Does anyone else wish someone could kill them?

[sserafim]

Does anyone else wish someone could just kill them? I wish someone could kill me so that I could die. Sometimes I think about hiring a hitman to kill me (even though I'm broke), but I can't trust this method because they might be an undercover agent and arrest me.

Ugh why is it so hard to die…I really wish that someone could kill me (preferably accidentally). I want my death to look like an accident, but I would even want to get murdered to escape this world. I hate it so much

 

[yasha]

yeah, I want someone to push me onto the underground tracks

 

[sserafim]

yeah, I want someone to push me onto the underground tracks

Same

 

[not_telling]

I'm sorry you feel like that. I can definitely relate to that desire. Having to end it by myself is really hard, even though I do want it to be over. So much fear. Having the choice and the act itself taken away would feel a lot easier, I think. I've thought about maybe going to war. If I were to serve, I'd try to do it right, but casualties will happen no matter how hard we try. Hopefully, I could take someone's place and even die for a good cause. It's a thought, I guess. Anyway, I hope you can find something that feels comfortable and brings you the peace you're looking for.

 

[アホペンギン]

I wish I was lucky and ran into some sort of shooting or something, i'd stand in the middle of everything, waiting to be shot.

 

[WlNTER]

I am the opposite of you i want to find someone who could help me i wish i could be stronger and open up about my situation publicly but I didn't find anyone who i could open up to so i wish you the same wish i want to find someone who could help you and understand you.

 

[hevlalab]

Yes, would be a much easier way of going as you wouldn't need to plan for it like writing a note or getting the supplies you need to ctb. People would remember you in a much higher regard as someone who was tragically taken by the hands of someone else and not your own. I read somewhere online that even Angelina Jolie had thought about hiring a hitman to kill her as she couldn't ctb knowing what it would do to her family. I don't know whether this is true or not but if i had the option to do the same I would. Would much rather be remembered as a victim of murder than a victim to suicide. That's just my own preference.

 

[Meditation guide]

Yes death by cop is a thing here in U.S. meaning trying to get the police to shoot you.

 

[insaneclient101]

Real. You dont need to buy your supplies, which sometimes sucks when the person asks what you are buying these for. Plus taking your own life requires a lot of courage which is probably why most ppl fail

 

[cosifantutti]

Yes death by cop is a thing here in U.S. meaning trying to get the police to shoot you.

Yes death by cop is a thing here in U.S. meaning trying to get the police to shoot you.

I live in Scotland and have thought that if I lived in the US I'd try to get a cop to kill me.

 

[bessops1976]

I know what you mean. Takes away the SI if the job is out of your hands.

My brother was only in his mid fourties when he passed from cancer. I guess that's something also out of our hands. If I found out I had something like that I'd decline all treatment

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

I have the same thoughts. Or paying someone to turn on a generator while I am sleeping.

 

[sserafim]

I'm sorry you feel like that. I can definitely relate to that desire. Having to end it by myself is really hard, even though I do want it to be over. So much fear. Having the choice and the act itself taken away would feel a lot easier, I think. I've thought about maybe going to war. If I were to serve, I'd try to do it right, but casualties will happen no matter how hard we try. Hopefully, I could take someone's place and even die for a good cause. It's a thought, I guess. Anyway, I hope you can find something that feels comfortable and brings you the peace you're looking for.

Yeah same, sometimes I also want to join the army so I can die in battle. It would be a noble and heroic way to go, and you would be forever be remembered as a hero. I also like the idea of going out for a cause and sacrificing myself for the "greater good". I want to feel like my existence meant something. I want to die already anyways, so I think that dying in this fashion would be a win win situation.

Yes death by cop is a thing here in U.S. meaning trying to get the police to shoot you.

Yeah, I've heard about this and honestly I might try it someday. I'm not sure how well it would work in my case though but it's worth a try…

Yes, would be a much easier way of going as you wouldn't need to plan for it like writing a note or getting the supplies you need to ctb. People would remember you in a much higher regard as someone who was tragically taken by the hands of someone else and not your own. I read somewhere online that even Angelina Jolie had thought about hiring a hitman to kill her as she couldn't ctb knowing what it would do to her family. I don't know whether this is true or not but if i had the option to do the same I would. Would much rather be remembered as a victim of murder than a victim to suicide. That's just my own preference.

