Does anyone hate or even get more depressed during the transition from winter to summer?

[NoPoint2Life]

I've never been a fan of summer other than when I was a kid and we got the whole summer off from school. I mainly don't like it because I despise being hot.

But in recent years, due to my circumstances, I have actually found it kind of depressing. Most people will say going from summer/fall to winter makes them depressed, especially due to lack of sunlight. I totally get it. I hated commuting in the dark when I worked. Waiting for a bus on a cold windy day was horrible. But now I haven't worked in about six years due to moving/ my OCD/help take care of my sick mother. This year I feel like I'm dreading it even more. I thought going from February to March was bad but I can't believe we are about to be in April. Everyone else is thrilled that it will be lighter later and the weather is warmer. Not me. Even when I worked, I went to bed on the earlier side. Can't tell you how many times the sun had not fully set. And now I go to bed absurdly early so it's even more strange.
It's just something that I feel has always made me even more of a freak. There's no special activities I want to do so it's not like I suddenly want to go outside.

It doesn't help that two summers ago was my worst time with my OCD/depression/ctb thoughts. I was completely miserable and it's like I can't get that memory out of my head as summer approaches again.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm pretty much the same all year long.

 

[pauly369]

The suicide rate peaks during spring.
Its a wierd phenomenon.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

I live in a sub tropical place now so my winter SAD (seasonal affective disorder) has switched to spring/summer. I hear you OP

 

[divinemistress87]

Not a fan of spring and I hate Summer hate sweating and how bright and peopley it is

 

[saturn1402]

it's my first time being depressed/suicidal. Winter was still manageable - bad weather and dark days made me feel invisible which was nice. But spring brings the laughter, the plans, the sunlight which only makes the darkness inside me feel heavier. It's like the whole world is moving forward while I'm sinking, trapped in a place no one else can see. The pressure to be happy, to "make the most" of the season, feels suffocating. I want to feel what they feel, to belong in their world, but I can't do it anymore

 

[opheliaoveragain]

it's my first time being depressed/suicidal. Winter was still manageable - bad weather and dark days made me feel invisible which was nice. But spring brings the laughter, the plans, the sunlight which only makes the darkness inside me feel heavier. It's like the whole world is moving forward while I'm sinking, trapped in a place no one else can see. The pressure to be happy, to "make the most" of the season, feels suffocating. I want to feel what they feel, to belong in their world, but I can't do it anymore

wow. I really can relate to your words about spring. I feel the same. everyone is moving and i'm sinking and no one sees it.

the pressure to do things and make plans and be happy is fucking exhausting

 

[Flirtingwithdemons]

Yessss! I fucking despise summer. Showing my bare legs icks me out, the heat is so uncomfortable, and there's that weird unspoken pressure to be happy and to be doing stuff. Thinking about its imminent arrival is depressing me too atm, you're definitely not alone in feeling this way.

 

[thesadprincess]

I understand you. I am starting to have panic attacks because i see sumer coming. I start feeling better when september arrives.

 

[KillingPain267]

Yup. I'm a night owl, so all the light doesn't suit me. Sunny weather also reminds me of good times that I can never get back, so it gives me crippling nostalgia and I cry. It hurts so much that I seek drugs to numb my emotions, so the combination of sad nostalgia and insomnia from light will likely make me relapse hard on drugs and alcohol again which is why I must kill myself before the summer has fully arrived. I do NOT wanna repeat what happened last year's summer.

 

[ihatemyselfwanttodi]

I think April is like the most popular time of year for suicide.

 

[Ijustcantanymore]

Yes! I have the opposite of SAD. winter does not make me depressed. Summer does though.

I'm much more depressed and anxious in the summer. Because there is more expectation.

You're supposed to be outside, having fun doing summer activities. It's taboo to stay inside. The world is busier and more noisy, more overstimulating. And just the ramp up of consumerism during the summer is just so disgusting to witness.

I hate it. It's the worst 3 months of the year to me.