Does anyone get fed up with people on here?

[Sweet emotion]

Does anyone ever read someones posts and get aggravated? I mean are most people on here to just piss and moan or to actually do something about it? And I don't mean suicide. I mean actually getting some help. My issue is physical and can't be helped but there are so many people on here complaining....I hate this, I hate that. I'm antisocial and no one wants to talk to me. My life is over because my ex broke up with me. I mean what has happened to the human spirit now a days? The smallest problem and everyone wants to die! They don't want to be on medication or talk to a therapist. So what do you expect people to do for you? Let's be honest. No one on this page really wants to die. They want to complain and not do anything about it.

 

[UninformedLover]

Bruh...

 

[Uninspired]

Well i wouldnt call it being fed up as i dont rlly care about these forum posts and just ignore them. In my opinion they can ctb for whatever reason they want. Its theire decision. But i agree, there are a lot of people that are too emotional, impulsive and fragile. Ctb shouldnt be the first thing coming to mind after failing an university course or because of a break up. On the other hand what did you expect of a place like this? Its a place of exchange for suicidal people which in most cases are emotionally vulnerable and not overly rational. People without any need for venting or emotional outbreaks are rather rare i would guess.

 

[Final Escape]

I'm guilty of this. It's just time to recover or die and since all I do is never make real progress I need to end it. Sanctioned suicide time limit is up for me lol! If it's not happening by now it's never happening. I can't remain in this loop of hell im in.

 

[Mr2005]

All the fucking time

 

[mediocre]

Yes I do get annoyed sometimes especially when I see people talking about their relationships. I've rolled my eyes a few times at some of the posts and thought oh this person is so overly dramatic! But then I kind of think I don't know their situation. This person could be dealing with serious mental illness and really feel like their world is ending however small and insignificant it may seem to us.

 

[Woodnote]

No. At least not for that. I'm not here to judge anyone's reasons for being suicidal. Just because someone's been through less than me that doesn't mean their pain is any less real than mine. I support everyone here.

 

[SinisterKid]

When I first arrived here, the answer was a unequivocal yes. But one comment from one member pointing out how judgemental my response was, that was enough to make me stop and think twice. I also have to say that my mental state at the time was not great, hence ending up here. But as my mindset has improved, my view of members issues has changed.

I think in my short time here, I have felt and expressed just about every single human emotion. I am not here to judge anyone, I am here to help anyone in any way I can and support them in the choices that they make.

 

[Hexen]

True to some degree. There was someone who complained about not being tall enough when he was already tall. That to me is retarded and what you are saying can be applied there. There are also some people that remind me of those stupid emo girls back in 2007. However, there are people who deal with psychological problems which are caused by physical appearance, being poor, social anxiety or medical issues. Being this way is hard and sometimes it helps if those people vent so they write it down in order to get it out. I admit I am kind of retarded because I am not doing anything to fix my own situation but thats on me.

 

[BPD_LE]

Many here have tried to get help for mental health issues, but have been unable due to the inadequate structure or lack of funding amongst health care systems. Others here have been in therapy for years and taken every psychotropic medication offered to them in an attempt to get better, with no success. Who can judge if your physical pain is worse than someone's mental pain. To judge people this way is unhelpful to all. Accepting someone is in pain and being compassionate, even if you don't understand, is a kinder thing to do. And if you can't do that, just skip the thread.

 

[Fragile]

i live with a shitty genetic condition and treatment ressistant mental issues, i've tried to get help for over 10 years and all that was for nothing in the end, only side effects and and even more fragile body is all that remains.

i have to admit that some times i roll my eyes when someone mentions that their entire reason for being here is a breakup or something similar, but one thing that i understand more than anything is pain, and pain is extremely subjective, i can relate to feeling so bad that i want to end it all and feeling so down that i can't picture a better future. even if i think that some reasons are beyond petty, i can't bring myself to judge them too much, they didn't choose to have those situations and the pain they feel is just as valid as mine, even if their lives are objectively better some times.

i agree that they should seek treatment, health, support from others, but that's entirely up to them and i respect if they choose to not go through all of that, the future is uncertain and there is no guarantee that they will find that help and even if they do, it may not solve what they are here for. and at the end of the day, this is a pro choice forum.

i get that pain and despair can make us jaded towards other peoples problems and look down uppon them, but we should never forget empathy, and finding peace one way or the other is something that we should all help each other reach, even simple words of encouragement can make a world of difference in some peoples lives. making them feel even worse for not having it as bad as some of us is the opposite of helping, and that's what pro lifers love to do when they mention that every 60 second a minute goes by in africa and that there are quadraplegic people living full lives, if we really want to help people with seemingly "minor" problems in life, the first step is listening to them, offer a shoulder to cry on and then recommend alternatives, because when we fall deep down in a hole where we can no longer see the light, only empathy anc compassion can reach through that void and maybe bring another perspective.

that's why i love this place so much.

