Discussion Does love even exist?

[Daniel123]

I believe there is nothing magical about it rather a different word for something we personally need for our own survival.

Let me elaborate what I mean by that -

I believe it's a made up concept or perhaps misunderstood by most what love would truly mean. True love would be an "unconditional" one, therefore to love someone just as they are.

If true love is something universal and is the law in the universe then everyone would love everybody because nobody would expect anything from anyone. But love we consume is more like loving someone for something they have you desire (whatever it may be) which ultimately make you happy then it means we don't love the actual "person" (consciousness) but the qualities someones have (but most if not all of those qualities are not directly picked by us, rather born with and shaped by the environment).

Thoughts?

 

[Apathy79]

I agree true love is unconditional love. It's an internal state. Whether it is reciprocated or not is irrelevant to that state. I think traditionally mothers understand it best - what they feel for their children if applied to everyone is what it is. It's the state Jesus taught to strive for, and very few people ever get there.

What the world calls love tends to be mingled with romance and attraction and is something you can win or lose. It usually turns to hate when it's no longer reciprocated and is exclusive to some people but not others. That seems to me to be a mistaken use of the term.

 

[Suicide_vampire]

I don't believe in love at all. I think what we believe is love, is actually 2 different things which we name love. The first is lust the initial stage of most relationships after a period of time lust morphs into habit, and you become so used to that person being in your life that it becomes a habit.
Pretty cynical I know, but am I really cynical or am I a realist.

 

[Eridanos]

I believe you are absolutely right.

There is a difference though between knowing the origin of an emotion and the detachment from it.

For example: everybody knows fear and stress are a biological reaction of your body for situation unfamiliar to us, this was likely use by our ancestors to increase the chances of their survival. Having said this it doesn't mean that you'll never feel fear or stress ever again, just that you know what causes it.

The same reasoning I think can be applied to love: as you said "love" is mainly an egoistic feeling, "is more like loving someone for something they have you desire" as you nicely said. Given this though it doesn't mean that what you personally feel should be invalidated or treated with suspicion as it weren't a real thing.
From the individual perspective they truly believe they are actually loving the other person.

Concluding: do I believe love actually exist? If you see it from the individual's perspective: yes, absolutely.
If you analyze the biological human it may not exist, but they may not exist a lot of other feelings too.
It's a matter of choosing which perspective you are more akin with and which in that moment is more "useful" to you.

 

[Mr2005]

It did

 

[Eternal Pessimist]

I think love exists but not in the way people would want it to exist. Love is just a mix of feelings between people, not some great external force that guides us. That doesn't mean that two people can't share a very deep bond with each other, but since it's just based on internal feelings that bond can change and even vanish entirely.

 

[Final Escape]

Yes, but unconditional love is only given by animals lol! Jus kiddin!

 

[terry_a_davis]

Yes

 

[Epsilon0]

I am not young enough to believe in love.

 

[RottenDeer]

I don't believe that real love exists in the way we see in movies or read in books. I rather believe in something like lifelong companionship and loyalty, not related to anything regarding intimacy.

 

[TAW122]

I don't believe real love exists, but feelings of love and lust, yes. As for unconditional love, one that is ingrained in one's kin, yes, that exists but takes a different form than what most people see as "love". I suppose it just depends on the context and how it's defined.

 

[departing]

Love exists. I've experienced true love. But I haven't experienced it in years and I've lost hope that I'll ever see it again.

 

[crazy1]

No, although I do love my dog and cat if that counts

 

[Worthless loser]

Women will never be able to love men the way men want to be loved.

 

[waterbottleman]

I think love exists I just think it's not the fairy tale a lot of us wish it were and how it is depicted in fiction.

 

[Remember to forget]

Women will never be able to love men the way men want to be loved.

Would you be able to explain what you mean?

 

[Final Escape]

Women will never be able to love men the way men want to be loved.

I read somewhere women can't really love men. It kind of freaked me out. It might be more because evolutionarily we have always been dependent on men so if one man dies or can't provide we immediately had to find another one and most women did have kids regardless of wether u wanted to or not. So women had been loyal more out of obligation vs actual love. But men have their advantages as well, they don't have to carry the pregnancy, they can take more risks, they can separate emotions out of a sexual encounter much easier than a woman. They can have kids much longer and gain value as they mature into their 30's and 40's, whereas women age faster and we have to get things right a lot earlier especially in relationships and finding someone to have kids with or we miss out entirely.

 

[BabyYoda]

I really wish I didn't believe in love at all. I would rather live in a world filled with 100% destruction with no love at all than live in this world where I have to tear myself apart just to find this shit called "love". Fuck this world and fuck our need to have human connections.

Nowadays I believe that love is a fucking privilege only meant for those who are lucky to have it. Either you're a perfect human being or someone who just got lucky to find a compassionate human being to help you. If I could just prove that love is the biggest scam that dumb humans fell for then I would.

Also, no offense to anyone, but it's difficult for me to believe that men can love a woman for a purpose OTHER than looks. It seems that those who love women for their "personality" are either lying to keep up an image for themselves or are just playing nice. There is a reason why eating disorders, diets, cosmetic surgeries, and makeup exist. It is because of this vile curse that nature put on the human race. This is why I am NOT worthy of being in this world, because I can't be loved for who I am even if I wanted to be. If I were born attractive then I wouldn't be feeling this way.

