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worthless

Member
Sep 20, 2018
21
So, hey...

I'm just interested if anyone is still trying to find salvation from this last act through love?

You can share your thoughts, or send me PM.

I am believer.
 
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muretax

muretax

Alien
Nov 13, 2018
81
Funny story. Well not really funny, more so tragic.

I found salvation through all of this with falling in love. I was in an abusive relationship and for the first time in years I felt happy and I was hopeful for the future. Before we even implemented anything for the future, he took his own life. This was back in May. I tried turning all that pain and agony around and dedicate my life to living for the two of us and to raise awareness on mental illness and suicide but I just gave up, I'm back to square one feeling entirely numb and hopeless and now even worse than ever.

I'm all for love. I'm a huge fan of it and truly believe this world is ran off of it so I believe you can find love and it'll help you heal, I personally just don't see it in the future for me. My love life doesn't want to exist.
 
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W

worthless

Member
Sep 20, 2018
21
Funny story. Well not really funny, more so tragic.

I found salvation through all of this with falling in love. I was in an abusive relationship and for the first time in years I felt happy and I was hopeful for the future. Before we even implemented anything for the future, he took his own life. This was back in May. I tried turning all that pain and agony around and dedicate my life to living for the two of us and to raise awareness on mental illness and suicide but I just gave up, I'm back to square one feeling entirely numb and hopeless and now even worse than ever.

I'm all for love. I'm a huge fan of it and truly believe this world is ran off of it so I believe you can find love and it'll help you heal, I personally just don't see it in the future for me. My love life doesn't want to exist.

Very sad to hear that story Miss. Your love life doesn't want to exist. Very sad to hear that. For me it's kind of opposite. Love is bouncing back off me. I don't know how it feels really. I think I felt it long ago. Just don't remember how that warmth and butterflies feel. Probably progressive deterioration of my illness... I do feel emotions, but only negative ones. Hatred, pain, agony, sadness, despair... Just to think that love is not meant for me. Kills me even more. But what kills me the most is the thought how I will end. Death that really no one deserves. Funny though it's actually cold, really cold outside now. So guess same goes for my emotions... I hope you will recover Miss. And don't stay for too long on this site. Suicide is serious thing. Out of all you should know it.
 
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Roulette

Roulette

???
Aug 31, 2018
145
Eh, don't really care about love anymore. I used to be a hopeless romantic, always reading stories and listening to love songs~ always looking up to those in a relationship and learning from them.

Love is pretty cool
 
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W

worthless

Member
Sep 20, 2018
21
Eh, don't really care about love anymore. I used to be a hopeless romantic, always reading stories and listening to love songs~ always looking up to those in a relationship and learning from them.

Love is pretty cool

Wish I could experience it just once again before I CTB...
 
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hikikomori

hikikomori

Attention whore and regular whore
Oct 23, 2018
209
i like love it makes me feel warm and comfortable its always unrequited tho that makes me feel cold and icy
 
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hikikomori

hikikomori

Attention whore and regular whore
Oct 23, 2018
209
i want to feel safe in someones arms
 
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W

worthless

Member
Sep 20, 2018
21
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hikikomori

hikikomori

Attention whore and regular whore
Oct 23, 2018
209
i want a nice warm SO to melt my cold cold heart
 
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BlackDragonof1989

BlackDragonof1989

Mage
Jul 12, 2018
526
I almost feel like, and this may be psychosis talking, that people who make love work are like, advanced spiritual beings who I have to learn from. I always have the chance at wondrous love, and I shine brightly, but then reality sets in, I run, I react, I am jealous, shallow, clingy, fearful, I become hated and then that dreaded indifference. Oh, but without such dramas much of my life would have been for nothing! Even if it is, I live for such things at times *sighs* Those rascaly renegades rightly so, teaching me a thing or five about what kind of heart I discarded, then I come crawling back, but never does it set well on me, usually, the worst kinds of humiliation follow for me, namely mutual friends replacing and outdoing me. They too becoming hateful towards me as I show my true shallow colors, inability to mental hospital attend colors.
 