 

[Conker]

No, I don't get fed up with anyone here. Just because someone's pain is different or not as physically awful as yours doesn't automatically invalidate what they're going through. I do know chronic physical pain can make you much more easily irritated than a life without it.

 

[Daniela]

One of the biggest driving factors behind my brother's suicide was - wait for it - mild gynecomastia.

(Then again he was diagnosed with MDD)

A young man whose physical beauty is remarked upon in my hometown to this day (16 years later). When I'm introduced as "so and so's sister" they still say, "Oh! The boy with the face of an angel."

There's his intellectualism as well. A plaque with a very pretentious quote appears in my brother's burial site right now ("To know means to die" or something). If you play his game, I think his so-called "deformity" was also supposed to be a metaphor.

 

[puppy9]

So meta

 

[Sweet emotion]

True to some degree. There was someone who complained about not being tall enough when he was already tall. That to me is retarded and what you are saying can be applied there. There are also some people that remind me of those stupid emo girls back in 2007. However, there are people who deal with psychological problems which are caused by physical appearance, being poor, social anxiety or medical issues. Being this way is hard and sometimes it helps if those people vent so they write it down in order to get it out. I admit I am kind of retarded because I am not doing anything to fix my own situation but thats on me.

Omg! Yes I remember that one too! I mean come on!

True to some degree. There was someone who complained about not being tall enough when he was already tall. That to me is retarded and what you are saying can be applied there. There are also some people that remind me of those stupid emo girls back in 2007. However, there are people who deal with psychological problems which are caused by physical appearance, being poor, social anxiety or medical issues. Being this way is hard and sometimes it helps if those people vent so they write it down in order to get it out. I admit I am kind of retarded because I am not doing anything to fix my own situation but thats on me.

See I'm not being rude but that is what I don't understand. If you're miserable and are able to fix your situation why don't you? Do you enjoy misery?

No, I don't get fed up with anyone here. Just because someone's pain is different or not as physically awful as yours doesn't automatically invalidate what they're going through. I do know chronic physical pain can make you much more easily irritated than a life without it.

Yes you're definitely correct about that.

 

[LivingToLong]

Sometimes. Sometimes I get fed up with people on here getting fed with people on here ;)

Guess I'm fed up with myself then...which is true, yep, yep, yep

 

[Eternal Pessimist]

See I'm not being rude but that is what I don't understand. If you're miserable and are able to fix your situation why don't you? Do you enjoy misery?

Sometimes in the midst of depression even a relatively simple fix can seem incredibly difficult to do and maybe you can't even see the fix because you're so depressed. Many depressed people also get so used to their depression that change can seem threatening even if change would mean being happy. I've been depressed for so long by now that I honestly cannot remember what it feels like to not be depressed and to be content with life. Depression is so much a part of who I am by now that getting better is actually frightening, because getting rid of the depression would mean getting rid of such a huge part of who I am. Even if it would mean being able to feel content again I don't know who I would be without my depression, and that's scary.

Although I do occasionally feel like rolling my eyes a bit when I read about some people's reasons to ctb here I try to remind myself that it's all subjective. What might feel insignificant to me might be incredibly painful for someone and the felt experience of emotional pain that the person has might be just as strong as I have over something that I consider to be much more serious.

 

[Soul]

This forum is a place to practice compassion. If there are times when I can't summon any I take a break.

 

[Sweet emotion]

This forum is a place to practice compassion. If there are times when I can't summon any I take a break.

You're right and I know this post seems so insensitive and cruel. I think that since I have the highest ranking pain condition in medical history, I find some people's complaints ridiculous. I have physical pain that grows stronger as the years go by and I've missed out on my life. I can sympathize with many people's pain..those who have been raped and beaten as children. But when someone wants to die because they find the human body disgusting, I think they're just plain off in the head and I say to myself oh God stop complaining and just do it already. Or like the guy that wanted to die because he want tall enough. That is when I think to myself...really? You're able to go out and have a life and a job and make friends and find love and this is the bullshit you're being bothered by?

I have been very compassionate with many people and have had a lot of private conversations with people who have been absolutely wonderful to me and have comforted me and have been there when I have needed them. And you're right. I do need a break. Because right now I can't summon any compassion for anyone. I think that is a great idea and thank you for giving me that advice.

