Does anyone have a bucket list?

[TheLastGreySky]

Yes, there are places I'd like to visit/revisit and say goodbye to- mainly landscapes including water- the sea, a river, a waterfall, a lake.

I love food, so it would be nice to eat some favourite foods before I go. I love music and film, so enjoying them for the last time would be good.

There's also a whole lot of boring shit that I'll feel I need to get done before I go though. Notes, delayed emails, tax returns up to date, stuff organised for my solicitor, preparing the area, prepaying for a cremation, making some effort to tidy and clean. I'm dreading all that but at least I'll be able to tell myself it's the last time I'll have to do it- I don't really believe in an afterlife or reincarnation.

You actually just inspired me. I think it would be a good idea for if/when I ctb to send delayed emails so when I pass away I will get to remind the people I love on their special day that I will always be there with them in spirit. My view is regardless of what comes after we die, if anything does... is that our time here is precious, and despite my self loathing consuming me, I do love the people that I've chosen to have a part of my life and IF there was a way to get "better" I would.
However, as I'm sure you know... it's not that easy. I have broken down enough and layed on the floor of my bathroom enough to know that I have genuinely struggling alone and I don't blame you if you do ctb. I also think it's important that you are able to love yourself enough to have some of your activities include self care.
I respect that.

 

[arod]

Like seriously, I think one of the most liberating things about ctb is that you at least to some degree have the ability to like without consequences for at least a short while.
Personally, I've been too depressed to have more than one other 1 item on it. I know a lot of people will want to stick to familiar things. I get that, but even if you can't do the items on your list... what are some of them? Be honest.

There are plenty of things I'd like to experience but don't think I'll live long enough to do any of them.

 

[TheLastGreySky]

There are plenty of things I'd like to experience but don't think I'll live long enough to do any of them.

That's a choice unless you're terminally ill. But, I also know that I can't exactly up and go to Japan myself.

 

[tvoisluga]

nah, already made amends with the good parts of my family. i just hope we make as many happy memories as possible before i go in the next 2-ish years probably. ok, maybe 1 thing, just get high as shit for one last time before i go i guess lol (good old mj nothing more)

 

[TheLastGreySky]

nah, already made amends with the good parts of my family. i just hope we make as many happy memories as possible before i go in the next 2-ish years probably. ok, maybe 1 thing, just get high as shit for one last time before i go i guess lol (good old mj nothing more)

Lain noo~ (jk) I respect that.

 

[tvoisluga]

Lain noo~ (jk) I respect that.

i imagined Lain saying what i did and you got me laughing in the middle of the night thank you

 

[TheLastGreySky]

i imagined Lain saying what i did and you got me laughing in the middle of the night thank you

No problem, lol. I hear many people mistake my ADHD ramblings as "charming" and well, I actually only saw Serial Experiments Lain this year, and I still can't really explain what it's about well lol.

 

[tvoisluga]

No problem, lol. I hear many people mistake my ADHD ramblings as "charming" and well, I actually only saw Serial Experiments Lain this year, and I still can't really explain what it's about well lol.

i saw it recently and honestly lost the train of thought at that roswell alien ish. still not completely sure what i watched lol, but i get the general idea, the isolation, seeing paralels to my life, getting back home to be greeted by my dad, nose buried in his phone so i sigh and connect to the internet(wired sounds cooler imo) in my room. almost kinda eery how similar it is. but i like the uniqueness of the atmosphere. it's not my fav anime of all time tbh but it stuck with me like no other. and phenomenal ost. i should rewatch it.

 

[TheLastGreySky]

i saw it recently and honestly lost the train of thought at that roswell alien ish. still not completely sure what i watched lol, but i get the general idea, the isolation, seeing paralels to my life, getting back home to be greeted by my dad, nose buried in his phone so i sigh and connect to the internet(wired sounds cooler imo) in my room. almost kinda eery how similar it is. but i like the uniqueness of the atmosphere. it's not my fav anime of all time tbh but it stuck with me like no other. and phenomenal ost. i should rewatch it.

Exactly. I can explain how it made me feel more than I can explain what it was about or the lesson that it was preaching.

 

[tvoisluga]

yup! You explained what I tried to in a simple way.