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Xerxes

Xerxes

Invisible
Nov 8, 2018
936
Love is not a feeling. It's a saying that's empty and doesn't hold value anymore. You can say I love you one second, then say I don't love you, the next. A sentence gets thrown around like toilet paper. But hatred lasts, has meaning, and is more realistic than the hope of love.
 
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BlackDragonof1989

BlackDragonof1989

Mage
Jul 12, 2018
526
Love is not a feeling. It's a saying that's empty and doesn't hold value anymore. You can say I love you one second, then say I don't love you, the next. A sentence gets thrown around like toilet paper. But hatred lasts, has meaning, and is more realistic than the hope of love.

Oh, that's very true tonight, I felt that and lived that a few hours ago, with my careless words versus my true feelings about some failed relations. Oh yes very good this saying, thank you.
 
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worldexploder

worldexploder

Visionary
Sep 19, 2018
2,821
Love hurts too damn much. You get addicted to it then go though withdraws.
 
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Aesthler

Aesthler

Death is the only God who comes when you call
Sep 25, 2018
416
What is love? baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.
Now that I got that out of my system...I felt like this explained it pretty accurately.
 
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W

worthless

Member
Sep 20, 2018
21
What is life without love?

Death

That's why I'm here. Planning ctb
 
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S

stargazer

Arcanist
Nov 19, 2018
433
"It's just chemicals man, it's just chemicals/hormones" somewhere I've heard that before. It was a comedian I think. I think they're mostly right.
 
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Susannah

Susannah

Mage
Jul 2, 2018
530
I think love is a wonderful thing. I truly believe it's possible to find a soulmate, and I envy all functional couples. Unfortually I'm not capable of being in a relationship. As I've set my mind to spend rest of my time on earth "alone", I run away if someone gets too close. I freeze until people leave me alone.

Wow, that sounds really sad!
 
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Help_Me

Help_Me

Gene pool mistake
Oct 21, 2018
516
I don't believe in it anymore, but it's too late for me, as I'm addicted like hell. No turning back now...
 
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Dor

Dor

SS village idiot
Nov 22, 2018
309
Yes it exists. But for people like us it might be hard to find it.
 
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W

worthless

Member
Sep 20, 2018
21
Damn, this place sure is full of death and no one believes in love anymore. I do, still. Suicide, mental illness and love can coexist. Not really perfectly, but they can. I also believe in God. Science is just the tool to push people into suicide. Period. I think Devil and Hell which God is referring to are those inhumane things: Science, robots, artificial (insert word here)... Hell is what we make in life, no hell after death. Bloody science, wrecked my life totally. Now I understand that people in middle ages were HAPPIER, albeit had much harder life. Guess the happiest life had stone age people.

Explaining love, life and God by equations and science is laughable and dumb. Science doesn't and can't explain everything. If it could, we would all know perfect way to tie a knot and hang ourselves.

Science 0
God 1
 
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Xerxes

Xerxes

Invisible
Nov 8, 2018
936
When my wife doesn't love me or hug me when I'm sad, I replace her with Death. Death comforts, puts my mind at ease, and is always there.
 
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W

worthless

Member
Sep 20, 2018
21
To answer the title, yes I still believe in it, but I am no longer able to feel it.

Yeah, that's actually the issue. You think we can't feel it ever again?
 
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Skathon

Skathon

"...scarred underneath, and I'm falling..."
Oct 29, 2018
584
"Who needs love when pain feels all right?
Who needs truth when all I want is lies?"
©


Love is not a deity to "believe" in it, it is a feeling/state (or a characteristic/concept).
I am unable to experience such attraction myself, but I am interested in relationships between others (usually characters).
 
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BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
Yeah, that's actually the issue. You think we can't feel it ever again?
Strangely enough I was thinking of editing this.
Yes I still believe in it. I'm afraid that I will never be able to feel it again.
I think it's possible to feel it again, but for me, it won't be the same highschool smitten type of love.
At this moment in time. I know I care, it's just difficult for me to show it. Due to all my emotions being fucked up. And being in a state of complete emotional numbness for so long (I literally lost my sense of humour for fucks sake) that if it is love I feel, it won't be the same as I remember it.
 