Sometimes. Sometimes I get fed up with people on here getting fed with people on here ;)

Guess I'm fed up with myself then...which is true, yep, yep, yep

Aaahhh I see what you did there haha.

 

[Misanthrope]

Yes and no. The yes comes from my view that it is sensible to rule out physical issues, and attempt at options that exist before settling on suicide as a solution. As suicide as a choice is not going anywhere. It is frustrating seeing some members telling other members how doomed they are because of their own experiences, so they shouldn't risk it. Like their experience will be theirs as if they are a psychic able to predict the outcome of a person yet to try. But then this site is going to attract a negativity bias, I don't think it can be helped.

It is frustrating seeing entire professions denigrated like they are all the same. I was damaged by my doctor, but do not assume all doctors will damage me. For the exact same reason, I don't assume all suicidal people will shoot up schools because some have.

Some of it is my own envy at work, of physically healthy people having so much potential to overcome things that are not set in medical stone. That though is my projection at work. Is this thread yours? However. mental health has its own variant of stone. When you are told you are treatment-resistant and you should focus on quality of life concerns. Plenty of members here have definitely reached that point. That brings its own pain and justifiable hopelessness.

The no. The no comes from understanding pain is unique to everyone. The capacity to cope is equally unique. The circumstances a person is in also unique. How well they articulate the problem is also variable. Some people focus on a trivial issue instead of something far worse as a method to cope. One of my clients killed themselves seemingly over Acne. Long term sustained injuries told a very different story.

Since I am not a psychic either, with mind-reading powers I can use on forum members. I view it as impolite to judge others based on what I don't know. I also keep in mind the phenomena of learned helplessness. Something you might want to look into if you want to understand why people remain on here caught in limbo between trying at life or dying but choosing neither. Whilst venting about what they hate only to realise a year has gone by. It is also social media, people are going to vent about what they hate, that is a given and potentially a useful outlet.

Pretty good article on learned helplessness here. It is utterly horrific.

https://youarenotsosmart.com/2009/11/11/learned-helplessness/

Loss of something you value is a sharp pain. It does not matter if it is your forty-year long marriage partner. A former boyfriend you are smitten with or your pet hamster. Loss hurts if what you had was valuable. At that moment that hurt can feel eternal even though it is not.

Being in states of deprivation is an erosive pain. I am not just talking basic needs either. It would seem so many members here are barely on Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Living in chronic states of fear which ensures greater loneliness and makes it harder to even access help as you are quite literally in your own way. It doesn't help if that help is also something you fear or is in a broken state to begin with.

It is a bit outdated now but another thing worth examining.

https://www.thoughtco.com/maslows-hierarchy-of-needs-4582571

Hopefully some food for thought and you will come back with restored compassion, sad to see you lose some of that.

 

[noctiva]

Pain is a concept that the brain creates. Social pain and physical pain are processed similarly in the brain and as such the body cannot distinguish well between the two. Pain scales that 'measure' pain are arbitrary, every person has a subjective pain scale and needs to work with that and that alone.
People here, including myself, don't necessary tell you their full story, only the part that 'broke the camels back', if you so want. Would you feel better to hear about my abusive mother? How I was raped at 11? And again at 24? How I was married to abusive alcoholic in my 20s? How I've gone to therapy for 12+ years to fix myself to no avail? I don't think that that would lead to more understanding and compassion. That is also not the reason, but additional and confounding factors. No one kills themselves over their partner, people kill themselves to not feel pain anymore, and that is valid, no matter the source of the pain.

 

[a_strange_day]

Honestly yes, but I do exactly what I'd do irl, I stay quiet and keep going until I find a place where I feel better. Live and let live.

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

I'm probably guilty of this the difference I'm talking to a therapist and on meds but relapse by my own choice of vaping non CBD, non THC, non Nicotine. My problems are my own are based off of past abuse and letting other people control me.

 

[Hexen]

Omg! Yes I remember that one too! I mean come on!

See I'm not being rude but that is what I don't understand. If you're miserable and are able to fix your situation why don't you? Do you enjoy misery?

Yes you're definitely correct about that.

I think it is possible to change my current state but in order to do that I have to insert some different programming in myself. So I have to change my opinions and change my perception which I don't think it is possible. For example: If I know something happened I can't just forget it and move on. It will always be true for me even if other people don't see it. I have to gain ability to accept all of these bad things that happened to me and I can't do that because everytime I look in the mirror I start feeling terrible. I will feel terrible regardless of where I am. It also has to do with just seeing what the future holds and having no interest in participating in suffering that is already bad and that is only going to get worse as I grow old. That stuff leaves you paralyzed and terrified without no motivation to move on and so you are unsure whether to stay or to blow your head off.