Yeah same, I also heard about the Angelina Jolie thing. I didn't know she had also thought the same way. Well I guess it's good that she stuck it out. Look at where she is now.

Yeah same, honestly I'd rather be remembered as someone who was murdered rather than someone who committed suicide. Even the fact of calling it "commit" or "committed" makes it seem like a crime, further adding to the taboo and stigma against it.

Being a victim of murder would be regarded as tragic, whereas suicide will taint your image forever. I hate the fact that society attaches this stigma to suicide.

I wish I was lucky and ran into some sort of shooting or something, i'd stand in the middle of everything, waiting to be shot.

Same, I wish I could be killed in a shooting. I wouldn't run away or hide, and instead just wait to get shot. I might even try to get the shooter to shoot me faster just so that I could die. If I were strong enough, and if I could, I'd try to fight back against the shooter and save other people, hopefully dying in the process. I'd honestly just sacrifice myself to save others. I don't think those people are suicidal or want to die….I would be remembered as a hero forever. They would say stuff like "she went out saving others, she's so noble". Honestly I already want to die and I'm not scared of death anyways so I would do this if I physically could

 

[cosifantutti]

I know what you mean. Takes away the SI if the job is out of your hands.

My brother was only in his mid fourties when he passed from cancer. I guess that's something also out of our hands. If I found out I had something like that I'd decline all treatment

Me too. My sister has been diagnosed and she loves life. This happens. It would have been better had I been diagnosed.

 

[jussrav]

Yeah same, sometimes I also want to join the army so I can die in battle. It would be a noble and heroic way to go, and you would be forever be remembered as a hero. I also like the idea of going out for a cause and sacrificing myself for the "greater good". I want to feel like my existence meant something. I want to die already anyways, so I think that dying in this fashion would be a win win situation.

Yeah, I've heard about this and honestly I might try it someday. I'm not sure how well it would work in my case though but it's worth a try…

Yeah same, I also heard about the Angelina Jolie thing. I didn't know she had also thought the same way. Well I guess it's good that she stuck it out. Look at where she is now.

Yeah same, honestly I'd rather be remembered as someone who was murdered rather than someone who committed suicide. Even the fact of calling it "committed" makes it seem like a crime and taboo, further adding to the stigma against it.

Being a victim of murder would be regarded as tragic, whereas suicide will taint your image forever. I hate the fact that society attaches this stigma to suicide.

Same, I wish I could be killed in a shooting. I wouldn't run away or hide, and instead just wait to get shot. I might even try to get the shooter to shoot me faster just so that I could die. If I were strong enough, and if I could, I'd try to fight back against the shooter and save other people, hopefully getting shot in the process. I'd honestly just sacrifice myself to save others. I don't think those people are suicidal or want to die….I would be remembered as a hero forever. They would say stuff like "she went out saving others, she's so noble". Honestly I'm not scared of death anyways so I would do this if I physically could

I would do this. I used to be a prison officer before covid which killed me off. I remember a guy there who murdered a girl. He raped and murdered her. I felt so bad thinking she loved life etc. But where are the murderers when you need them I would say do it now kill me. But I have no such luck. We do get odd break ins where I live so I wi open the door to them.

I know what you mean. Takes away the SI if the job is out of your hands.

My brother was only in his mid fourties when he passed from cancer. I guess that's something also out of our hands. If I found out I had something like that I'd decline all treatment

I have a tumour on my brain after covid but sadly it won't kill me only make me blind if it grows.

 

[nanaka]

One day I was going home while listening to music with my earphones. A man started walking besides me at my pace, looked around to see if nobody was around, then he asked me for the time.
I stowed away my earphones and pulled out my phone from my pocket to check the time, and he tried to grab the phone I had in my hand.
He told me to hand over my iPhone but it was just a shitty phone, so I told him it wasn't an iPhone lol. It was the kind of phone you could get for 1€ or so, if you took it alongside a mobile plan for young people.

