Discussion Does anyone have 0 friends or people to talk to?

[Otto]

me too,depression,social anxiety,childhood mental abuse,kept moving so I never fit in anywhere ,constantly feel judged negatively

Hi I just wanted to say thank you to the people that reacted to my post .
It means a lot, thankyou

 

[sm20]

I used to be this way, but once I got to college I was lucky enough to have randomly picked the school with one of the most active Super Smash Bros clubs in the state. I made an ok amount of friends through this. Then I got chronic tendinitis and lost my ability to play video games when I was 19. I think a lot of it was because I made the effort to better myself and start exercising and maybe bad genes. Life's unfair I guess.

 

[Roseate]

Not the person you were asking, but personally I would still be suicidal. 100%
My own lack of friends and present family is more about the lack of a support system, a lack of listening ears, a lack of love and care that I see them offer to other people, but never to me, and certainly not with the same eagerness, patience, or attentiveness.
To have my own reasons for needing to end this "life" is one thing, but to have nobody around me to confide in, to give a damn, well that really hits the shit straight out of the park and right onto my head.
It's adding insult to injury.

I don't have much friends but I do have two that are willing to listen but it doesn't really help cuz they don't get it. Even if you had friends, normal friends, it wouldn't really help. What normal person want to listen to someone talk about being suicidal with certainty? They want to live their fantasy. They want to completely ignore it. Not have it in their face or life. They can't actually deal with it. The suicidal thoughts and whatnot. One of my online friends thinks seeing a therapists and getting on meds is somehow going to magically make everything better. And the other friend, my close friend doesn't get it. He thinks it's selfish and would rather me not talk about it or about my depression thoughts. I'm just letting you know having friends doesn't always mean they're going to deal with the suicidal part the way you want them to. But it will happen. You can always talk to me. Anytime.

 

[Freedom Believer]

Yep. I haven't had a friend come to my house since 2019. I didn't want him to be around me because I didn't want to hold him back from being successful and happy. Every time I was around him I was sad, angry, or a mix of the two. Maybe one day I will see him again and see how he is doing.

 

[LastFlowers]

I don't have much friends but I do have two that are willing to listen but it doesn't really help cuz they don't get it. Even if you had friends, normal friends, it wouldn't really help. What normal person want to listen to someone talk about being suicidal with certainty? They want to live their fantasy. They want to completely ignore it. Not have it in their face or life. They can't actually deal with it. The suicidal thoughts and whatnot. One of my online friends thinks seeing a therapists and getting on meds is somehow going to magically make everything better. And the other friend, my close friend doesn't get it. He thinks it's selfish and would rather me not talk about it or about my depression thoughts. I'm just letting you know having friends doesn't always mean they're going to deal with the suicidal part the way you want them to. But it will happen. You can always talk to me. Anytime.

Huh?.. I don't have anyone even willing to truly listen and if they did, it would likely end in more turmoil for me or a "visit" to the psych ward. Not even just about the suicidal aspect (which I've already experienced interfering with a friendship, etc.), anything and everything I am on my own, to internalize until I implode.
I am well aware of everything you are telling me because I alluded to as much in my own words.
I never said I thought having friends meant they were going to deal with the suicidal part well...I said in my own comment that I have no support system and I don't even have my own family.
For anything, even interest in me as a human being.
That dealing with my reasons for CTB plus having nobody around to give a damn, as they give damns about less pressing issues for other people..is insult upon injury.
I wouldn't want just any friend or family member if it meant it was going to be the same as it is now, I want support and fair treatment.
I even said I would still be suicidal, I am not seeking out friends, been there, done that..sorry but I am confused by your response to me because I think you misinterpreted my comment..

 

[AintNoWayOut]

not irl anymore. i talk to a few people online but its obviously not the perfect substitute. my irl friends been gone for a couple of years now and it haunts me every day thinking about how i wont ever get another chance to see them. its not that we were even that close, its just that i had someone as opposed to basically no one outside of a couple of family members and some coworkers, but its not the same. and even though i wasnt that close with most of them, that could've changed... there was potential for me to do more with them and meet more people. i missed out on a lot of opportunities even when they were around due to my own physical/mental issues which made me isolate myself, and now every day i think of what could have been had things played out different. maybe i could've had a decent social life, or at the very least, just a couple of people to talk to and hang out with which is a HUGE difference from being a complete recluse. it really damages your self-esteem to be a loner. i would have ended up moving away from them regardless, but at least i'd maybe have some decent memories instead of regret and 'what if's. it definitely makes things worse, especially being young and missing out on whats meant to be some of your peak years, sitting in your room on a computer instead of going out with people and living your life.

