does anyone feel really embarrassed to CTB

[dolphin]

I'm really anxious about dying. I'm currently obsessing over every stupid thing I've ever said/ done and I'm worried that the police are going to find out and it will be discussed in relation to my death and everyone will make fun of me. Please tell me I'm being excessive??
Also, my privacy will be somewhat respected, right?? My name isn't going to be immediately published in the newspaper (I'm assuming my family would prevent this anyway). I hate the fact that other people will have to be involved after my death and I'm going to make so much work for the police, my psychiatrist, etc.

 

[Weems]

Yeah. Luckily I've dropped out of society enough that few people will hear about it.

 

[Meretlein]

The police will just do a quick investigation to make sure you weren't murdered. Your family will problem comb through your digital history. It's not going to be some huge media field day.

 

[tomz323]

A little yes

 

[GHOST99]

Yeah, I don't want my suicide to be discussed by anyone- especially ppl who will claim to have 'known me'/act like my death affected them and just use me as a conversation piece to make themselves look good.

 

[whyidon'tknow]

used to have thoughts like your which stopped me as well. Eventually you just have to not put too much weight on these thoughts and do what is best for you

 

[Kjo]

This thread... Yes. So much yes.

My best friend committed suicide and it seemed like everyone came out of the woodworks to say how much they loved her, when they hardly knew her name. The funeral was packed with so many strangers that were legit texting and laughing during the ceremony. I hate the amount of "care" that people show after someone dies. Gawd knows they all needed several days of "healing" afterwards too. It was quite disgusting.

 

[TowerUpright]

Ask yourself this - have you ever seen in the news or a legitimate website where people nitpick everything a person who has committed suicide has ever done / made fun of them? And if so, how many other suicides have been written about where this did not happen? For me, the first number is zero.

What I'm trying to say is that people rarely, if ever, criticize decisions someone has made in the past in an obituary. I would say it's more likely to happen with celebrities.

Your Mileage May Vary.

This thread... Yes. So much yes.

My best friend committed suicide and it seemed like everyone came out of the woodworks to say how much they loved her, when they hardly knew her name. The funeral was packed with so many strangers that were legit texting and laughing during the ceremony. I hate the amount of "care" that people show after someone dies. Gawd knows they all needed several days of "healing" afterwards too. It was quite disgusting.

Laughing at a funeral / burial? Wow. That's new lows I've never heard of before. I'd place less weight on texting in a church / funeral home - it's disrespectful, but not uncommon.

The people coming out of the woodwork when someone commits suicide reminds me of the movie Heathers... Sadly.

 

[dolphin]

Thanks guys. I'm just a super anxious person.

Ask yourself this - have you ever seen in the news or a legitimate website where people nitpick everything a person who has committed suicide has ever done / made fun of them? And if so, how many other suicides have been written about where this did not happen? For me, the first number is zero.

What I'm trying to say is that people rarely, if ever, criticize decisions someone has made in the past in an obituary. I would say it's more likely to happen with celebrities.

Your Mileage May Vary.

That's very true. I hope that is the case with me.

 

[Extremly kind <3]

It depends on the method I would not if I have access to cyanide or nembutal drifting peacefully away while asleep

 

[StupidLizard]

Yes, I am paranoid about it as well. I'm highly anxious of photographs of myself posted in newspapers or online media. I would hope my family would not release such details, and deny all outside media interest.

I seldom use my real name online. I always go by an alias. So, I guess its unlikely that any of my online friends will ever connect the death to me, unless it was a method that is unusual and characteristic to someone like myself, in addition to my location.

 

[jake3d]

I'm a bit afraid my mother will go after my ex-gf, but that is all.

 

[Numbtopain97]

yes very much

 

[Partial-Elf]

I just worry how much it'll damage the communities I'm a part of. I also worry about family and police going back over my digital history... don't really want them reading my posts here or looking at my porn watching habits

 

[Phoenix1990]

I feel like I've failed at life. I wish that there was a way that I could have overcome my demons, but I've tried numerous ways to fight the battle of my life, but my mind and body cannot take any more blows. I'm just about done. I know I have a life that some would say is worth living, but past trauma, which led to mental illness, has won. I'm devastated just thinking about how my love ones will feel once I'm dead, but I cannot go on for much longer just for them. I feel bad for all the people that have tried to help me, but I know on some level that I have always been beyond help. The damage had already been done a long time ago. To say I'm scared to die is an understatement, but I'm also looking forward to being no more. I'm sorry, I'm truly sorry for not having the inner strength to continue. This is not how I thought my life would have turned out. As my end date is fast approaching, I feel.... well I'm not exactly sure. Lost maybe. I've had a good run, but all things come to an end. Much love to you all. I'm sorry you all have found yourself here.

 

[Baskol1]

No because i dont care what others would think, besides i would be dead. So i could not even care if i wanted to. And most people dont care about suicidal people. Especially if you are not a celebrity or well known where you live. If you are, well then yes some people might say things about you if youre dead but who cares?

