Discussion Does it go against the forum to dissudae someone?

[MeltingHeart]

Even thou I on a personal note have a extreme desire to ctb, for some reason it makes me sad to see younger folk, esp under 30 (and not in physical pain) want to Ctb
I want them to read this -https://mentalhealthdaily.com/2015/02/18/at-what-age-is-the-brain-fully-developed/ : suggesting you may still not be in control of impulsive actions & not able to see things rationally- until well into your twenties. Is it strange to be on here, but have a desire to help/ stop others in their desire to ctb? Am I being naive? missing the point?

 

[Blackjack]

I feel the same way about young adults, not only because I'm old as fuck, but for that very reason about brain development, impulse control, etc. I think it's OK to share that info but ultimately, this site is about education & pro-choice.

 

[Thanatos]

I've been told that my entire life. It's my life, my pain, my choice. I'd agree with you for those under 18

 

[MeltingHeart]

I feel the same way about young adults, not only because I'm old as fuck, but for that very reason about brain development, impulse control, etc. I think it's OK to share that info but ultimately, this site is about education & pro-choice.

yes indeed, everyone has their reasons, just breaks my heart for some reason, like I wish I would be 18 again, I still feel they have the time to correct mistakes, to get out of whatever situation they are in or get the right kind of help- but by the time you get to mid-life it really starts to be ALOT harder to make the changes that could have led you to a better life and on top of that you have all those extra years of bad memories, mistakes, failures and sadness to deal with so you are loaded with all that-which gives you less chance and hope in making your life a good one-the one you wanted for yourself

 

[Stan]

For me if you can sense someone is in some level of crisis and is about to do something that will cause them pain and anguish it is good to help. In respect to long term feelings it would be difficult to provide support apart from just being here and listening. That fact alone seems to help some people to a great degree and may have changed their views on the future. Some have even said they get better support here than they do from therapy.

 

[MeltingHeart]

I've been told that my entire life. It's my life, my pain, my choice. I'd agree with you for those under 18

told which bit sorry?

For me if you can sense someone is in some level of crisis and is about to do something that will cause them pain and anguish it is good to help. In respect to long term feelings it would be difficult to provide support apart from just being here and listening. That fact alone seems to help some people to a great degree and may have changed their views on the future. Some have even said they get better support here than they do from therapy.

yes I guess just listening and like minded people can help & I guess there is proof that even being on here can help in the fact that there is a recovery forum so that is good. I have no desire to 'recover' I deeply believe that is an absolute impossibility for myself

 

[Mercury6737]

The old "not thinking rationally" argument again lol. You can't pick and choose when to apply it. A 23 year old person cannot call a loan servicer and say, "Sorry, I wasn't thinking rationally when I applied for those loans" or "Sorry, I wasn't thinking rationally when I robbed that bank" and be excused.

 

[Let'sgetoutofHERE]

I feel the same way when I see someone in their early 20s here, even though I have that age as well and I'm quite determined. It's rather paradoxical

 

[MeltingHeart]

The old "not thinking rationally" argument again lol. You can't pick and choose when to apply it. A 23 year old person cannot call a loan servicer and say, "Sorry, I wasn't thinking rationally when I applied for those loans" or "Sorry, I wasn't thinking rationally when I robbed that bank" and be excused.

Not in away trying to undermine or dimish the feelings of a younger person that feels this way, it just makes me feel sad thats all- as I feel they have the potential, time and scope to maybe still make the years ahead of their life a good one still! When you get to middle age-it feels so much the harder-as you have that much greater percentage of yr life that you have not enjoyed & sad memories -compared to the potential for good years ahead

 

[GlowingCactus]

I do my best not to tell people what to do and what not to do in an authoritarian way. I think it's not helpful anyway, I find it disrespectful and it is likely to annoy the person more than anything and therefore not take into consideration what you say. I know I hate being treated like a child who must be told what to do. For example, I see no harm in asking questions like : Is there really no hope for your situation to improve ? Have you tried *this* or *that* ? Suicide is a personal decision, it's not my role to say if someone's reasons to contemplate suicide are valid or not.

I am not a teacher with any special knowledge and the suicidal person is not a clueless student. We're just 2 human beings having a conversation and I don't want to pretend it's anything more than that. I don't even claim to be able to help anyone.