 

[Roseate]

Huh?.. I don't have anyone even willing to truly listen and if they did, it would likely end in more turmoil for me or a "visit" to the psych ward. Not even just about the suicidal aspect (which I've already experienced interfering with a friendship, etc.), anything and everything I am on my own, to internalize until I implode.
I am well aware of everything you are telling me because I alluded to as much in my own words.
I never said I thought having friends meant they were going to deal with the suicidal part well...I said in my own comment that I have no support system and I don't even have my own family.
For anything, even interest in me as a human being.
That dealing with my reasons for CTB plus having nobody around to give a damn, as they give damns about less pressing issues for other people..is insult upon injury.
I wouldn't want just any friend or family member if it meant it was going to be the same as it is now, I want support and fair treatment.
I even said I would still be suicidal, I am not seeking out friends, been there, done that..sorry but I am confused by your response to me because I think you misinterpreted my comment..

No, I get what you're saying but ig my point is it's not that realistically possible. It's easy for them to give a shit about less important issues, easy to support someone with less issues. But I am very pessimistic so you never know you might find that support system someday. Either ways, if you ever need to talk or anything, I can be that support system. I know that's not much of an offer cuz I'm like so useless I can't help myself and I'm also awkward asf but I'll try.

 

[The Lonely]

I spend weeks, and months inside this apartment. Weeks without talking to anyone... (No calls, no on-line chatting, no video.. nothing.) Neither on line typing to anyone.

Some days I even ask myself: am I really a human being? Once I had a life! Graduated university, had boyfriend...

I would like to chat with someone. I tried to rebuild my life. In January I found a psychologist (on line because of the pandemic). She was nice but i am stopping with her.

You just can't pay for someone to Care about you.
At this level there is no way back.
Its ridiculous.

 

[Alec]

I literally have no one in real life. I can only talk to a few people I met here on this site.

 

[Canon1]

I feel the same way. Loneliness, social anxiety, deseases and emptyness make me suicidal. One day I will take my life, if nothings gets better.

 

[Lost Magic]

Yeah I am lonely and broken. I need this pain to end soon.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

It is really sad how far gone I am socially. I use to be so social and easy going before age 14. But then everyone knows the story here that has followed me my life has been nothing but crap and I lost fulfillment and desire at age 14. that is 14 years of MISERY. Traumatic life event after traumatic life event. Acne ruined my social development, I feel I'm still stuck at age 14 and never grew from there because of social insecurities, and acne. It's sad. But I'll be free soon.

 

[Pure]

I don't talk to anyone but SS about my depression and deep desire to ctb. Lol they wouldn't understand, plus it'd be tiring trauma dumping onto people. SS is the only thing keeping me sane. I would have slit my wrists (and failed) by now if this website didn't keep me in check. Evil that so many people want us shut down.

 

[Gaybonez]

I spend weeks, and months inside this apartment. Weeks without talking to anyone... (No calls, no on-line chatting, no video.. nothing.) Neither on line typing to anyone.

Some days I even ask myself: am I really a human being? Once I had a life! Graduated university, had boyfriend...

I would like to chat with someone. I tried to rebuild my life. In January I found a psychologist (on line because of the pandemic). She was nice but i am stopping with her.

You just can't pay for someone to Care about you.
At this level there is no way back.
Its ridiculous.

Loneliness, social anxiety, and having no friends is part of the reason that I'm suicidal.

I currently have zero friends but that is only because I tossed my friend of 2 years because we grew apart. I think loneliness is a bit of a complicated thing so my experience might be able to shed some light on how to deal with it.

Personally, I follow the heichary of needs shit to be happy.

1. I need food, water, sex, etc.
2. Stable housing, medications for mental health, etc.
3. I need companionship. This one is a tricky one to explain and YMMV here
4. I need to appropriately process to world and cope with it
5. I need goals and things to do

This was a bitch to figure out. I think a lot of people around here will benefit from knowing their needs and slowly inching towards satisfying even one of them.

