F
Forever Sleep
Earned it we have...
- May 4, 2022
- 9,429
I find this topic interesting. I wonder if some people find a sort of comfort in the idea that their ideation has developed as a result of mental illness. I know a lot of people's hackles are rising at that idea because I also appreciate that it has the opposite effect- 'I don't have a mental illness- my thoughts are rational' etc.
I COMPLETELY understand why this is such a contentious issue because labelling ideation as mental illness tends to strip that person of their autonomy quite a lot of the time. I want to think of it more on a personal level though- rather than what society then tends to do with that assertion- ie. incarcerates people against their will etc.
I wonder if it depends on how we feel about our ideation. For some people- it is more welcome than others I would say. For those people who are truly disturbed by their thoughts- I imagine that in some way- it may be a comfort to believe that it is illness that is making them think that way- a type of imposter idea rather than their own desire.
I also imagine when it comes to recovery- it is useful to see those ideas as being 'outside of me'- or, even better- attribute them to an 'illness' that HOPEFULLY has a cure.
It's interesting that you get VERY powerful ideas from both sides- some people insisting that mental illness doesn't exist (because I suspect they don't like the label and what tends to happen when you get given that label.) And others- who sternly (and understandably) stand behind their diagnosis- likely I imagine because of how much harder their illness has made life for them. I can understand both sides of the argument.
I remember I worked with a lady who openly said she suffered from depression. We once chatted and she asked: 'do you want to kill yourself?' It was actually really refreshing to just be able to say 'yes' and know it would go no further because she felt the same.
Anyhow- the interesting part was she then said something along the lines of- 'These ideas aren't your fault- it's how our brains are wired- low serotonin levels etc.' I have a feeling that's been debunked now but I find the idea interesting- 'not your fault'- not even your responsibilty maybe?
I think for people who have mixed feelings about suicide- for whatever reason- religion, upbringing, sense of duty to those around them- there CAN be a feeling of shame, guilt- even fear in having these thoughts.
So again- I wonder if distancing yourself from them helps in also experiencing less of a personal feeling of blame etc. So- it's the 'illness' making me feel and behave in this way- it's not my fault- maybe to some extent- not even my choosing. SOME people would indeed prefer not to have suicidal thoughts I imagine. Some people recognise that they ARE depressed and they desperately don't want to be.
I have mixed feelings really. It kind of depends on whether I think 'recovery' is worth a shot. I feel trapped here until my Dad goes regardless- so a part of me wonders whether I should put in the fight to make things better. In which case- it helps to see my ideation as a product of my history and likely a longterm mild depression.
Just like- recognising that I am prone to limerance makes me VERY wary of myself when I start to find myself getting giddy and obsessing over some guy. Knowing that I am also prone to binge eating makes me wary around certain foods. Knowing that I have social anxiety means that I brace myself for social events because I know they are likely to make me feel awful.
Still- there's also a part of me that does think I likely don't have THAT much mental illness about me. Not to a debhilitating point anyhow. And like a lot of people here- I hate it when it is just used as an excuse after a suicide- 'they were mentally ill or depressed- they weren't thinking clearly.'
Anyhow- what are your feelings? I suppose in a way there are two sets of feelings- those you have when you are being challenged by pro-lifers- ie. 'You're just thinking this way because of your illness'. And maybe also those that you feel privately- 'I wonder if it is a change in how my brain is working that is making me feel like this.'
I COMPLETELY understand why this is such a contentious issue because labelling ideation as mental illness tends to strip that person of their autonomy quite a lot of the time. I want to think of it more on a personal level though- rather than what society then tends to do with that assertion- ie. incarcerates people against their will etc.
I wonder if it depends on how we feel about our ideation. For some people- it is more welcome than others I would say. For those people who are truly disturbed by their thoughts- I imagine that in some way- it may be a comfort to believe that it is illness that is making them think that way- a type of imposter idea rather than their own desire.
I also imagine when it comes to recovery- it is useful to see those ideas as being 'outside of me'- or, even better- attribute them to an 'illness' that HOPEFULLY has a cure.
It's interesting that you get VERY powerful ideas from both sides- some people insisting that mental illness doesn't exist (because I suspect they don't like the label and what tends to happen when you get given that label.) And others- who sternly (and understandably) stand behind their diagnosis- likely I imagine because of how much harder their illness has made life for them. I can understand both sides of the argument.
I remember I worked with a lady who openly said she suffered from depression. We once chatted and she asked: 'do you want to kill yourself?' It was actually really refreshing to just be able to say 'yes' and know it would go no further because she felt the same.
Anyhow- the interesting part was she then said something along the lines of- 'These ideas aren't your fault- it's how our brains are wired- low serotonin levels etc.' I have a feeling that's been debunked now but I find the idea interesting- 'not your fault'- not even your responsibilty maybe?
I think for people who have mixed feelings about suicide- for whatever reason- religion, upbringing, sense of duty to those around them- there CAN be a feeling of shame, guilt- even fear in having these thoughts.
So again- I wonder if distancing yourself from them helps in also experiencing less of a personal feeling of blame etc. So- it's the 'illness' making me feel and behave in this way- it's not my fault- maybe to some extent- not even my choosing. SOME people would indeed prefer not to have suicidal thoughts I imagine. Some people recognise that they ARE depressed and they desperately don't want to be.
I have mixed feelings really. It kind of depends on whether I think 'recovery' is worth a shot. I feel trapped here until my Dad goes regardless- so a part of me wonders whether I should put in the fight to make things better. In which case- it helps to see my ideation as a product of my history and likely a longterm mild depression.
Just like- recognising that I am prone to limerance makes me VERY wary of myself when I start to find myself getting giddy and obsessing over some guy. Knowing that I am also prone to binge eating makes me wary around certain foods. Knowing that I have social anxiety means that I brace myself for social events because I know they are likely to make me feel awful.
Still- there's also a part of me that does think I likely don't have THAT much mental illness about me. Not to a debhilitating point anyhow. And like a lot of people here- I hate it when it is just used as an excuse after a suicide- 'they were mentally ill or depressed- they weren't thinking clearly.'
Anyhow- what are your feelings? I suppose in a way there are two sets of feelings- those you have when you are being challenged by pro-lifers- ie. 'You're just thinking this way because of your illness'. And maybe also those that you feel privately- 'I wonder if it is a change in how my brain is working that is making me feel like this.'