Does anyone like the idea of a gun suicide - in metaphor and sensation?

[BeautifulMosaics]

I live in England so not very easy to get - even if I did, I think it would cause my family more trauma. People in UK don't expect this. They don't expect their loved ones to go to such extents. Even if I had a gun, I wouldn't, for this reason - but God do I fantasize about it.

The finality, the catharticism of destroying and retaliating against the very thing that has caused every problem in my life - destroying it. A final, fuck you. I win, I decided.

Might be toxic, but the drama of it - I like that too. The loud bang, the metaphor of ending it all.

SN (which I am very grateful to have no doubt), is such a passive method. It is the safest, however, and I am so fortunate to have it, to be alive in this era when I can access it. But honestly, it is a very passive method. There's no catharticism in drinking something while you recoil at its taste and then waiting around like a princess in a tower to slip away.

There was a time where I kept watching Kill Bill. You know in the first scene when he says "Do you find me sadistic?". And just before he shoots her in the head she says: "Bill, it's your b.." - BANG!

I just LOVE that part not only for its artistic qualities, but also because I imagine it happening to me.

 

[Scacie]

Huh, I never thought of gun suicides that way, and I can definitely see where you came from. I always thought I'd be kinda gruesome, but I also get why going out with a bang (literally) can be so attractive. I still personally prefer SN though, I think after suffering for so long, being a princess in a tower is exactly what I want, a peaceful way out. But I do wish you all the best going through with your method, and hope you find peace

 

[Inteoop]

If I had access to a shotgun, my biggest regret would be that I'm not able to see this stupid fucking brain being splattered all over the forest floor. So I definitely get you.

 

[Grav]

Thought about using a gun, and had many, but not the method I am planning on. Mostly due to the mess. Pretty much it's the problem of whereever you do it, so in your house = the family's problem to clean up. I had thought of ways to make clean up easier, "make clean up a snap!", but you really can't be sure unless you go overboard. Movies always make it look so clean and failproof but that's changing a bit.

 

[downndone2]

I have a gun and it is really the method I would like to use but afraid of misfire. It is messy but I was going to do it outside. I still can't get the balls to go through with it though.

 

[BeautifulMosaics]

I should've said to on my original post, to anyone reading this:

I don't want to encourage or downplay gun suicide. This is merely my fantasy/admiration of it. If you use the wrong bullet/gun, jerk your movements or simply aim in the wrong place, you can end up with your face blown off and needing a face transplant or a paraplegic/vegetable for the rest or your life. There are multiple known cases and videos/images. And you'll have to live with it because you'll be utterly powerless as a full paraplegic, unless someone wants to "help" you.

Please be careful and don't be impulsive with something so important as the quality of your life.

 

[SilentSadness]

I don't feel the need to make ctb artistic, I think death is already beautiful if you compare it to the hell that is living torment. I have no desire to make anyone feel pain by criticising them as I leave. I wish to die quickly and be forgotten. I don't think a gun suicide would be nice or pretty for the person clearing it up, I so wish that we were allowed to die with some peaceful method like N and sleep forever.

 

[Redhat83]

I don't know for me it sounds kind of weird but I don't want something that kills me instantly I want like at least a minute to be alone with my thoughts and be able to back out at any time during that time to make sure I'm sure I want to follow through with it I don't want pain but I want to be aware that it's killing me and feel it's killing me for some time before it actually does like tourniquet asphyxiation method or blood loss or maybe some kind of gas poisoning I don't know