Help Does anyone have any advice for dealing with horrible body dysmorphia?

[BloomingStrella]

If you're up to date on my recent activity, you would've seen me asking for help on a method, but, ironically enough, here I am on the recovery section, because my brain decided it wants to give this life another chance, which I still do not and won't ever understand. I guess this starts with dealing with my terrible body dysmorphia. It may seem silly, but I genuinely want to vomit every time I look at myself in the mirror. I don't feel fat or skinny, just abhorrently horrified at the way I look. I feel sorry when others have to look at me, despite their constant reassurance that I don't look as bad as I say I do.

I don't know, maybe this is just another ridiculous post formulated by my imbalanced brain. For the record, I'm pretty sure I have some form of bipolar disorder, but I have no official medical diagnosis. Regardless of the emotional state this condition drives me to, I still feel drop dead kms on sight ugly.

 

[sadBeing]

hi there,

I can't promise anything that I'm about to say will be of much help to you but I figure at the very least it won't hurt. I still to this day have a terrible self-image of myself. I avoid mirrors like the plague and always avoid looking at me when my friends pull up group photos and stuff. With that being said, I eventually just started to ask myself why I even cared if I was as hideous as I thought I was or not. Why did it matter to me if I thought I was ugly or not? If everyone around me was telling me I wasn't the hideous monster that I thought I was then why did I care what my brain thought? Maybe they are all lying but its a lie I have let myself believe.

I still have very bad days where my image gets to me but I am better now and try to think through logically what my brain is saying versus what the actual truth probably is. I hope at the very least this is reassurance that you are not alone when it comes to feeling like this.

 

[BloomingStrella]

hi there,

I can't promise anything that I'm about to say will be of much help to you but I figure at the very least it won't hurt. I still to this day have a terrible self-image of myself. I avoid mirrors like the plague and always avoid looking at me when my friends pull up group photos and stuff. With that being said, I eventually just started to ask myself why I even cared if I was as hideous as I thought I was or not. Why did it matter to me if I thought I was ugly or not? If everyone around me was telling me I wasn't the hideous monster that I thought I was then why did I care what my brain thought? Maybe they are all lying but its a lie I have let myself believe.

I still have very bad days where my image gets to me but I am better now and try to think through logically what my brain is saying versus what the actual truth probably is. I hope at the very least this is reassurance that you are not alone when it comes to feeling like this.

This was a very insightful response; thank you. But there again lies another problem. You can believe what other people say, but not me, at least not so easily. I have really bad trust issues developed from when I was a kid.

I'm sorry if it seems like I'm beating around the bush or something, but I'm genuinely lost. Maybe you could try giving some of the examples of things people said to disprove you?

 

[sadBeing]

no need for apologies or anything of the sort -- as I said in my original response, I am unsure if my line of thinking will be what you need to start to overcome your body dysphoria. Regardless of this, I am still more than happy to explain what helped me anyway in the off chance it can give you some comfort.

For me, it doesn't have to do so much with believing other people as it does with logically thinking through the situation. As I mentioned in my post, I heavily admit that there is a real chance the people in my life are lying to me when they say I am not ugly. I have just grown to accept the possibility that this is a lie. For me I was able to slowly get over my dysmorphia by focusing on why I cared so much about how I looked. Once I started questioning that, I was able to realize that I had no real grounds to care about my physical self as much as I did. Sure, I truly might be as ugly as I thought I was originally. My friends might be lying to my face about it. But I have accepted that lie because I have been able to detach myself from caring so much about it in the first place.

 

[BloomingStrella]

no need for apologies or anything of the sort -- as I said in my original response, I am unsure if my line of thinking will be what you need to start to overcome your body dysphoria. Regardless of this, I am still more than happy to explain what helped me anyway in the off chance it can give you some comfort.

For me, it doesn't have to do so much with believing other people as it does with logically thinking through the situation. As I mentioned in my post, I heavily admit that there is a real chance the people in my life are lying to me when they say I am not ugly. I have just grown to accept the possibility that this is a lie. For me I was able to slowly get over my dysmorphia by focusing on why I cared so much about how I looked. Once I started questioning that, I was able to realize that I had no real grounds to care about my physical self as much as I did. Sure, I truly might be as ugly as I thought I was originally. My friends might be lying to my face about it. But I have accepted that lie because I have been able to detach myself from caring so much about it in the first place.

Thank you for your response.

As to why I care so much about my appearance, I suppose it's because a dream of mine is to have someone I can truly care for. A lot of people tend to be superficial, and decide whether or not to give you a chance based on your looks, unfortunately.

