Does being on this website make you feel better or worse?

[AloneInCollege]

I'm echoing a lot of people in this thread, but I think this site makes me feel better. On this site I don't have to hide how I feel or who I really am like I do irl

 

[protocorpse]

Not to be too sappy, but this site has been helpful specifically because of people like @FuneralCry and their empathy and support.
Ultimately I don't think online spaces and communcation are healthy for me, but the help and compassion here is literally not available anywhere else in life.

 

[castler]

Not to be too sappy, but this site has been helpful specifically because of people like @FuneralCry and their empathy and support.
Ultimately I don't think online spaces and communcation are healthy for me, but the help and compassion here is literally not available anywhere else in life.

This resource is helpful and the community is supportive for the most part - hopefully they don't put others down more than help them to their destiny.

 

[Foresight]

I appreciate your honesty.

For me it's better. I owe a lot to the compassion I've received here. I've been torn to shreds out in the world and SS is a refuge. I've also gained more stability knowing and receiving more humane ways out if that choice is made.

 

[Mimilade]

I am reading and using this site for someone who isn't capable of using a computer anymore.
I am not suicidal and reading all those threads makes me kinda feel very sad and empty.
I guess everybody has the right to commit suicide but reading all this, and having it so close in front of me giving me some kind of hopelessness.

 

[waitingforrest]

I am reading and using this site for someone who isn't capable of using a computer anymore.
I am not suicidal and reading all those threads makes me kinda feel very sad and empty.
I guess everybody has the right to commit suicide but reading all this, and having it so close in front of me giving me some kind of hopelessness.

I can understand.
Even though death is the goal, I still can't help but feel sad as well. Stuff like this really makes you think about what you are doing with your life. Dying is not a thing many people think about until they are at death's door, to have it right in front of your face is indeed startling. We never think much about the last time we might do or see something or all the dreams we still have unfulfilled...

Even though you aren't suicidal, yet still read on the behalf of someone else, shows how much of a considerate person you are. I hope you are doing okay, both of you. This isn't easy stuff to read.

 

[Euthanza]

at first it made me feel better, only to later realize how fallible most of the methods are. for me it'd the best to ctb together with a group of "like minded" individuals that way i feel our chances would be best, whatever the method ends up ultimately be. so far to no avail

Members are geographically diversed, even if we could gather then the event will put ourselves into risk of getting caught by suicide preventors. I think the best is to find a partner or two, ripples of N, hence CTB

 

[Mimilade]

I can understand.
Even though death is the goal, I still can't help but feel sad as well. Stuff like this really makes you think about what you are doing with your life. Dying is not a thing many people think about until they are at death's door, to have it right in front of your face is indeed startling. We never think much about the last time we might do or see something or all the dreams we still have unfulfilled...

Even though you aren't suicidal, yet still read on the behalf of someone else, shows how much of a considerate person you are. I hope you are doing okay, both of you. This isn't easy stuff to read.

I made a promise and with this person I feel no sadness at all. Because there is no chance of a life worth living.
But as much as wanting to accompany somebody with their suicide I also have to suppress the urge trying to help somebody else not doing it.
Its hard but I try to accept the ideas that it is not about "is there really no other way?" rather than "Its okay that somebody accepts the idea that there is no other way"

 

[toasterbath]

Both

Better because I finally feel like I found a place and community that genuinely understands me. All my life I have been surrounded by happy people with "picture perfect" lives and it sucks feeling like the inferior odd one out. This site made me realize I am not alone in my suffering. This world is downright hell-like for many of us. Here we can truly 100% relate to each other. This pain and suffering is the shit that normies in our life would never truly be able to actually comprehend.

Worse because it can be painful reading some of the terrible experiences such kind people here are being subjected to. And it is sad seeing that we live in such a dystopian world where CTB is the only way out for many of us.

 

[waitingforrest]

I made a promise and with this person I feel no sadness at all. Because there is no chance of a life worth living.
But as much as wanting to accompany somebody with their suicide I also have to suppress the urge trying to help somebody else not doing it.
Its hard but I try to accept the ideas that it is not about "is there really no other way?" rather than "Its okay that somebody accepts the idea that there is no other way"

Yes, it really is hard. Even for the suicidal, we can't help it but want the people we love and care about to stay despite reality. It's a helpless feeling, willing to do anything to take away the pain but not being able to. It's a lot to process, even if they aren't suffering anymore, there is always this tinge of loss and emptiness left behind.