 

[Soulless_Angel]

I have thought about this too, I know when I do, my husband is going to go after a couple people in revenge, as hes so angry at them (one raped me but I refuse to make it a police matter)
I worry about my digital history, but plan to change all my passwords to obscure ones and deactivate everything, clear everything, fuck it factory reset my laptop I don't care.
What people say about me I don't care, I am already hated, so makes no difference to me, I guess my major concern is being still a burden even when not here on the cops and other services. that's the bit I feel awkward about

 

[Baskol1]

Hated by whom, and why?

 

[Etherealdignity333]

Maybe I'm a fucking weirdo, but every time any anxieties come up about what life after me will look like, and how I'll be remembered... I soothe myself by remembering that I'll be dead and I literally won't know or care at all.

 

[Mr2005]

^
I feel that way about all the things keeping me here. Doing it now feels like a matter of self respect

 

[NotOfThisEarth]

I feel like I've failed at life. I wish that there was a way that I could have overcome my demons, but I've tried numerous ways to fight the battle of my life, but my mind and body cannot take any more blows. I'm just about done. I know I have a life that some would say is worth living, but past trauma, which led to mental illness, has won. I'm devastated just thinking about how my love ones will feel once I'm dead, but I cannot go on for much longer just for them. I feel bad for all the people that have tried to help me, but I know on some level that I have always been beyond help. The damage had already been done a long time ago. To say I'm scared to die is an understatement, but I'm also looking forward to being no more. I'm sorry, I'm truly sorry for not having the inner strength to continue. This is not how I thought my life would have turned out. As my end date is fast approaching, I feel.... well I'm not exactly sure. Lost maybe. I've had a good run, but all things come to an end. Much love to you all. I'm sorry you all have found yourself here.

Wow. I feel like I wrote this. It's exactly my life.

 

[Ruffian]

I just worry how much it'll damage the communities I'm a part of. I also worry about family and police going back over my digital history... don't really want them reading my posts here or looking at my porn watching habits

I know!! Actually the lack of porn and the huge amount of nerd research would be embarrassing for me. Why all the Wikileaks?

 

[Jessica5]

Your suicide won't make the newspapers unless it's by jumping. And even then it's a maybe. I've seen some Reddit threads where people discuss being stuck in traffic jams after suicide jumps, and are rather surprised when they don't see anything about the suicide in the next day's newspaper.

 

[Lookingforabus]

Your suicide won't make the newspapers unless it's by jumping. And even then it's a maybe.

Depends where you are and how you go. In my city, there's a story every week or so in the local press about a local person committing suicide. They generally don't name names, but there was an accused sexual predator who killed himself in jail, a minor local celebrity and someone who went in very splashy, public way who got named within the last year or so... and now that I think about it, when someone is reported missing to the police and is found to have committed suicide, they always get named, too.

 

[littlelady774]

I just worry how much it'll damage the communities I'm a part of. I also worry about family and police going back over my digital history... don't really want them reading my posts here or looking at my porn watching habits

Oh dang... can't you delete your history though?

 

[21Neberg]

I'm really anxious about dying. I'm currently obsessing over every stupid thing I've ever said/ done and I'm worried that the police are going to find out and it will be discussed in relation to my death and everyone will make fun of me. Please tell me I'm being excessive??
Also, my privacy will be somewhat respected, right?? My name isn't going to be immediately published in the newspaper (I'm assuming my family would prevent this anyway). I hate the fact that other people will have to be involved after my death and I'm going to make so much work for the police, my psychiatrist, etc.

Hey, calm down. It'll be allright - police won't waste resources searching through your history when it's clear you weren't murdered. And stop worrying about all the things you've done and said! I worry about it too, but the truth is that it's all in the past. We can't change it, and we can't let it bog us down now. Wishing you a good week.

 

[Final Escape]

I do find it humiliating for some reason. It kind of feels like I let the world beat me. Like I wasn't strong enough to handle life until it's actually my time to go naturally or by accident.

 

[JoeFailure]

I'm really anxious about dying. I'm currently obsessing over every stupid thing I've ever said/ done and I'm worried that the police are going to find out and it will be discussed in relation to my death and everyone will make fun of me. Please tell me I'm being excessive??
Also, my privacy will be somewhat respected, right?? My name isn't going to be immediately published in the newspaper (I'm assuming my family would prevent this anyway). I hate the fact that other people will have to be involved after my death and I'm going to make so much work for the police, my psychiatrist, etc.

You must have a good psychiatrist if they still care 10 minutes after they hear. I'm pretty sure mine wouldn't. But I guess I can't complain, she'll literally prescribe me anything I ask for if it gets me to leave the office.

 

[SinisterKid]

Embarrassed?? I am fuckin proud that I even consider suicide a realistic solution, I am in no way embarrassed about it in any way, shape or form. Not sure why anyone would be. Most members here are incredibly brave for confronting their issues and trying to find solutions. That is not anything to be embarrassed about surely.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

The police aren´t going to open a thoughrough investigation over a suicide but if you were to hurt other people beforehand you can bet your ass they will comb through everything you have including your computer and search history and maybe even publish it to the world through the media.

Yeah, I don't want my suicide to be discussed by anyone- especially ppl who will claim to have 'known me'/act like my death affected them and just use me as a conversation piece to make themselves look good.

This is something we can´t avoid and I am sure it will happen to most of us, even I who haven´t had friends for a long time I know people will just use my suicide to get attention which makes me angry to think about.