchebag in the photo @a.n.kirillov shared, is she the kind of woman you're seeking? Did she seek what he's selling, or what you're selling? Is she shopping for apples or oranges? If he's an apple and you're an orange, you're not on the radar.

If you seek a woman with certain values and traits, ask representative women what attracts them. Ask several women. Most of us love to be asked what we think, want, and experience....rather than having it mansplained for us (sorry, @a.n.kirillov, but also not sorry). Do some DIY social science, and ask questions of and observe females. You might even get a date out of it, but I suggest that be a bonus, not the goal.

I learned so much about guy behavior when I went to bars to observe rather than attract. Alpha behaviors, competition, salesmanship...there was so much information for the taking. Human behavior is fascinating and hilarious.

Most importantly, the last person I'm going to ask about how to attract the man I want is a frustrated woman. Go to the source, dude.

 

[SuiSqueeze92]

Ever seen "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell"?? Not wanting to offend anyone, but you could go with the main characters approach is what I'll say lol. That movie/book is hilarious btw.

Just try making conversation and a friend as the goal and the rest will follow.



Here he gets what he "deserves" for being a dickhead to women.

Oh and sites/apps like Tinder, OkCupid, POF.. the simplified dating ones hold a stigma of "guys just want sex here" and also jokes/memes. Try a more "adult" one and see if that works? I'd say give Match a shot.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

@GoodPersonEffed

Common sense would dictate that you ask those you seek to attract how to attract them

Okay, I concede – common sense is not necessarily reliable.

If you seek to attract a woman who is attracted to the douchebag

Is this your owb frustration speaking? *wink* ... how do you know he is a douchebag? isn't that pretty superficial? Or do you have the infamous female sixth sense?

Do some DIY social science, and ask questions

And also get a psychology degree beforehand, to accurately judge the reliability of self-reports on such issues.

I learned so much about guy behavior when I went to bars to observe rather than attract. Alpha behaviors, competition, salesmanship...there was so much information for the taking. Human behavior is fascinating and hilarious.

Exactly, GoodPersonEffed! :-) ... see? we are both empirically minded people.

Here is a good video on sexual selection in humans:


Listen closely from @2:35 until the end. To paraphrase, women find males with less pronounced secondary sexual characteristics more "likeable", "honest" and "trustworthy" – aka classic nice guy characteristics – but l e s s attractive. As GoodPersonEffed suggested, go out and observe for yourself :-)

 

[Lefty]

I've never tried Tinder, but I'm sure it probably wouldn't work for me. I've had some success with OkCupid. I've tried fetlife, but fetlife is also meh.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

@a.n.kirillov, the model might not be a douchebag, he could have body dysmorphia and social anxiety. It's what's being sold that I have no interest in buying. He is a model, or is modeling, but in general, including on dating profiles, I can read a lot about a person from photos and written profiles, I can read a lot in their eyes and posture, I pick up on tons of physical and written microsignals. That guy is wearing a mask, he's not as confident as he projects, and I would steer clear of him because he's not open and I have no curiosity about what mysteries he's hiding or the lures he's casting; women get sucked into that all the time, and it doesn't end in contented relationships. I know I speak authoritatively, I'm sure there are things one could pick apart, I'm sure I could refine my position, but for me it's pretty solid and serves me well.

I am intuitive, and agree I am also empirical. I am multi-disciplinary, in fact; that was my last field of study and I loved it.

 

[SpareWheel]

POF might be a better bet for you. Tinder is pretty much all looks based, POF will still have those that look for a pretty pic, but a decent (witty) profile should get you some attention.

Statistically, more people are average looking than not, and they can't all be ignored or these sites wouldn't work. To me Tinder seems more hook up based, POF and others seem more relationship orientated.

 

[Throwawaysoul]

Why not scrape the bottom of the barrel and join POF? Don't you want a self proclaimed country girl who enjoys muddin and lifted trucks, with "5 kids that come first." and "Not here for games!"

 

[mathieu]

I get a lot of matches and I'm below average looking, but I'm gay so it may be different if you're looking for women idk