Natural selection exists for a purpose. I was made to commit suicide one day to complete my duty. I repeat: No man in this fucking existence has truly loved a woman for who she is. They aren't really capable of empathy either which adds to this whole problem. I have more guy friends than girl friends from school and I can say that none of them are truly interested in me (except for one, but he seems to like his best friend more than me ) mainly because I'm ugly and my personality is boring. Nothing else. I am a good person and they don't give a shit about it. This makes me resort to wearing revealing clothing and more makeup.

If love were something I could grasp then I would BURN it at the stake. Until the last bit of it. Then nobody would suffer anymore. Hate will thrive. Love should never have to exist anymore if that means pushing more inequality among humans. So what if after exiting my house all I hear are gunshots, riots, and murders? Better than not being loved the way I wanted to be loved!

(If anyone asks, I'm biologically female, but I do not feel like I should identify with any gender label. It doesn't feel right to me. My expression though is quite loud for my nonbinaryness.)

 

[BFishy]

I really wish I didn't believe in love at all. I would rather live in a world filled with 100% destruction with no love at all than live in this world where I have to tear myself apart just to find this shit called "love". Fuck this world and fuck our need to have human connections.

Nowadays I believe that love is a fucking privilege only meant for those who are lucky to have it. Either you're a perfect human being or someone who just got lucky to find a compassionate human being to help you. If I could just prove that love is the biggest scam that dumb humans fell for then I would.

Also, no offense to anyone, but it's difficult for me to believe that men can love a woman for a purpose OTHER than looks. It seems that those who love women for their "personality" are either lying to keep up an image for themselves or are just playing nice. There is a reason why eating disorders, diets, cosmetic surgeries, and makeup exist. It is because of this vile curse that nature put on the human race. This is why I am NOT worthy of being in this world, because I can't be loved for who I am even if I wanted to be. If I were born attractive then I wouldn't be feeling this way.

Natural selection exists for a purpose. I was made to commit suicide one day to complete my duty. I repeat: No man in this fucking existence has truly loved a woman for who she is. They aren't really capable of empathy either which adds to this whole problem. I have more guy friends than girl friends from school and I can say that none of them are truly interested in me (except for one, but he seems to like his best friend more than me ) mainly because I'm ugly and my personality is boring. Nothing else. I am a good person and they don't give a shit about it. This makes me resort to wearing revealing clothing and more makeup.

If love were something I could grasp then I would BURN it at the stake. Until the last bit of it. Then nobody would suffer anymore. Hate will thrive. Love should never have to exist anymore if that means pushing more inequality among humans. So what if after exiting my house all I hear are gunshots, riots, and murders? Better than not being loved the way I wanted to be loved!

(If anyone asks, I'm biologically female, but I do not feel like I should identify with any gender label. It doesn't feel right to me. My expression though is quite loud for my nonbinaryness.)

I am male and also struggle with this. I love hard and from the inside out also. I actually got soul searching and I questioned if anybody I have ever been with really loved me. I have been played and used and had my heart and feelings stepped on so much it's pathetic.
Without love I am nothing, therefore I am/would be better off dead and turn into physically nothing.
I used to think love existed but now see that it's a lie that was ingrained in me. Or at least love for me. It's like a meme I saw on the book. Good guys exist, we're just ugly.

 

[Epsilon0]

Love is a poison we are given to drink from the day we are born.

Open up! That's it... one more spoonful. Good girl!

To the bottom I drank that merciless poison, conscientiously, every day, for the longest time. And I received a pat on the back each time my lips were blue with the traces of poison.

 

[BFishy]

Love is a poison we are given to drink from the day we are born.

Open up! That's it... one more spoonful. Good girl!

To the bottom I drank that merciless poison, conscientiously, every day, for the longest time. And I received a pat on the back each time my lips were blue with the traces of poison.

Yes. I love you but only in a friendly way. Here help me move in with my girl/boyfriend.

 

[WornOutLife]

Well, I think there are different kinds of love.

For instance, it's not the same loving a partner than loving your parents, siblings or even your pet.

As for me, I've stopped believing in couples love because I've experienced it more than once and unfortunately, the magic sooner or later fades away. Maybe because of you, perhaps due to her/him.

However, I really love my dad and dog and they make me believe that LOVE really exists. They're just amazing and the reasons why I'm still in this world.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

True love is helping someone kill themselves without asking questions.

 

[luten]

my definition of love; when you feed a tiger cub, and then the cub ATTACKS you AFTER he FINISHED his milk, but you STILL love him.
This actually did happen

Anyway; what I am saying here, I am now more prepared to endure a lot of crap from women, by looking at the bigger picture. Dont worry too much about the little things, it will go by. Before, I got caught up by things that dont matter. You can lose someone when you not able to withstand some degree of nonsense. Be a gentlemen.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

If it doesn't exist, then there's truly nothing left for me to live for so I guess for my sake it shouldn't.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

For one, there are two types of love: frendship and romantic love.
The first one is about partnership. From one, become two.
The second one is the opposite. From two, become one.
The true love that you're speaking about is going back and forth from one to the other, seamlessly. No drama.

A lot of things must alling to make it happen and for some people it's more difficult to find (for various reasons).
But I believe it can happen. Why not?

We are very poor at picking up on the signals, that's the issue.
Going about your day in silence is the issue.
Some things are determined, but some chance is made. Nothing happens in silence, besides you calculating your chances.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I believe love exists. Even the romanticized "true love" does.
But there is of course nothing magical about it.

 

[StringPuppet]

Love, yes
Unconditional love, no

 

[TooConscious]

Cancer exists.