Though I suppose if what I'm looking for is something way more than superficial, then those kind of people don't really fit my criteria...

I'd like to have an environment change to look for new opportunities, but unfortunately, I can't really do that right now. It's really worrying to me that no one seems to see me as someone they can approach, even if it's to be friends or make small talk. That's what I'd say is the root of my body dysmorphia. Maybe I'm just aesthetically unpleasing.

 

[TheLastGreySky]

You could fish for compliments.
I love giving compliments just because it brightens up people's days. Especially beautiful people that don't know they're beautiful.

I'm not ugly but because of some of the things I've done I can't look at myself in the mirror without wanting to beat my own face in so my body is a little different

 

[BloomingStrella]

You could fish for compliments.
I love giving compliments just because it brightens up people's days. Especially beautiful people that don't know they're beautiful.

I'm not ugly but because of some of the things I've done I can't look at myself in the mirror without wanting to beat my own face in so my body is a little different

I'd feel like an attention whore. That, coupled with my semi-known suicidal tendencies, would probably set off a couple of alarms. Also, how would I be able to fish for compliments, if I can't even get someone to stay by my side for more than 30 seconds?

I wish I had the confidence to say "I'm not ugly" without knowing it was a bold lie.

It'd definitely be better than thinking even my body is a burden to others.

 

[December]

sometimes i ask myself why I want to be beautiful in an ugly world. it helps temporarily with body dysmorphia, but the payoff is more suicidal ideation

 

[TheLastGreySky]

I'd feel like an attention whore. That, coupled with my semi-known suicidal tendencies, would probably set off a couple of alarms. Also, how would I be able to fish for compliments, if I can't even get someone to stay by my side for more than 30 seconds?

I wish I had the confidence to say "I'm not ugly" without knowing it was a bold lie.

It'd definitely be better than thinking even my body is a burden to others.

The hardest thing to change in life is your perspective believe me. I didn't realize how bad my body dysmorphia was until my son was 6 years old and he was looking in the mirror telling himself that he looked good. I had never once done that in my life up to that point. I got bad teeth, and I got a baby face, but I pull woman when I want them, and that's actually more than most guys can say.

Just be yourself, and if I had any advice to help you learn to love yourself I would give it but honestly it's so hard until you're willing to go easy on yourself and say things like I do look good.
I've noticed a lot of women start complimenting their curves before they complement their faces etc but my point is you can find some starting point. I wish you the best.

 

[bittersweetmatcha]

If you're up to date on my recent activity, you would've seen me asking for help on a method, but, ironically enough, here I am on the recovery section, because my brain decided it wants to give this life another chance, which I still do not and won't ever understand. I guess this starts with dealing with my terrible body dysmorphia. It may seem silly, but I genuinely want to vomit every time I look at myself in the mirror. I don't feel fat or skinny, just abhorrently horrified at the way I look. I feel sorry when others have to look at me, despite their constant reassurance that I don't look as bad as I say I do.

I don't know, maybe this is just another ridiculous post formulated by my imbalanced brain. For the record, I'm pretty sure I have some form of bipolar disorder, but I have no official medical diagnosis. Regardless of the emotional state this condition drives me to, I still feel drop dead kms on sight ugly.

Sending you warm hugs, it must have been really hard for you. I never am a confident woman too. I never post my selfie on social media. Whenever i tried to took a selfie i deleted it all because i think i'm not pretty. My husband cheated on me, found that out about 2 months ago. Now i cried everytime i look my self or my body in front of the mirror. I hate my body so much, i hate my face. I kept thinking that my husband cheated because i am ugly and unattractive and i deserved it.

Idk what to say regarding your state and mine as well.. all i could do is sending you a virtual hugs to let you know that you're not alone :')

 

[Pg.964]

I can share my experience, I have mild body dysmorphia (avoiding mirrors, no confidence, can't quite tell what I look like in my reflections, obsessed with my looks) I unfortunately don't have a solution as I'm still trying to overcome this too. What I can tell you though is that despite doing everything to become more conventionally attractive (weight loss, skin care, better haircut, contacts, better style) all of these things aren't enough and I'm realizing I'm trying to reach something impossible, it's like I hate everything about myself down to my bones, I want to become someone else so that maybe I wouldn't suffer the way I do. I guess my philosophy is that if I can't have anything good in life let me at least be attractive. Even though I've reached a higher level of attraction (according to others) I know now that I'm literally delusional and I can't exactly trust my own judgements. Sorry if this wasn't of much help :( but I truly wish you the best with your recovery <3