miceonvenus
New Member
- Nov 9, 2025
- 4
i think when i was a kid i used to be somewhat happy, but the first time i thought about ctb was when i was 9 and it's just been downhill from there. every day i go to work and spend the whole time thinking about how much i don't want to be here, then when i go home i spent the evening staring at the ceiling or my phone until i go to bed, then get up the next day to do it all again.
am i missing something or is this all there is???? how can everyone else live like this and not want to ctb?? i'm doing comparatively well too, i have a job, friends, a boyfriend, some money, i live in a first world country where i don't really want for anything and i'm relatively healthy, but everything is still more effort than it's worth.
i feel like the main factor driving me to ctb is that i'd rather not live than keep living like this. does anyone else feel this way? is there a way not to? :(
am i missing something or is this all there is???? how can everyone else live like this and not want to ctb?? i'm doing comparatively well too, i have a job, friends, a boyfriend, some money, i live in a first world country where i don't really want for anything and i'm relatively healthy, but everything is still more effort than it's worth.
i feel like the main factor driving me to ctb is that i'd rather not live than keep living like this. does anyone else feel this way? is there a way not to? :(