He let go of my phone which was still in my hand, and he pulled out a screwdriver out of his sleeve. It was a bit awkward because he had to shake his sleeve a bit for a few seconds to pull it out.
He ordered me with a threatening tone: "Let go of your iPhone or I'll stab you" (he was insisting on that iPhone lol).
I told him simply "No", because at that moment, I actually hoped that he would stab me with it and that it would be my end. My heart was beating fast, but I wasn't afraid of death.
But when I told him that, he just checked the surroundings again before running away at full speed. So in the end, I just continued to walk and went home like normal.

When I tell that story to people, they all get surprised or angry at me, telling stuff like: "Why would you risk your life for a 1€ phone? You should have given it to him".
Sometimes I would tell them that I didn't care if I had died on the spot that day, but somehow they don't get the hint when I tell them that.

 

[sserafim]

I know what you mean. Takes away the SI if the job is out of your hands.

My brother was only in his mid fourties when he passed from cancer. I guess that's something also out of our hands. If I found out I had something like that I'd decline all treatment

I'm sorry to hear about your brother. Yeah, I guess some things are just out of our control.

And yeah same, I would refuse treatment as well and just wait to die. I wouldn't want to be helped or get better. I know this sounds terrible but sometimes I wish I could have cancer or a terminal illness so that I could have an excuse to die

I would do this. I used to be a prison officer before covid which killed me off. I remember a guy there who murdered a girl. He raped and murdered her. I felt so bad thinking she loved life etc. But where are the murderers when you need them I would say do it now kill me. But I have no such luck. We do get odd break ins where I live so I wi open the door to them.

I have a tumour on my brain after covid but sadly it won't kill me only make me blind if it grows.

It's sad to hear that someone who loved life died, and in such a horrific manner. Why is the universe so cruel? Ugh the universe is so unfair…why couldn't someone who hates life like me have died instead? Life is just not fair

Yeah I know right! Where are the murderers when you need them Sometimes I go outside and wish that I could be killed. Honestly I just want someone to kill me. I hear about people being pushed onto the train tracks or being shot and stabbed, and wish that it could've been me instead.

Sorry about your tumor, I hope it doesn't grow…I don't know why life has to be like this. Why must nice people like you get tumors? It's just not fair

 

[manuel1056x]

One day I was going home while listening to music with my earphones. A man started walking besides me at my pace, looked around to see if nobody was around, then he asked me for the time.
I stowed away my earphones and pulled out my phone from my pocket to check the time, and he tried to grab the phone I had in my hand.
He told me to hand over my iPhone but it was just a shitty phone, so I told him it wasn't an iPhone lol. It was the kind of phone you could get for 1€ or so, if you took it alongside a mobile plan for young people.

He let go of my phone which was still in my hand, and he pulled out a screwdriver out of his sleeve. It was a bit awkward because he had to shake his sleeve a bit for a few seconds to pull it out.
He ordered me with a threatening tone: "Let go of your iPhone or I'll stab you" (he was insisting on that iPhone lol).
I told him simply "No", because at that moment, I actually hoped that he would stab me with it and that it would be my end. My heart was beating fast, but I wasn't afraid of death.
But when I told him that, he just checked the surroundings again before running away at full speed. So in the end, I just continued to walk and went home like normal.

When I tell that story to people, they all get surprised or angry at me, telling stuff like: "Why would you risk your life for a 1€ phone? You should have given it to him".
Sometimes I would tell them that I didn't care if I had died on the spot that day, but somehow they don't get the hint when I tell them that.

Wow, this is an interesting story. You reacted very interesting. It is sad that you can not tell people that you don't care about you life, because of the stupid things they will answer.

 

[passivethought121]

All the damn time. When I'm walking on the street, when I was at school, when I see police officers. when I see suspicious people...tons of lil clips and scenarios in my head about getting killed through someone's hand.

 

[sserafim]

All the damn time. When I'm walking on the street, when I was at school, when I see police officers. when I see suspicious people...tons of lil clips and scenarios in my head about getting killed through someone's hand.