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Eren

Eren

Si hablas español mándame un MP
Oct 27, 2018
1,075
Yes and no.

I have always considered myself a romantic boy, but in real life "love" is only for those who know how to socialize very well, not for socially retarded like me.

In addition, I'm not made for relationships, I'm a neurotic, many years ago I had a short relationship that ended up because of my damn neurosis, in part this helps me want CTB.
 
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Sundayafternoon

Sundayafternoon

Cosmic panic
May 18, 2018
394
It's kind of hard to beleive in because you can never really know what another is thinking.

Not to mention everyone's concept of love is different. What feels like love to me is not what i imagine others mean by love.

I want to be someone's sole priority. I want to be the first and last thought of his day. I want nothing to seem real in his world until he's shared it with me. I want to fall asleep in his arms right after he whispers, "Bitch, if you ever try to leave me, I'll kill you."
 
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Misanthrope

Misanthrope

Mage
Oct 23, 2018
557
Damn, this place sure is full of death and no one believes in love anymore. I do, still. Suicide, mental illness and love can coexist. Not really perfectly, but they can. I also believe in God. Science is just the tool to push people into suicide. Period. I think Devil and Hell which God is referring to are those inhumane things: Science, robots, artificial (insert word here)... Hell is what we make in life, no hell after death. Bloody science, wrecked my life totally. Now I understand that people in middle ages were HAPPIER, albeit had much harder life. Guess the happiest life had stone age people.

Explaining love, life and God by equations and science is laughable and dumb. Science doesn't and can't explain everything. If it could, we would all know perfect way to tie a knot and hang ourselves.

Science 0
God 1

I believe in love still, I am fortunate to have it in my life in various forms. It does not matter it is just brain chemicals. It does not dilute the human experience and formation of cherished memories and attachments.

Science is just the tool to push people into suicide.

Can you demonstrate an example of science being just a tool to push people into suicide?

How did science wreck your life entirely? I am honestly curious.

people in middle ages were HAPPIER

I am not sure where you get the idea people were happier in the middle ages from? It is true there are no happiness index studies to be looked over from the time to compare to now.

However, one thing I do understand logically is it is next to impossible to be happy if you are starving, chronically ill with no meaningful treatment options and no support if you can't work, and chronically abused for just existing.

The medieval era was pretty much dominated by those three things. Constant famines, caused by weather, disease and wars. Prevalent sickness where an infected cut could cause disabling conditions and even eventually kill you, with treatments more likely to maim and kill you than actually help you recover. Also if you were ill it was your fault, you must have done something to deserve it, so spite was a common response to the sick. The atrocities of the middle ages are well documented, its pretty difficulty to be happy amidst an atrocity you are living through.. Entire demographics also suffered, women beaten for being women because they are dirty things and it is good for them. I imagine there were a lot of very unhappy women in the medieval era, especially considering infant mortality at the time. Generally, happiness is not associated with children dying, and a lot of children died back then. Happiness is also not associated with being tortured or deprived of liberty because you fit a certain incorrect demographic defined by kings and queens whose mood or faith changes. If you were poor, being abused was a staple diet of normality. The medieval era was most likely not a happier time.

Guess the happiest life had stone age people.

No way to know, but being much smaller and community-based it may well be true. Strong Familial relationships and community are one strong measure of happiness. People are factually happier if they feel they belong and have a purpose. Modern society has kind of lost a lot of community. Creating a vast number of many lonely people with nothing to turn to. Not because it is evil, but just because of the numbers of people. We are hard-wired to only consider a certain number of people as individual people with feelings. Everything beyond that certain number gets rendered down into a concept, and it is easy to be cruel and dismissive to concepts you don't agree with. Or forget a person exists in the first place if they have no meaningful impact on your life.

Science doesn't and can't explain everything. If it could, we would all know perfect way to tie a knot and hang ourselves.

