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White_Room293
rapid cycling gay guy
- Sep 13, 2019
- 155
If you experience bad things on a daily basis will that make you "stronger" as society says it will?
Not necessarily. It's an empty platitude for the most part, used to justify meaningless suffering.If you experience bad things on a daily basis will that make you "stronger" as society says it will?
Its not so much experiencing things as it is overcoming negative events.If you experience bad things on a daily basis will that make you "stronger" as society says it will?
I hate trying to use the emojis on my phone - I was trying to send you a hug as a like seems inappropriate. I'm sorry you have to be in therapy and still suffer.Hmm...how to answer this. Have the things I've gone through made me a stronger person? Does suffering make me somehow make me more accustomed to life? Of course "they" say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger but as others have mentioned, this is more of an empty platitude. It's sort of like those "Live, Laugh, Love" signs some people hang in their homes. Maybe the pain I've experienced, the trauma, made me more resilient up to a point, but I guess I'm ultimately succumbing to the darkness. Darkness is the only way I can describe it. I have PTSD, MDD and panic disorder - I'm at a point where I rarely leave my apartment (only if I absolutely have to, to either go to the bank to take out the rent money, or go to the doctors, or grab a few groceries). I spend most of my time in bed, which feels safe to me, and I feel myself slowly shutting down. I used to have, despite it all, an optimistic view of life and for people, but yeah...I also realize lately the wounds I've endured (multiple rapes, abuse, etc.) have left deep scars. Then, if I read what's going on in the world, the cheeto in chief, ugh - it solidifies and/or reinforces my thoughts I'd truly prefer to be dead. It's been enough for me already. I made it to 36, which still surprises me. I have no desire to continue on.
My therapist asked me the other day if I'm still having thoughts of suicide and I was like "yeah, but passively". Ha. No way I want to end up being sectioned, and I can see that on the horizon if I continue this decline without intervening myself, aka ending my life.
All this said, I don't believe life is suffering. Many, many of us do suffer and are in pain, being exploited, abused, and have no choice or chance. But no, this is not life as it's meant to be. The best memories I have are of being genuinely loved, accepted and encouraged. I'm grateful I got to experience that.
I hate trying to use the emojis on my phone - I was trying to send you a hug as a like seems inappropriate. I'm sorry you have to be in therapy and still suffer.
My story is very similar. I'm just very defiant at my core, and when I'm not beating myself up, I tend to focus on the shit people with mental health issues have to eat. And it depresses me.
I've been in therapy for about 21 years, most of them with a very abusive therapist who made me worse. And I have no recourse because I have a drug history, a lot of it's due to my underlying diagnosis and because of her.
And my psychiatrist is a total dick, but I NEED MY MEDS! So I listen to his medication advice and tune out his bullshit about me personally. My therapist knows me too well to lecture me. And he's the only thing that kept me from ending it yesterday. Partial.
No, my suffering hasn't made me stronger at all. My therapist says I'm the strongest person he knows, but neither one of us know why.
I wish I could say hang in there with your therapist, it's always darkest before the dawn, etc., yadda, yadda, yadda. But that shit's not for us.
Reallly? I've overcome a lot and I don't think it's done anything to make me stronger. In fact, it's made me weaker in some ways. Like I have a Master's degree, because I'm good at school, but I can't put it to use because I always get indignant by how people with similar disabilities as us get treated by people in power. Or people who get into the field because they want to "make a difference," but don't know The incredible balls it takes to help people with "invisible disabilities."Its not so much experiencing things as it is overcoming negative events.
WeReallly? I've overcome a lot and I don't think it's done anything to make me stronger. In fact, it's made me weaker in some ways. Like I have a Master's degree, because I'm good at school, but I can't put it to use because I always get indignant by how people with similar disabilities as us get treated by people in power. Or people who get into the field because they want to "make a difference," but don't know The incredible balls it takes to help people with "invisible disabilities."
How have you made lemonade from life's lemons? I turn everything into a rocket fueled mess of bipolar mania combined with BPD rage. It's insane, and the remorse and embarrassment from my actions is near impossible to get over. I would love to hear what works for you.
This is the recovery forum, so I'm very interested. Thanks.
Congestions on your Masters!Reallly? I've overcome a lot and I don't think it's done anything to make me stronger. In fact, it's made me weaker in some ways. Like I have a Master's degree, because I'm good at school, but I can't put it to use because I always get indignant by how people with similar disabilities as us get treated by people in power. Or people who get into the field because they want to "make a difference," but don't know The incredible balls it takes to help people with "invisible disabilities."
How have you made lemonade from life's lemons? I turn everything into a rocket fueled mess of bipolar mania combined with BPD rage. It's insane, and the remorse and embarrassment from my actions is near impossible to get over. I would love to hear what works for you.
This is the recovery forum, so I'm very interested. Thanks.