 

[Girobatol]

For some of us, like bipolars like me, age doesn´t matter. If you´re on heavy medications that shut off all pleasure from life, then do it.

 

[MeltingHeart]

For some of us, like bipolars like me, age doesn´t matter. If you´re on heavy medications that shut off all pleasure from life, then do it.

sorry to hear that.

 

[AlmostFinished]

It also happens to me. I think that everyone (especially without physical pain) can have a chance and I would like to be able to help them in some way.
I wish that especially the youngest could reach more years and see life with perspective.
Paradoxically for me I see no solution and there is no going back. On Monday I will receive my SN and I hope not to end the week.

 

[WatermelonMel]

Even thou I on a personal note have a extreme desire to ctb, for some reason it makes me sad to see younger folk, esp under 30 (and not in physical pain) want to Ctb
I want them to read this -https://mentalhealthdaily.com/2015/02/18/at-what-age-is-the-brain-fully-developed/ : suggesting you may still not be in control of impulsive actions & not able to see things rationally- until well into your twenties. Is it strange to be on here, but have a desire to help/ stop others in their desire to ctb? Am I being naive? missing the point?

So when I'm 30 years old and my brain is fully developed will my Asperger's magically vanish? Because this is the reason I am personally going to ctb under 30 and it is something I have planned my whole life now. Sorry if this post came off as aggressive, it is unfair when I see people who think others shouldn't go simply because they are too young/younger, some of these younger people have problems that cannot be fixed.

 

[MeltingHeart]

It also happens to me. I think that everyone (especially without physical pain) can have a chance and I would like to be able to help them in some way.
I wish that especially the youngest could reach more years and see life with perspective.
Paradoxically for me I see no solution and there is no going back. On Monday I will receive my SN and I hope not to end the week.

Same-My SN is on they way too

I'm 25 years old. I'm relatively healthy body-wise but my mind is completely broken. I'm a mess. I have been like this forever. My downwards spiral started when I was 14 years old, when I became suicidal the first time in my life. And it never stopped. It never changed. This is me. And honestly, for me, it would be torture to continue life just because people expect me to do so. I don't want to become old. I already feel old with 25 years. I can't imagine living for another 25 years. It would probably turn me crazy. I feel like someone who experienced it all and I've went through enough suffering already, in my opinion. I don't need more of this. And it's fine. And honestly, just having N gives me so much more peace because I know, I can break out of this prison at any time. No questions asked.

Im sorry you have felt this way for so long.
Just realised I spelt: Dissuade in a really weird way. glad everyone knew what I meant!

 

[Thanatos]

told which bit sorry?

That my brain isn't fully developed until 25. It's a bullshit argument, I can still make the decision to end my life. More life at this point would just be more suffering

 

[Blackjack]

So when I'm 30 years old and my brain is fully developed will my Asperger's magically vanish? Because this is the reason I am personally going to ctb under 30 and it is something I have planned my whole life now. Sorry if this post came off as aggressive, it is unfair when I see people who think others shouldn't go simply because they are too young/younger, some of these younger people have problems that cannot be fixed.

^^This^^

That my brain isn't fully developed until 25. It's a bullshit argument, I can still make the decision to end my life. More life at this point would just be more suffering

^^This^^

 

[woxihuanni]

I don't see a particular user's posts (ignored) but from what I understand, one of you guys under 25 could murder them, then shrug and say 'sorry, brain not developed'.

 

[Blackjack]

For some of us, like bipolars like me, age doesn´t matter. If you´re on heavy medications that shut off all pleasure from life, then do it.

^^This^^

I'm 25 years old. I'm relatively healthy body-wise but my mind is completely broken. I'm a mess. I have been like this forever. My downwards spiral started when I was 14 years old, when I became suicidal the first time in my life. And it never stopped. It never changed. This is me. And honestly, for me, it would be torture to continue life just because people expect me to do so. I don't want to become old. I already feel old with 25 years. I can't imagine living for another 25 years. It would probably turn me crazy. I feel like someone who experienced it all and I've went through enough suffering already, in my opinion. I don't need more of this. And it's fine. And honestly, just having N gives me so much more peace because I know, I can break out of this prison at any time. No questions asked.