It does not matter science can't explain everything, what it does know is still useful. The irony is you are using it right now to spread your anti-science opinion on a digital medium. Something that only exists because of scientific understanding in the first place. A medium comprised of engineering, physics, and mathematics, and probably many more I am too lazy to list.

Your questions about Nembutal, those answers you seek, are also derived from various scientific disciplines. Chemistry and physiology.

Science does technically know the optimum way to hang a person. Since hanging convicts has been a common historical past time and still is in some cultures. Funnily enough, it was a reverend who derived the more humane math needed for a more efficient drop hanging. But I am not surprised as those with faith were also the early pioneers of science.

Score

1pt - Engineering
1pt - Physics
1pt - Mathematics
1pt - Chemistry
1pt - Physiology
1pt - Optimum Drop Hanging

Score Total

Science 6
God 1
 
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BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
I believe in love still, I am fortunate to have it in my life in various forms. It does not matter it is just brain chemicals. It does not dilute the human experience and formation of cherished memories and attachments.



Can you demonstrate an example of science being just a tool to push people into suicide?

How did science wreck your life entirely? I am honestly curious.



I am not sure where you get the idea people were happier in the middle ages from? It is true there are no happiness index studies to be looked over from the time to compare to now.

However, one thing I do understand logically is it is next to impossible to be happy if you are starving, chronically ill with no meaningful treatment options and no support if you can't work, and chronically abused for just existing.

The medieval era was pretty much dominated by those three things. Constant famines, caused by weather, disease and wars. Prevalent sickness where an infected cut could cause disabling conditions and even eventually kill you, with treatments more likely to maim and kill you than actually help you recover. Also if you were ill it was your fault, you must have done something to deserve it, so spite was a common response to the sick. The atrocities of the middle ages are well documented, its pretty difficulty to be happy amidst an atrocity you are living through.. Entire demographics also suffered, women beaten for being women because they are dirty things and it is good for them. I imagine there were a lot of very unhappy women in the medieval era, especially considering infant mortality at the time. Generally, happiness is not associated with children dying, and a lot of children died back then. Happiness is also not associated with being tortured or deprived of liberty because you fit a certain incorrect demographic defined by kings and queens whose mood or faith changes. If you were poor, being abused was a staple diet of normality. The medieval era was most likely not a happier time.



No way to know, but being much smaller and community-based it may well be true. Strong Familial relationships and community are one strong measure of happiness. People are factually happier if they feel they belong and have a purpose. Modern society has kind of lost a lot of community. Creating a vast number of many lonely people with nothing to turn to. Not because it is evil, but just because of the numbers of people. We are hard-wired to only consider a certain number of people as individual people with feelings. Everything beyond that certain number gets rendered down into a concept, and it is easy to be cruel and dismissive to concepts you don't agree with. Or forget a person exists in the first place if they have no meaningful impact on your life.



It does not matter science can't explain everything, what it does know is still useful. The irony is you are using it right now to spread your anti-science opinion on a digital medium. Something that only exists because of scientific understanding in the first place. A medium comprised of engineering, physics, and mathematics, and probably many more I am too lazy to list.

Your questions about Nembutal, those answers you seek, are also derived from various scientific disciplines. Chemistry and physiology.

Science does technically know the optimum way to hang a person. Since hanging convicts has been a common historical past time and still is in some cultures. Funnily enough, it was a reverend who derived the more humane math needed for a more efficient drop hanging. But I am not surprised as those with faith were also the early pioneers of science.

Score

1pt - Engineering
1pt - Physics
1pt - Mathematics
1pt - Chemistry
1pt - Physiology
1pt - Optimum Drop Hanging

Score Total

Science 6
God 1
Dammit Donny, why you gotta get all smart on us?
 
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Mr. Bill

Mr. Bill

Member
Nov 19, 2018
32
Love exists, it just doesn't always work out the way you want it to.
I used to have a good thing going, but my shit mental health wrecked my chances. They stayed with me for a long time and gave me lots of chances, but I just couldn't get my shit together. I refuse to live a mediocre life paying bills and surviving until I die alone.
 
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