Same, sometimes when I see the police I want to piss them off so that they kill me. When I walk outside I honestly hope I run into shady people so that I have a higher chance of getting killed. But sadly it hasn't happened so far…

 

[f1lth]

oh all of the time. I dont want people in my life to blame themselves and if my death was an accident or if someone killed me itd be so easy. The only thing i dont like about this idea is not getting to say goodbye

 

[TAW122]

Sometimes I do wish that, but in reality, having such a predicament comes with many complications such as things going wrong, being tortured, not being able to control the terms of death, legal issues (for the person doing the deed), and more. Though with assisted suicide, medical assistance in dying, voluntary euthanasia, etc., it is more controlled and done by a medical professional after all the hoops, decisions, greenlight, and all those are checked off. To be honest, if I find myself unable to die because of physical/psychological disability/handicap that prevents me from executing the attempt (especially physically) but am of sound mind and coherent, I would wish for someone to mercifully take me out of my suffering.

 

[sserafim]

Sometimes I do wish that, but in reality, having such a predicament comes with many complications such as things going wrong, being tortured, not being able to control the terms of death, legal issues (for the person doing the deed), and more. Though with assisted suicide, medical assistance in dying, voluntary euthanasia, etc., it is more controlled and done by a medical professional after all the hoops, decisions, greenlight, and all those are checked off. To be honest, if I find myself unable to die because of physical/psychological disability/handicap that prevents me from executing the attempt (especially physically) but am of sound mind and coherent, I would wish for someone to mercifully take me out of my suffering.

Yeah same, the only thing that's preventing me from ctb is the risk of failure. So many things could go wrong, and even worse, you could be left permanently disabled. I wish that there were a method that would 100% succeed, all the time.

I also wish that I could die by assisted suicide (it would be my ideal way to go), but I'm not a good candidate and I would be unlikely to get approved for it. In an ideal world, everyone would have access to this method. I believe that people should have the right to die, because none of us chose to be here in the first place. We should all be able to choose to leave as well.

I just wish that VAS could be more accessible to people. People who aren't in physical pain are suffering too, yet others don't see this. They think that mental pain means nothing. The issue is being allowed to die by assisted suicide. I don't think that I would even be allowed to die by euthanasia because I'm in good physical health. People don't care about my adhd or anxiety or depression. They think that I shouldn't be allowed to die just because I'm physically healthy, and that I don't have a "reason" to die. They don't see that I'm mentally suffering, and my mental health is poor af. It means nothing to them and they don't care about it whatsoever. I wish I had a terminal illness so I could be allowed to VAS…

I don't know why leaving this world (successfully) is so hard…none of us even chose to be here

 

[Pyxel]

Man I really wish someone would murder me. Had thoughts of doing something like a ctb which looks accidental. Something about another person ending it for me makes me feel at ease.

 

[Gloomislost]

Does anyone else wish someone could just kill them? I wish someone could kill me so that I could die. Sometimes I think about hiring a hitman to kill me (even though I'm broke), but I can't trust this method because they might be an undercover agent and arrest me.

Ugh why is it so hard to die…I really wish that someone could kill me (preferably accidentally). I want my death to look like an accident, but I would even want to get murdered to escape this world. I hate it so much

Yes!! Like if someone could kill me, then I wouldn't feel guilty and it wouldn't be MY fault. But I also get anxious at the thought of someone having the power to end my life, instead of me doing it.

 

[Lost21]

I would hire someone to kill me in a heartbeat

 

[DeathSleep]

All the time. I hope every day a bullet will come my way. Someone will just walk up and shoot me dead.

 

[withouthope]

Yes. I have the money to hire someone but have no idea how to go about doing it or if it's even possible. I read an article about people getting scammed trying to hire a hit man.

 

[the_widow]

I would do this. I used to be a prison officer before covid which killed me off. I remember a guy there who murdered a girl. He raped and murdered her. I felt so bad thinking she loved life etc. But where are the murderers when you need them I would say do it now kill me. But I have no such luck. We do get odd break ins where I live so I wi open the door to them.

I have a tumour on my brain after covid but sadly it won't kill me only make me blind if it grows.

I also have a brain tumor that won't kill me and will only make me blind if it grows. Rather unfortunate, isn't it?

 

[jussrav]

I also have a brain tumor that won't kill me and will only make me blind if it grows. Rather unfortunate, isn't it?

Very unfortunate. I wish it would kill me but it won't.