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Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
I have a relative who took their own life when I was a kid many decades ago.
I never imagined I would imagine the same for me… Although I felt like the same "mental illness" has afflicted me… a darkness and despair lurking beneath even happy moments- even when I thought I had finally gotten beyond its reach …
 
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H

Hollowman

Empty
Dec 14, 2021
1,647
Not suicide but definitely mental illness. I have to try really hard not be pissed at my parents for having me. At least I decided not to procreate and end this cycle.
 
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Reactions: Ligottian, almaranthine, Un- and 4 others
flightless bird

flightless bird

somewhere over the rainbow
Aug 18, 2022
226
Yes. It all started when my little brother died of a renal disease. A family member attempted suicide, I was 16 at the time, and since that day suicidal ideation has been a part of my life. There were 3 more attempts after that, followed by many health problems caused by these attempts. We were all so used to living in this hell for years that at some point it became like a joke, like someone would come up with a silly method and we would all laugh or something.
 
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Lullaby

Lullaby

🌙
Mar 9, 2022
682
Mental illness runs rampant throughout my father and mother's side, more so my dad's.

In a way, it makes me upset. It wasn't a death sentence, but to know I was immediately going to be dealt a bad hand as soon as I was born just sucks.

I know I'm never going to be a mother at this point, but I guess that's a good thing.
 
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Hollowillow

Hollowillow

The only place that allows negative feelings.
Aug 7, 2022
1,515
Yes. It all started when my little brother died of a renal disease. A family member attempted suicide, I was 16 at the time, and since that day suicidal ideation has been a part of my life. There were 3 more attempts after that, followed by many health problems caused by these attempts. We were all so used to living in this hell for years that at some point it became like a joke, like someone would come up with a silly method and we would all laugh or something.
I'm sorry when someone willing to live has to go. Please firgive my asking... But which ctb methods caused which diseases? I'm so scared... But too in pain. Thank you
 
Ms.Starr

Ms.Starr

Member
Sep 10, 2022
48
Yes! My oldest brother comitted suicide.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,494
No, definitely not. My family members seem to want to live until very old age which is something that I will never understand. In general, I just don't understand those who want to live, living is certainly not desirable at all.
 
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tired868686

tired868686

Member
Aug 27, 2022
69
Yes
 
Last edited:
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P

przeciwwymiotne

Be rude to me at all times, I don't deserve kindne
Jun 27, 2022
360
I have a relative who took their own life when I was a kid many decades ago.
I never imagined I would imagine the same for me… Although I felt like the same "mental illness" has afflicted me… a darkness and despair lurking beneath even happy moments- even when I thought I had finally gotten beyond its reach …
Kinda... My grandma had an episode of depression once, she worked herself
 
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flightless bird

flightless bird

somewhere over the rainbow
Aug 18, 2022
226
I'm sorry when someone willing to live has to go. Please firgive my asking... But which ctb methods caused which diseases? I'm so scared... But too in pain. Thank you
The method was always the same, pills and alcohol.

The first one was sertraline od, which caused a 7-day coma. The result was severe neuropsychological damage, negative changes in personality, extreme anger and depression 24/7.

The next attempt was naproxen od, 2-day coma, caused liver damage.

The following od was citalopram together with selegiline, and of course, alcohol. 3-day coma and 2 months later, cancer. Doctors said it was due to severe sadness, stress and anxiety.
 
H

HoneyandGlass

Student
Jun 22, 2022
131
Yes. 4 family members. Close family members. Must be in my blood.
 
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C

come to dust

Arcanist
Oct 28, 2019
454
No. I am the ONLY person in my family who wants to die
 
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Everlong

Everlong

One last chance to turn it around
Sep 7, 2022
105
My biological father and all his brothers suffered abuse from my grandfather and turned to alcohol and cocaine. I never lived with him or had much contact but found the same path. They probably had mental illness but we're stubborn. Tough to kill, too. We joke I come from good stock. Our livers are like a Timex. My mom's mom suffered mental illness and slept in a padded room a time or two. They looked at mental health different back then. I'm 46 so they were way back. My uncle and his cousin both killed themselves within months of eachother over women and cocaine. One jumped the GG Bridge. The other ate lead. Yeah, my wife would've benefited from a brief family history of my family before nuptials. My family tree has thorns.
 
neonzebra

neonzebra

Member
Sep 11, 2022
77
My mother's cousin is the only one I know about who has done it - drove his car into a wall.
My cousin has been suicidal for years, and although currently stable.
 
Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
My mother's cousin is the only one I know about who has done it - drove his car into a wall.
My cousin has been suicidal for years, and although currently stable.
So they survived?
 
dirtnap

dirtnap

Member
Jun 7, 2022
60
No but mental instability is prevalent in my family, so is denial...
 
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LaVieEnRose

LaVieEnRose

Angelic
Jul 23, 2022
4,339
Yes. For example, I watched my fucking mother almost shoot herself in front of me with a gun I didn't know she had.
 
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rainysummer

rainysummer

x.x
Aug 23, 2022
24
yes major depression/bipolar/substance abuse disorders and a long history of generational trauma/rape/one suicide run on my moms side and then narcissism runs on my dad's. my mom is great but im still pissed at her for having me.
 
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Mofreeko

Mofreeko

Arcanist
Apr 7, 2019
478
No. I'll be a trend setter!
 
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thebunny

thebunny

be what they fear.
Aug 19, 2022
227
no, not really. they all seem to be living their best life. however, they do have certain issues that i inherited such as substance abuse and anger issues. both of which fucked me up in the head even further and ruined every good thing i have—a perfect concoction for being suicidal!
 
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A

Alpha_Drama

Member
Feb 7, 2020
12
No a relative but a person who was so close to family, we considered them one.

So, over a girl... Being a hunter and all... Easy access to the most obvious method...

I never thought I'd be in his shoes one day. I thought - and idiot, of him. Over a girl? Not worth it, I was thinking, so many ladies out there. But I was very young and loved life at that point.

Even younger, I had an NDE. Two days in a row past were the best days of my life. Why? Well, you realize you couldn't have experienced all these sounds and things if you were dead. So yeah, two days in a row, I loved both bad and good and worst things. I was the most well behaved child to his parents these days.

I felt all the ambient sounds you never notice when you go about your day.
The sun's rays on your skin? I felt them. The birds, the wind playing in the leaves?? And so much more... I felt them all. It was gorgeous, stunningly beautiful.

I loved life once. I tried all the shoes:

I loved life when I experienced what it's like escaping death; I didn't understand a suicidal person at one point; and now - I'm in solidarity with him.
 
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J

Jimblue

Student
Sep 10, 2022
199
My mother has Frontal Lobe damage, PTSD and anxiety disorder.

My father has narcissism personality disorder.

They are in a very unhappy marriage but never want to divorce.

My mother want to "pass" her mental illness to me. She think if I take the illness away from her, she will be recovered.

My uncle (my father's big brother) has Schizophrenia and has lived in a special hospital for over 50 years now. But not like my parents, he is complete different person when he is not ill. He is a very respectful, intelligent and loving man. If my uncle was not ill, he would not let my father destroy the family and destroy people's life.

My mother's cousin has been abused by his wife and CTB through gas method.

My parents has mental illness issue and turned to scumbags. And they never think about CTB, they just keep abuse other people. In their mind, they can not reach the happinesses so no one else can.
 
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hellispink

hellispink

poisonous
May 26, 2022
1,229
in my family, no one has ever done ctb. I will be the first one. My family is super big, we are a bunch. Some cousins I know of, they obviously have mental illnesses but not to the point of wanting to leave. I am the black sheep i guess I will keep the throne
 
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AnxietyHangover

AnxietyHangover

Global Moderator
Aug 20, 2022
243
Yes, depression, mental instability. Guess I was setup for failure.
 
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I

IchigoYozora

Member
Sep 17, 2022
11
No but I am not sure about my biological family.
 
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