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

I think it is possible to change my current state but in order to do that I have to insert some different programming in myself. So I have to change my opinions and change my perception which I don't think it is possible. For example: If I know something happened I can't just forget it and move on. It will always be true for me even if other people don't see it. I have to gain ability to accept all of these bad things that happened to me and I can't do that because everytime I look in the mirror I start feeling terrible. I will feel terrible regardless of where I am. It also has to do with just seeing what the future holds and having no interest in participating in suffering that is already bad and that is only going to get worse as I grow old. That stuff leaves you paralyzed and terrified without no motivation to move on and so you are unsure whether to stay or to blow your head off.

With all the suicide attempts I've done regardless of my "support network or no support network admits it" I could've been gone a long time ago but after reading what you posted this seems relatable to me despite the different circumstances.

 

[MeltingHeart]

Yes and no. The yes comes from my view that it is sensible to rule out physical issues, and attempt at options that exist before settling on suicide as a solution. As suicide as a choice is not going anywhere. It is frustrating seeing some members telling other members how doomed they are because of their own experiences, so they shouldn't risk it. Like their experience will be theirs as if they are a psychic able to predict the outcome of a person yet to try. But then this site is going to attract a negativity bias, I don't think it can be helped.

It is frustrating seeing entire professions denigrated like they are all the same. I was damaged by my doctor, but do not assume all doctors will damage me. For the exact same reason, I don't assume all suicidal people will shoot up schools because some have.

Some of it is my own envy at work, of physically healthy people having so much potential to overcome things that are not set in medical stone. That though is my projection at work. Is this thread yours? However. mental health has its own variant of stone. When you are told you are treatment-resistant and you should focus on quality of life concerns. Plenty of members here have definitely reached that point. That brings its own pain and justifiable hopelessness.

The no. The no comes from understanding pain is unique to everyone. The capacity to cope is equally unique. The circumstances a person is in also unique. How well they articulate the problem is also variable. Some people focus on a trivial issue instead of something far worse as a method to cope. One of my clients killed themselves seemingly over Acne. Long term sustained injuries told a very different story.

Since I am not a psychic either, with mind-reading powers I can use on forum members. I view it as impolite to judge others based on what I don't know. I also keep in mind the phenomena of learned helplessness. Something you might want to look into if you want to understand why people remain on here caught in limbo between trying at life or dying but choosing neither. Whilst venting about what they hate only to realise a year has gone by. It is also social media, people are going to vent about what they hate, that is a given and potentially a useful outlet.

Pretty good article on learned helplessness here. It is utterly horrific.

https://youarenotsosmart.com/2009/11/11/learned-helplessness/

Loss of something you value is a sharp pain. It does not matter if it is your forty-year long marriage partner. A former boyfriend you are smitten with or your pet hamster. Loss hurts if what you had was valuable. At that moment that hurt can feel eternal even though it is not.

Being in states of deprivation is an erosive pain. I am not just talking basic needs either. It would seem so many members here are barely on Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Living in chronic states of fear which ensures greater loneliness and makes it harder to even access help as you are quite literally in your own way. It doesn't help if that help is also something you fear or is in a broken state to begin with.

It is a bit outdated now but another thing worth examining.

https://www.thoughtco.com/maslows-hierarchy-of-needs-4582571

Hopefully some food for thought and you will come back with restored compassion, sad to see you lose some of that.

that learned helplessness study is quite terrifying-but it does make alot sense, it's like you just begin to accept yr fate, you kind of give up, if pain/suffering is what you know-it becomes your nomality-and I guess people that have been 'ground' down in that way-may be so fearful of change, or the unknown even if that 'unknown' future could provide them with escape, it's like a of cognitive dissonance of sorts- like the bad situation-offers a false 'comfort' purely by merit of familiarity- rather than the daunting task of facing a whole new set of circumstances that you can not say for sure will be better, also- as in the case of abuse victims- people whos sense of self is so destroyed- they even feel that it is what they deserve, they dont know how to have compassion for themselves, or how to live any other way, they may even be distrusting of people that treat them kindly and gently- as they do not understand it- though in time hopefully that can be learned- as can the ability to enjoy some happiness and feel a little less helpless.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I sometimes get annoyed with people with whom I can't identify. Then I try and remember everyone's pain is personal.

