Venting Does lack of sex bother anyone

[genie]

I think lack of a relationship is worse than no sex. I've had two girlfriends and am not a virgin, but the relationship part was more important in my opinion. It's more the feeling of being wanted.

 

[Permanoir]

I'm not bothered now because I'm young, but I worry that as I grow older, being intersex and therefore being unable to have sex in the traditional way will become a source of distress.

 

[Forever Sleep]

No. I'm content with the one player version. I used to really want a partner. Went through a number of phases of limerence- crazy obsessive crushes on guys. So, it bothered me then. But now, I value being alone and I can sate my own needs pretty much.

 

[TrueSleepCell]

I'll admit I've never had sex, it's not so much the being a virgin that sucks but the loneliness and lack of having someone to give love and affection to.

 

[freakypossum]

Honestly sex is super overrated. I never understood how people connect it with a romantic relationship and stay in closed relationships. For me its a completely separate thing, just a primal instinct and a biological need. To be honest when I don't feel my body asking for it on a sober mind i find sex kinda disgusting.

 

[Ashu]

I haven't had sex for a couple years, and sometimes I feel sexually frustrated. But most of the time I'm fine. It's really not the greatest thing in the universe like some people idealize it as.

If they think it is, it is. There are no facts in such a matter.

 

[beseechgod]

My psychological relationship with the idea of sex has become such a horrible convoluted corrupted mess and what could have been a beautiful thing is something that only torments me. I think I was too obsessed with it for too long without actually experiencing it that it lead to some bad psychological damage and affected my life and now when I do have sex I can't even enjoy it.

 

[music]

no. the prerequisite of trusting someone that much is the part i'm missing. could take (lol) or leave that once i get close with someone depending on what they want but hugs aren't optional

 

[supergold#2]

honestly, no, not really.

i think i've come to some realization over the last year or two that i think i've always been, to some degree, asexual.
even back in my more hormone-driven youth, sex has always kinda been more stressful than it has been fun, and even when it's someone i've been fawning over, when it comes down to doing the deed, i get so worked up and hyperfocused on *literally every aspect of what i'm doing* that it just ends up being exhausting.

i haven't actively initiated the act, with literally ANYONE, in probs 3 years now? though that's not to say i haven't fucked anyone in that time; i've had partners and people have needs, which i get, so usually i just kinda play along until it's over, then get to enjoy the moments after, y'know?
i guess what i'm saying, is that i'm not necessarily opposed to sex, nor do i detest it altogether, i just don't really ever need it?

idk though, over the same extent of time, i've had 2 seperate *bad* experiences (if you catch my drift?), and i think that may play be a factor in my further seperation from it, to some extent.

idk, though, throughout the last year, i think i coul probs count on my fingers the amount of times i've taken care of my own business.
part of me just resigns it to getting older, and to some extent, an aspect of my current state of mental health

 

[NonEssential]

I used to not care at all, but sometimes reminding myself that most people my age have already kissed, cuddled, had sex maybe even married whilst I'm a virgin who has never been in a relationship, definitely adds to my feeling of being a pathetic loser who would be better off dead.

 

[nothinghereforme]

I have physical health problems that would make sex painful. I hate life and everyone and my family and the doctors who revived me. I don't want to be better if I'm locked out of the best part of life; and it only is because the rest is so boring and miserable and pointless; everyone such worthless and boring liabilities not remotely worth knowing
I'm angry every day I wake up
I would rather be crabby and ruin other's mood than make do with this nothing life

 

[I'm scared]

I am almost 58.
I have had 3 children and was married a long time ago.
It's been nearly 18 years since I had sex,a cuddle or any form of love.
Now I find any form of human to touch repulsive

 

[virgilwalks]

lack of sex - I think is not the same as lack of intimacy. sex can be an anonymous hookup, no real names, no "date", no movie, no food or drinks. No commitment or intimacy. and no judgement - there's nothing wrong with a hookup if everyone is on the same page.

I think intimacy isn't necessarily about the physical - it's about building trust. Intimacy is more than appendages and orifices.

 

[needthebus]

yes

 

[before20]

Not really. The last time I hooked up with guys it made me question if I was attracted to men at all, and I've made my peace that most women probably wouldn't want to hook up with me. And I don't really want a relationship right now, so.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

Sex? No. Lack of meaningful connection, of someone who I can open up to… that's destroying me.

 

[Apathy79]

I think if I started up a new relationship I'd suggest it. Seriously how is this a real thing? Is it just FOMO?

I dunno maybe I'm just weird but I went from having sex a couple times a week to never when I was in my early 20s and found it more of a relief than a disappointment. 20+ years on, I have no interest in going back to it.

 

[Archness]

I experience lust and such, but honestly masturbation is enough to sate it. I've never actually had sex, and it's very unlikely I'll experience it outside of a hookup / sexworker. It's just another checkbox of "Things to do before die or CTB", it's not a must but I'd like to experience it ONCE at least.

