I was considering going with SN on Friday. I've been putting it off a long time, primarily because my mom has control over my benzos and the measly one she dishes out a night does nothing to ease anxiety/SI etc. However, I've managed to stockpile 8x5mg Valium and thought maybe I should CTB before I end up wasting them all on sleep. Friday is also her day off work, which means she's likely to be out, and we also have people come to clean the house, which would create a lot of noise/distraction.
My physical state is failing me and I'm becoming extremely weak, so organizing this is a bit difficult, since it would all have to be attempted from bed (and I barely have the strength to life my arms at times lately). My bedtime is about 5am (I eat a meal before bed) and so by default I would have fasted 6/7 hours by midday (this is the only time I have the energy to fast).
I have the anti-emetics and acid reducer on my bedside table and the SN in my drawer. I figured that, to save myself energy, I could prepare two glasses of water with the appropriate amount of liquid measured out before bed and leave them there. Take some Valium (maybe 20mg) and relax/sleep until about 11am. Then at midday take the anti-emetics, plus maybe the rest of the Valium. Then all I'd have to do is reach over and dump a tablespoon of SN into the water that's already measured out. If my mom was going to come check me to get up, it would only be by about 4pm, so that's like 3 hours.
I realize my health condition/living situation complicates things a lot, but I'm getting pretty desperate and this is the best I can come up with. Failure would be a disaster because my parents despise me/control my entire existence, and I do worry about vomiting in my weakened physical state (though it could also work to my advantage).
Any feedback?
My physical state is failing me and I'm becoming extremely weak, so organizing this is a bit difficult, since it would all have to be attempted from bed (and I barely have the strength to life my arms at times lately). My bedtime is about 5am (I eat a meal before bed) and so by default I would have fasted 6/7 hours by midday (this is the only time I have the energy to fast).
I have the anti-emetics and acid reducer on my bedside table and the SN in my drawer. I figured that, to save myself energy, I could prepare two glasses of water with the appropriate amount of liquid measured out before bed and leave them there. Take some Valium (maybe 20mg) and relax/sleep until about 11am. Then at midday take the anti-emetics, plus maybe the rest of the Valium. Then all I'd have to do is reach over and dump a tablespoon of SN into the water that's already measured out. If my mom was going to come check me to get up, it would only be by about 4pm, so that's like 3 hours.
I realize my health condition/living situation complicates things a lot, but I'm getting pretty desperate and this is the best I can come up with. Failure would be a disaster because my parents despise me/control my entire existence, and I do worry about vomiting in my weakened physical state (though it could also work to my advantage).
Any feedback?