People come on here to bitch and moan sure. Me included. People can feel trapped in the limbo of wanting to recover but being unable to, whether through lack of motivation due to depression or from just giving up due to physical exhaustion. The alternative is to ctb. But not everyone can do that. So they can't go forward and can't go back and are stuck going round and round. Many venting posts reflect this.

It can also be exhausting trying to support someone. Post after post of desperate people some of which you can't really identify with, how do you offer support to everyone, especially when you may be suffering yourself?

I just do what I can, when I can. I try to tolerate other people's perspectives and rants as I hope they will tolerate mine. If I have nothing to add, then I add nothing.

 

[SoupSnakes]

Absolutely not. We don't know everyone's individual reason for ending up on this site but at the end of the day, we've all ended up here.

The discussions people have on here could be the only people they talk to at all. I know I go some days not talking to anyone except for the odd chat on here. Everyone deals with their mental health in different ways and I can't imagine it's made any better or any easier with the likes of you complaining that they're having a moan about it or the reason they're here isn't good enough for you.

I could very easily be like you and say "yes, we get it, you have a pain condition, it's all you bang on about", but who am I to complain about what you want to discuss? No one. That's who. So take a note and remember everyone suffers differently.

 

[BlueWidow]

I didn't know this was a competition, or I would have worn my evening gown. I didn't realize we were all in a contest here to see who had the best or "most justifiable" reason to ctb. It's very easy to judge other people when you've never walked in their shoes. This is honestly the last place on earth I thought I would find myself having to justify my reasons for wanting to ctb or having to conform to someone else's ideas of what is a "good enough" reason and what isn't.
I think most people come here both to vent and to seek compassion and understanding because they're not getting that IRL. I know I originally came here to find like minded people that I could commiserate with and share similar experiences with. I didn't realize there was a hierarchy of pain and that some people's pain was more valid than other people's pain. I agree with noctiva that none of us can possibly know the entire extent of another person's pain because most don't share their entire story on this forum. I know I personally would never be able to share my entire story because it's long and would probably take up several entire threads.
Also, you can never truly know someone just from an Internet post. I also wonder who made anyone on this forum the judge and jury as to who has and who has not tried hard enough to get well or get a better life or whatever. I've been coming here because I thought this is the one place I could come to vent and express myself and I would not be judged, condescended to, or have people overreact to my thoughts and expressions and try to save me when I don't wish to be saved.
I'm extremely disappointed. I understand it can be hard to listen to others who you can't relate to and don't understand what they're going through. In my case, if I don't understand what someone is going through, then I don't post on that thread.
The OP has a severely painful and untreatable illness. My heart breaks for her. I can understand how it could be hard to find compassion for people who "only have mental issues" when you are in severe physical pain all the time. I'm sure that could make you believe that the people in mental pain should just suck it up and move on with their lives because you don't have that ability.
However, mental pain is not that easy, even though most people try to make it seem like it is. I'm here to tell you it's not. And this is one of the exact reasons why it makes it so difficult because people are always dismissing and belittling your pain because it's not physical and there's no way to measure it with any kind of medical test or anything. All you can do is take the person's word for it, and I don't know about other people, but I personally would not go around in the condition that I'm in if there was any way to treat it. I've done every treatment there is practically, at least the ones that I can afford, and nothing has come of any of them. I get very upset and angry when people tell me that I haven't tried hard enough because I get told that all the time by people in my real life. The last thing I need is to hear that crap from people on this forum. I'm not saying I've ever suffered physical pain on the level that you are suffering, but I have had my fair share of physical pain. There is mental pain that can be just as debilitating as physical pain. The fact that I'm even having to debate this or have this discussion on this forum makes me think perhaps I'm in the wrong place. I'm trying to understand the OP's perspective, but also understand that everyone's pain is different and everyone experiences their pain in different ways and no one's pain is any more valid than anyone else's, no matter where it comes from or how it manifests itself.
Perhaps you should go to a pro life forum instead. They apparently don't think people with mental illnesses should be taken seriously or treated with compassion either.

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

Honestly, I think it depends on people, ourselves, sure I can rationalize catching the bus or if I wanted to be so blunt and simply type commit suicide for there are reasons why I could justify to myself maybe not to others but I know I can't do anymore suicide attempts or search for a suicide partner for I actually got arrested before trying to find a way out with someone sure I live by the tracks and go out that way but I still hesitate because I still have the will to live and still have a life to look forward too despite my past sins.

It all depends on person to person everyone's pain is unique each mental case is different and psychical condition is also different so it is a yes and no point of view someone else posted a good point on a yes and no standpoint.