The interesting part about me is that if I have a good emotional supply system I can be happy without a partner. What does this mean? First, I mean a good supply of sex. It's important to satisfy my carnal desires as I listed above. Second, I need a mentor/watchdog. This is someone to meet up with to track your progress in life. This can be done through a journal, a therapist, or a literal mentor. Third, I need good acquaintances (such as people I go to events with or even stay indoors with) and people I can trust to vent to about my problems (through internet forums or whatever). It's with these things I have managed to find emotional and carnal satisfaction along with happiness.

I personally have never dealt with feeling lonely in the traditional sense so YMMV here especially if you have social anxiety or whatever fucking mental problem. But loneliness for me is rare. If I don't interract with others for long periods of time (days or weeks) it just drags my mood down and I feel hungry. Hungry for attention. Attention feels like a hug for me. I think with work you can find what feels like a "hug" for you too.

To expand on the sex part. I'm the one to sleep around a few times a year. But since I do, it's important to create boundaries. I do not stick around with guys/girls that I know I will get attached to, I communicate with sexual partners for what I need, etc. If I carefully balance this shit I can satisfy the carnal side of me without too much of an issue. I personally think that if you're a man, sticking your wiener in another human and having skin to skin contact is very important. Practice safe sex, and buy a hooker if you have to. But don't go 2 years without sex. I do not think that is good for you. Personally, for me. 1-2 months between sex is good for me mentally. Anything more and I get frustrated and my mood decreases.

As you can see, happiness is something you work for. And you can also see that money makes happiness far easier to obtain. That's why I said YMMV but I would be shocked if you can't take anything away from my experiences.

TL;DR: Find your needs, satisfy them with the resources available, learn to sit with your emotions. And I'll say it again. Good sex and boundaries so you don't get attached can bring you a lot of happiness lol

 

[blackrose81]

Me.
And my sick mother is dying and my cat too for a tumor.
No money no friends and a very scary body

 

[Otto]

Me.
And my sick mother is dying and my cat too for a tumor.
No money no friends and a very scary body

Id live someone to talk to

 

[blackrose81]

Id live someone to talk to

I try to reply you in my profile but I don't know how

 

[Otto]

I try to reply you in my profile but I don't know how

I think after you post more you will be able to chat with anyone.i would have thought you could reply in your profile

 

[blackrose81]

Id live someone to talk to

No I can't.. maybe because I 'm new ‍

 

[Otto]

No I can't.. maybe because I 'm new ‍

Probably , typical I'd like to talk

 

[blackrose81]

Probably , typical I'd like to talk

I'm so sorry..

 

[Otto]

I'm so sorry..

No need to be sorry hopefully we can talk soon

 

[come to dust]

I currently have zero friends but that is only because I tossed my friend of 2 years because we grew apart. I think loneliness is a bit of a complicated thing so my experience might be able to shed some light on how to deal with it.

Personally, I follow the heichary of needs shit to be happy.

1. I need food, water, sex, etc.
2. Stable housing, medications for mental health, etc.
3. I need companionship. This one is a tricky one to explain and YMMV here
4. I need to appropriately process to world and cope with it
5. I need goals and things to do

This was a bitch to figure out. I think a lot of people around here will benefit from knowing their needs and slowly inching towards satisfying even one of them.

The interesting part about me is that if I have a good emotional supply system I can be happy without a partner. What does this mean? First, I mean a good supply of sex. It's important to satisfy my carnal desires as I listed above. Second, I need a mentor/watchdog. This is someone to meet up with to track your progress in life. This can be done through a journal, a therapist, or a literal mentor. Third, I need good acquaintances (such as people I go to events with or even stay indoors with) and people I can trust to vent to about my problems (through internet forums or whatever). It's with these things I have managed to find emotional and carnal satisfaction along with happiness.

I personally have never dealt with feeling lonely in the traditional sense so YMMV here especially if you have social anxiety or whatever fucking mental problem. But loneliness for me is rare. If I don't interract with others for long periods of time (days or weeks) it just drags my mood down and I feel hungry. Hungry for attention. Attention feels like a hug for me. I think with work you can find what feels like a "hug" for you too.