It's human in some way, to want to hold onto remants of things precious to us, like how parents would leave a deceased child's room untouched frozen on time. But I guess humans do that because that person to them was and still is important despite all the sadness reminders may bring.

Thanks for keeping what you promised to the best of your abilities, I know this is difficult for you.

 

[DrWh033]

Mostly worse.
Because I have no similarities with the average user of this forum neither on the reasons for me ctb nor on the mentality towards life/world.
I just had bad luck and received a iatrogenic injury of my nerves that caused crps

Mostly worse.
Because I have no similarities with the average user of this forum neither on the reasons for me ctb nor on the mentality towards life/world.
I just had bad luck and received a iatrogenic injury of my nerves that caused crps which rendered my life an endless suffering.

 

[hellispink]

It is complicated for me. It is a support system for me when I need to vent or feel related others. But it can also be very draining and negative to another extent. But the world of the internet is like that, there is good things that come with it if you willing to pay the price by handling what you would prefer were different.

 

[walker]

Worse, for sure

 

[Againstthewind]

Its a mixed bag. It's great you have people where you can share how you feel and not get judged, or you keep silent because you fear someone will get all panicky and think 'oMg uR SuIcIdAL gEt HeLp'
But at the same time it lifts your hopes to see ways to ctb and think this is the way I am going to ctb, but, then you get into your own head about failed attempts, not getting what it is, affordability, easiness, painless, and how the way wont work, and your final way out wasn't as great as you thought it would be, and then you are back to square one.

It's almost dangling the carrot in front of you, which for some is how people feel about life itself, we're even being tortured for ctb ways and the huge maze it is.

How cruel.

 

[Bandinho]

I feel more comfortable. Because i see a lot of people like me here.

 

[GoodMourning]

I'm very new here yet I feel right at home here. It's everything outside this forum that makes me feel worse, but this forum makes me feel better because I've never been able to find other people who even remotely think like me like I have found in this forum. It is sad that such a forum is necessary at all, but given the world out there I feel it is better for this forum to exist than for it not to. Life has a lot of sadness to it and many people need a place to express their feelings about the ubiquitousness of such sadness. This website is such a place and I am grateful for it.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

I don't know anymore. In the beginning it felt cathartic to vent, joke around, participate in the Offtopic games, and when I'm able to, offer comfort and support to those with similar experiences. I took solace in knowing that I'm not alone. As time went by, the people whom I got along with have either caught the bus, left (some presumably) for good–for their own reasons—or been banned. For the departed, I wish them peace in their journey to eternity, and to those who've decided to make the best of life, I give my blessings. For the latter, I'm not always online, and therefore not exactly aware of what happened, so I would like to believe that the site's operators did what's best for the its continued existence. Whatever the case, it's just a shame that they are no longer here with us.

Nowadays I see a lot of new faces and while I have nothing against anyone, it...for the lack of a better term, doesn't 'feel like home anymore'. This is made all the worse by the fact that the site has come under the media spotlight, so you have every reason to doubt whoever's (or whatever's) on the other side of the screen.

 

[freevoid]

WAY better. I mean, I'm heartbroken that so many people are in the same boat of suffering, but to see actual quality conversation on the matter rather than just getting crazy-making nauseating platitudes and it gets better from people in real life is so refreshing and validating. Also quality info and experience reports on methods make me feel less afraid and more in control of my inevitable exit. I've suffered enough and It's empowering to have knowledge to make the exit as peaceful as possible.

 

[Symbiote]

When I felt sad and down, this site made me feel better or get things off my chest. When I'm in recovery, this site can be annoying. Now I understand why people who recover from depression or some temporary sadness suddenly ghost the people that were still depressed.

 

[buscatcher]

Being online in general makes me feel worse but it's all I do and all I have done

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I don't find myself feeling better or worse. I get no joy in being here, nor does it make me sad. Although, I don't get joy out of anything, anymore. Anymore, my mood just never changes. I really only feel numb, I guess. I don't even get joy or happiness out of getting everything worked out in my life so I can go. Today, I made an appointment with an attorney to get my will drafted. The only thing I feel, and it's not even really a feeling, is resolved to get this all done with.