^^This^^

 

[MeltingHeart]

So when I'm 30 years old and my brain is fully developed will my Asperger's magically vanish? Because this is the reason I am personally going to ctb under 30 and it is something I have planned my whole life now. Sorry if this post came off as aggressive, it is unfair when I see people who think others shouldn't go simply because they are too young/younger, some of these younger people have problems that cannot be fixed.

I am sorry to hear you have suffering- as mentioned I would not want to deter or undermine anyones feelings no matter what age, I just found it an interesting article-and I have read many similar studies before that may apply to SOME but certainly not all-young people with sucidal ideation

 

[Eurus]

Been suicidal since I was 8,now that I'm 29 I see how hard it is to do but I still wanna do it

 

[MeltingHeart]

I don't see a particular user's posts (ignored) but from what I understand, one of you guys under 25 could murder them, then shrug and say 'sorry, brain not developed'.

What does this bit mean? I don't see a particular user's posts (ignored) . I was not intending to mean that I think everyone under 25 has an undeveloped brain or doesnt can not make good/ correct decisions - I just found it an interesting article- and tbh its probably my own self indulgent wish/ desire to be that age again and try and make a better life for myself before I lost all hope- and then my mothering instincts (as I will never have children now) come into play in this also

Been suicidal since I was 8,now that I'm 29 I see how hard it is to do but I still wanna do it

 

[BPD_LE]

I understand it seems especially sad when younger members ctb. But how many of us oldies tried and failed when we were that age. Looking back, for me personally, I wish I had succeeded in my teens. I would have saved myself over 25 years of pain and bullshit.

 

[MeltingHeart]

I understand it seems especially sad when younger members ctb. But how many of us oldies tried and failed when we were that age. Looking back, for me personally, I wish I had succeeded in my teens. I would have saved myself over 25 years of pain and bullshit.

I didnt want to at that age, well only one time-briefly. Sorry to hear uve have pain for so long

 

[Blackjack]

I understand it seems especially sad when younger members ctb. But how many of us oldies tried and failed when we were that age. Looking back, for me personally, I wish I had succeeded in my teens. I would have saved myself over 25 years of pain and bullshit.

^^This^^ aka Free Will.

 

[MerrySkeleton]

If an anonymous poster on a forum is able to dissuade you from committing suicide then you probably shouldn't commit suicide. If you're going to be making a decision of such magnitude then you should be sure of yourself. I don't think users expressing pro life opinions runs contrary to the pro choice stance of this website, as at the end of the day you can just choose to ignore users/posts that you don't wish to see.

 

[MeltingHeart]

If an anonymous poster on a forum is able to dissuade you from committing suicide then you probably shouldn't commit suicide. If you're going to be making a decision of such magnitude then you should be sure of yourself. I don't think users expressing pro life opinions runs contrary to the pro choice stance of this website, as at the end of the day you can just choose to ignore users/posts that you don't wish to see.

Very well put! and i think some other responders slightly mis-understood me-I havent ever actually tried to change anyones mind on here-rather it was a feeling I had in my heart-kind of wanting to 'save' (some people would argue it is not saving) somone else-because I can not save myself- really I am just throwing my thoughts and feelings around ya know

 

[Sweet emotion]

I've seen teenagers on here who say they just don't like life. And I think, god their lives havent even begin yet! I tell them to see a psychiatrist and a therapist to try and work out their issues. If it's not a painful disease or a progressive disease I think everyone should try and get help.

 

[MeltingHeart]

I've seen teenagers on here who say they just don't like life. And I think, god their lives havent even begin yet! I tell them to see a psychiatrist and a therapist to try and work out their issues. If it's not a painful disease or a progressive disease I think everyone should try and get help.

This is kind of my sentiment exactly, thou I think those younger folks would find it patronising in some way and that just because we may be older we can not know and understand their feelings-and of course those that have a clinical kind of bi polar/ depression or similar are suffering in a deeper way than anyone should at that age

 

[Sweet emotion]

This is kind of my sentiment exactly, thou I think those younger folks would find it patronising in some way and that just because we may be older we can not know and understand their feelings-and of course those that have a clinical kind of bi polar/ depression or similar are suffering in a deeper way than anyone should at that age

I understand. I just suggest therapy before ending it all