To expand on the sex part. I'm the one to sleep around a few times a year. But since I do, it's important to create boundaries. I do not stick around with guys/girls that I know I will get attached to, I communicate with sexual partners for what I need, etc. If I carefully balance this shit I can satisfy the carnal side of me without too much of an issue. I personally think that if you're a man, sticking your wiener in another human and having skin to skin contact is very important. Practice safe sex, and buy a hooker if you have to. But don't go 2 years without sex. I do not think that is good for you. Personally, for me. 1-2 months between sex is good for me mentally. Anything more and I get frustrated and my mood decreases.

As you can see, happiness is something you work for. And you can also see that money makes happiness far easier to obtain. That's why I said YMMV but I would be shocked if you can't take anything away from my experiences.

TL;DR: Find your needs, satisfy them with the resources available, learn to sit with your emotions. And I'll say it again. Good sex and boundaries so you don't get attached can bring you a lot of happiness lol

I agree that sex is important for many but I don't think it's this easy for unattractive people to necessarily have this much sex.

 

[The Tablet]

absolutely, 100%. i have "friends", i suppose, but they're online, in other countries, and probably don't want to hear me whine about being suicidal for the millionth time LOL. it's hard to make friends irl because almost nobody is interested in the same things i am, and any "friends" i had at school have long since forgotten about me.

it's odd, because i was the "popular" kid at one point. i had musical "talent" and passable drawing and writing skills. i'm not bringing this up to toot my own horn, but rather because it goes to show that you can have "everything" and still get fucked daily by depression.

i've lost my passion for drawing. nothing's there to motivate me except for tiny spur of the moment sparks that fizzle out within minutes. i barely play my instruments anymore, cuz every time i try, i'm reminded of how much i suck at it.

anyways, i kinda went on a tangent, sorry. but i will say this: i hope someday you'll find that place where you belong, whether it's here or irl. <3

Id live someone to talk to

me too, but alas, i have 0 social skills...

 

[BrokenLine]

Loneliness, social anxiety, and having no friends is part of the reason that I'm suicidal.

yes I have 0 friends. Talking to people I do try with some people but at the end of the day it really doesn't matter, I'm always left on my own. And yes stupidly I still try but i really shouldn't.

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

I feel the same way. Loneliness, social anxiety, deseases and emptyness make me suicidal. One day I will take my life, if nothings gets better.

Me too. I'm sorry you also have been dealt such a (horrible) hand in life.

yes I have 0 friends. Talking to people I do try with some people but at the end of the day it really doesn't matter, I'm always left on my own. And yes stupidly I still try but i really shouldn't.

I relate to this. I (stupidly, naively) tried again just recently to re-establish a friendship with a person I'd known many years ago and who came back into my life a few months ago but after texting only, and a few emails, over a couple months we finally spoke on the phone a week or so ago and while I didn't go into details about my problems in life during our phone conversation (I learned my lesson about THAT), I was candid enough to mention that I have poor physical health and also struggle with depression and anxiety. Have barely heard from that person again except for a few short, one or two sentence texts that mostly just say how 'busy' they are. Total change in tone and disposition compared to how it was before the phone call. Again my belief that I'm a loser that nobody wants anything to do with is validated. I'm never trying with anyone ever again. The insult and hurt isn't worth it.

 

[Gaybonez]

I agree that sex is important for many but I don't think it's this easy for unattractive people to necessarily have this much sex.

That's where the prostitutes come in. If you can't afford them then I guess just use your hand and prioritize your other needs.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I haven't made any new friends. It's sad.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

Me.
And my sick mother is dying and my cat too for a tumor.
No money no friends and a very scary body

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom and your cat. No money and no friends is very hard...I relate to no money and no friends and I really miss and feel guilty about my cats.

 

[come to dust]

That's where the prostitutes come in. If you can't afford them then I guess just use your hand and prioritize your other needs.

And what if you're poor and ugly? Prostitutes are expensive and also not accessible everywhere. Ugly people are statistically less likely to get well paid jobs btw

I think some of these needs are just inaccessible for swathes of the population and its not that easy o follow a life plan . Hence many here wanting to die