 

[rainwillneverstop]

I discovered this site recently, been watching for some time.
I know it is not good for me in the long run, depending from whatever perspective you're looking.
But it's like a drug, it gives me something even though it has harmful consequences.
And so I come back again the next day.

 

[Message In A Bottle]

Used to give me a peace of mind - now whenever the topic of N pops up, I relive the day when it was taken away from me. I still haven't gotten over that - why I'm barely on anymore.

 

[QuietEnd]

WAY better. I mean, I'm heartbroken that so many people are in the same boat of suffering, but to see actual quality conversation on the matter rather than just getting crazy-making nauseating platitudes and it gets better from people in real life is so refreshing and validating. Also quality info and experience reports on methods make me feel less afraid and more in control of my inevitable exit. I've suffered enough and It's empowering to have knowledge to make the exit as peaceful as possible.

This!

In my case the overwhelm of despair has gone. I have options, real options about what I can choose to do and how I can make choices to stop the suffering I'm experiencing and feeling.

Coming from a trauma background of manipulation and control by others in all aspects of my life, it's really important that I have some autonomy. This space is kind, caring, supportive, understanding and gives choices - no-one insists I act or do anything specific I'm finally free to be me and make the only choices I have open to me... How I can make a quiet end to the suffering.

 

[bubo]

I'm echoing a lot of people in this thread, but I think this site makes me feel better. On this site I don't have to hide how I feel or who I really am like I do irl

I've been stalking this site for near a year now but only had the courage to make a account on it until recently and honestly i do think it makes me feel better. This is a place with people i can relate to and listen to the stories of those with suicidal thoughts (and more) and not have it treated as a taboo subject like the rest of the internet seems to think. here, on this site, everyone simply is what they are without the "it'll get better, just keep living!" Bullshit and i find that beautiful and honestly, it makes my day a tiny bit better actually.

 

[blue_muse]

Very insightful question. Being on SS doesn't make me feel better or worse. Generally speaking; it's a virtual shelter from the hostile atmosphere, people are creating around me in real life.

 

[makethepainstop]

This is one very tiny spot in the whole known universe, where we may freely and openly converse with one another. Conversing without fear of censure, forced hospitalization, forced happy pills, padded rooms, straight jackets, and the high fees of the psychology and medical realm's. For me SS is better than therapy. Love and peace to all here.

 

[Hope:-)]

It's interesting that I previously replied to this thread saying this website gives me hope. Now that ctb seems more real as things draw closer and my method is coming together it doesn't give me hope- instead, it scares me. It's a constant reminder of dying which I don't want to do. I want eternal life and another shot at this, but I don't want the dying part. I also feel very bad when people pass away and to hear of some people's circumstances- abusive families, disabilities etc. It's hard.

 

[brokensea]

I think I've met some amazing people here and they understand everything I'm feeling and going through more than I ever have experienced before. I am very isolated and it's one of the only places I can honestly share everything I think and feel in. It has helped in some ways as much as I'm capable of feeling. It's never to a point I feel happy or full relief but a mental understanding that it's nice someone knows how I feel and is making an effort to understand and talk to me. I feel less crazy in my own head or like I'm the only one feeling this way.

But then I feel a numbness too. The goodbye posts don't seem real to me. Like it's hard to imagine there's a real person there doing that and it's so incredibly sad and horrific that they had to come to that point even if they will find happiness, I can't even wrap my head around it.

Especially when someone is really young and so many people are incredibly sweet and just amazing people. I guess I feel disconcerted reading these posts like I'm slowing down to watch a car accident and I wonder what is wrong with me.

I also feel incredibly sad the stories of some peoples lives. They never had a chance. Life was so absolutely brutal beyond belief. It's all hard to comprehend. All of it.

 

[Everlong]

I find comfort reading other people venting and telling my story. I get solace knowing there are other people working together to find a solution to the tormented mind. Whether it's ending it or other methods. You are my people. Freedom of speech and thoughts for the most taboo subject of society.