Discussion Does anyone here ever get happy while looking up suicide methods?

[Pallf]

For these last couple of years I've been a frequenter of certain suicide method websites when I'm depressed and I get this ridiculously happy feeling when I read up on the different methods. I feel like I'm in control of my life when everything else is going to shit.

 

[wanttodie]

yes
get happy while looking up suicide methods noing one day all die be all be happy when i end it

 

[Caerula]

So true. I've always wondered if it's abnormal to feel so good looking up suicide methods.

 

[Hanger]

Yes especially when I think about me doing the method

 

[chronicpainnomore]

I lull myself to sleep every night imagining pulling the exit bag down over my head and breathing deeply.

 

[El Topo]

yes
get happy while looking up suicide methods noing one day all die be all be happy when i end it

Is that really you in your profile picture? I remember someone posted that on 8chan, but I thought it was just a joke.

 

[Life sucks]

I fantasize about good or painless methods like being in a nitrogen filled room. I fantasize about magically being dead all the time.

I get some happiness while researching because of the hope and the feel like I'll get something magical although I get no new results.

I think if suicidal people started researching scientifically together they can find something new always. I think there are suicidals in each field of knowledge. Prolifers aren't the only ones who develop stuff.

 

[chronicpainnomore]

I fantasize about good or painless methods like being in a nitrogen filled room. I fantasize about magically being dead all the time.

I get some happiness while researching because of the hope and the feel like I'll get something magical although I get no new results.

I think if suicidal people started researching scientifically together they can find something new always. I think there are suicidals in each field of knowledge. Prolifers aren't the only ones who develop stuff.

Speaking of nitrogen filled rooms, here is a news story about a sperm bank in Augusta, GA that had a leak in the liquid nitrogen system and killed a police officer and almost killed a sperm bank employee. The officer went in to rescue the employee and was overcome so fast by nitrogen I doubt he even knew what happened. This is a sad story because it was an accident, but for our purposes, it shows how awesome nitrogen is.

 

[wanttodie]

Is that really you in your profile picture? I remember someone posted that on 8chan, but I thought it was just a joke.

yes it is my profile picture? way are you asking

 

[El Topo]

yes it is my profile picture? way are you asking

It might not be a good idea to put your real photo on here. If someone who knows you somehow found this website, they could call the police and possibly get you sent to a psychiatric hospital.

 

[Imaginos]

I'm too lazy to look up extraneous information like that, so I guess my answer would be no. I know exactly how I'd like to commit suicide. The problem is actually doing it. To be honest, looking up additional methods, even on the few occasions when I have bothered to do it, actually only serves to depress me since it essentially just acts as a painful reminder of how astronomically unlikely it is that I'll ever be able to carry it, or any other method, out to completion.

As far as just fantasizing about suicide in general, that's basically my number one hobby. A hundred little simulated deaths inside my head that I can replay and savor to my heart's content. It doesn't bring me happiness per se, but more a resigned comfort (if that makes any sense). As if, for a brief moment, I can feel the calm of oblivion take hold of me, almost like I really were dying (albeit in a very idealized, make-believe way). I don't know, man. I mean, I've also thought about death/suicide for so long now that it's basically just become a permanent fixture of my brain. The same way some people have daily recurring thoughts about the weather or their job or some other stupid bullshit, for me it's death. It's not even a conscious choice at this point. I just get up and that's what I think about it.

 

[wanttodie]

It might not be a good idea to put your real photo on here. If someone who knows you somehow found this website, they could call the police and possibly get you sent to a psychiatric hospital.

did not thank of that thanks i changed it

 

[El Topo]

did not thank of that thanks i changed it

No problem. Now there's a spectacular profile pic!

 

[DF90]

I know my suicide method now, but I always felt a strange calmness when I was looking for one.

 

[Meena]

Every time i go to bet i imagine myself breathing charcoal. It makes me feel calm and i forget all my problems.

 

[Pallf]

I imagine myself in an apartment using the exit bag method and l feel myself drifting away peacefully.
I really enjoy the setup to the method because it allows me to take control of my life and it makes me feel responsible, if that makes any sense.
I get goosebumps thinking about it, and I think about it very often.

 

[Kogoruhn]

It calms me to know that we have an escape from suffering, although making the decision is not easy.

 

[Pallf]

It calms me to know that we have an escape from suffering, although making the decision is not easy.

Yeah pretty much this. This isn't a decision I'm making lightly, but I don't see myself getting any better so suicide is quite possibly an inevitable ending for me.

 

[Elaina]

It makes me sad that so many people feel that they need to resort to it. Myself included.

 

[millefeui]

Not happy, but knowing I will eventually put an end to this misery calms me down.

 

[Zanexx]

I know this is an old thread, but recently reading on suicide methods and talking to other people about suicide is the only thing that makes me feel slightly happy. I find it pretty much impossible to do anything else now, so that's the only thing that is able to distract me temporarily from the abyss which has become normal.

 

[leader-akiko]

I fall asleep to the thought of me bleeding out; I frequent this site specifically for good methods. Love the site, but not the suicidal thoughts.

 

[JessMcGuire]

The research and the planning aspect really appeals to my type A personality. It brings me a sense of calmness when my anxiety is crushing me. I'm glad to have found this board. I wish so many people weren't struggling and this board didn't need to exist in the first place, but I appreciate the honest, no bs discussions that are allowed to happen here.

 

[ninaevol]

I can definitely relate. My whole life I've felt like others have had more control in what happens to me than I do. This is the only thing I feel I have control and power over. I finally feel like I have a choice.

 

[Comatose11]

If I think they would work, I do. I think fantasizing about my death is a coping mechanism for me.

 

[Deleted member 847]

What would make me happy is having something with me that would easily kill me whenever I want regardless if there's people at home. The quit button is justice and freedom. I wish one day we'll have a society where living and dying are choices not obligations.

 

[BasedGod]

Yeah, it's a sense of relief for me. Like one thing is going the right way.

 

[Tomasnil]

I wouldnt say happy but it calms me down alot

 

[skitliv]

I wouldnt say happy but it calms me down alot

This exactly

 

[Tiburcio]

Only knowing there is an exit to life, I feel calmed. Now I only wish I really could do it.