Does it bother me? No, the lack of ANYONE at all even platoniclly is what's really fucking with me. It's not that I just have "Bigger Problems", no sex at all is genuinely not a problem, I just have the need for "Release" sometimes.

Sex seems a bit interesting and very nice. But without love or a strong bond, it's not worth the effort or liability. I also feel that without said love, sex won't be much of an improvement from masturbation.

 

[willow115]

Yea, less now than it used to. Makes me feel disconnected from something that used to make me feel alive.

 

[Flightless Wings]

I've never had the desire for sex (or a romantic relationship). It never bothered me, but it is something that I feel alienates me from the 'normal human experience'.

 

[Scythe]

I don't care for it because I despise humans, they are fools to accept society for what it is and to be okay with living in such a shitty world. I want nothing to do with most ppl, including sex.

Also the picture u attached seems to be more complaining about how it sucks to work for ur youthful years and try to enjoy life when u're old and weak? Which I do relate to as that's the main reason for me to want to die.

 

[Gstreater]

No I don't care about sex it's more I crave an emotional connection with someone.

 

[Forveleth]

Step 1: Stop comparing yourself to everyone else.

My partner absolutely sucks at sex. It has taught me to be self-sufficient. I have a good imagination, found porn I like, got some toys. Quite frankly getting other people involved at this point is just annoying. I would much rather entertain myself. I can have a good time alone and that is enough for me.

 

[SuicidalCurryBoy]

Are you "micro_p_bald_currycel", "manchildloser", "hermit loner guy" on yet another account

No

In that world, I have another name.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Anya: I think it's the secret to getting you out of my mind. Putting you behind me. Behind me, figuratively. I'm thinking face-to-face for the event itself.

Xander: Ah. Right... It's just we hardly know each other. I mean, I like you... and you have a certain... directness that I admire. But sexual interc... What you're talking about. Well... And I'm actually turning into a woman as I say this... But it's about expressing something. And accepting consequences.

Anya: Oh, I have condoms. Some are black.

Xander: That's... that's very considerate.

Anya:
I like you. You're funny and you're nicely shaped. And, frankly, it's ludicrous to have these interlocking bodies and not... interlock. Please remove your clothing now.

Xander:
And the amazing thing? Still more romantic than Faith.

 

[Languish]

I just seek to love and be loved. I want my heart to live in the chest of someone whos heart lived in mine.

 

[divinemistress36]

Anya: I think it's the secret to getting you out of my mind. Putting you behind me. Behind me, figuratively. I'm thinking face-to-face for the event itself.

Xander: Ah. Right... It's just we hardly know each other. I mean, I like you... and you have a certain... directness that I admire. But sexual interc... What you're talking about. Well... And I'm actually turning into a woman as I say this... But it's about expressing something. And accepting consequences.

Anya: Oh, I have condoms. Some are black.

Xander: That's... that's very considerate.

Anya:
I like you. You're funny and you're nicely shaped. And, frankly, it's ludicrous to have these interlocking bodies and not... interlock. Please remove your clothing now.

Xander:
And the amazing thing? Still more romantic than Faith.

My fav tv show ever

 

[locked*n*loaded]

My fav tv show ever

Me too. That and Breaking Bad.

 

[reignerreigns]

it's a difficult question to answer.
(i'm sorry if any of this comes off as bragging, i'm just trying to express what bothers me.)

i want to say yes, but that's oversimplifying it. i'm a virgin—sorta by choice? if i show myself to strangers online, i get a bunch of horny replies, or people trying to start a romantic relationship; which i can only assume is motivated by their horniness, lol. the same shit happens with people i meet irl, regardless of the way we met.

my issue is, i don't want to sleep with someone who is only interested in my physical appearance. even if they eventually become attracted to me as a person, i wouldn't be able to believe them. i don't even want to interact with a person if their main reason for walking up to me—or messaging me, in the cases of online interactions—is because of my appearance. it's all i'll be able to think about for the rest of our relationship.

i could only sleep with someone i am romantically interested in; but i could only be romantically interested in someone who genuinely liked me, like a friend—but even then, i hate the idea of dating a friend. i'm not joking when i tell people that i'm doomed to be alone, lol.

i could go on about the irrational way that my mind works in these situations; but i already feel bad for dropping such a long response to such a straight forward question.

tldr: yes, but my paranoia/overthinking is to blame. i don't think anyone who would want to sleep with me would also be genuinely interested in me as a person, and that's what makes me depressed.

I wish i were you, im nowhere near attractive to anyone, I can see hope for you cause there are still many good people in the world left, you just havent found them...at least you have a choice many of us dont, ive never been approached to or even get any sort of romantic message, you can get cues of how it is...and to top it all off, not only did the person i met a a couple of months ago lie about liking me, she developed a new "cuckold" trauma in me i never had.

 

[sadalways]

On one hand, i haven't had it ever and i doubt i ever will, that bothers me somewhat. On the other hand, i just want love, want to know what it feels like to be truly loved and the loneliness is what kills me more than anything.