Does anyone else want to ctb because they feel incompetent?

[Squiddy]

Yeah I feel you, in all honesty I don't know any thing I'm good at

I also feel like I'm not good at anything

 

[OneBigBlur]

I also feel like I'm not good at anything

I think that's perfectly fine, but the problem is that many people aren't willing to accept that many of us have limitations. I know I will never be able to hold a job because of my trauma symptoms but society doesn't care and people treat me like a diseased animal because of it even though most of them hate working. I had to learn everything on my own because nobody ever helped me but it isn't good enough for most.

 

[Sensei]

I'm quite incompetent when it comes to many practical things. That doesn't bother me that much, because such things can usually be sorted out one way or another. What bothers me is that I'm socially incompetent in many regards, and that's not easily fixed.

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

I'm quite incompetent when it comes to many practical things. That doesn't bother me that much, because such things can usually be sorted out one way or another. What bothers me is that I'm socially incompetent in many regards, and that's not easily fixed.

I relate to this...

 

[Squiddy]

I'm quite incompetent when it comes to many practical things. That doesn't bother me that much, because such things can usually be sorted out one way or another. What bothers me is that I'm socially incompetent in many regards, and that's not easily fixed.

Surprisingly, I'm not socially incompetent, just incompetent in everything else

 

[Sensei]

Surprisingly, I'm not socially incompetent, just incompetent in everything else

I'd trade with you.

 

[zherhk]

Nobody is born knowing how to do everything.
It takes practice.
Under someone success there is a story of fails and retrying.

 

[realjunes]

I can definitely relate. I was never taught anything important or any life lessons because I was severely sheltered as a child. I am so embarrassed by my lack of knowledge about basic things and I am in my late 20s. If I was younger I wouldn't feel so bad but late 20s with absolutely no life experience is very very hard for me. Most everything I learned was self taught or from my fist bf. It is just so hurtful when people say "I can't believe you don't know how to do that or I can't believe you don't know that at your age" ...so yeah it's one of my very long list of reasons to ctb.

Don't feel bad about "learning" OP. Member Raven Moon is entirely correct here.
As Paul Simon sings in
Kodachrome:

When I think back
On all the crap I learned in high school
It's a wonder
I can think at all

 

[Squiddy]

I'd trade with you.

I would trade with you too

 

[Sensei]

I would trade with you too

It's settled then. Alright, then we only have to come up with some kind of magic that will allow us to switch. :P

 

[Squiddy]

It's settled then. Alright, then we only have to come up with some kind of magic that will allow us to switch. :P

Yeah

 

[Shero]

Yes, there is someone that i hate more than a relative, and thats me.

 

[Sensei]

Yes, there is someone that i hate more than a relative, and thats me.

You know what, I think you should direct that outwards and not inwards. The very fact that you're here indicates that you're a good person and that people around you aren't.

 

[Shero]

You know what, I think you should direct that outwards and not inwards. The very fact that you're here indicates that you're a good person and that people around you aren't.

Thank you appreciate it. There was a time were i despiced compliments. I prefer to put the blame on me than on other people, even if it is destructive. Maybe im a masochist, who knows.

EDIT: Maybe it's so i channel my negative energy and to something productive with it. Sport for example would be good i think, is just a hypothese though.
EDIT2: Sorry for all the edits, my ADHD kicks in. I don't really understand the good person part. People are varied, they have different goals/reasons why they are here. The hating part would say otherwise regarding me, but i still appreciate the compliment.

 

[Sensei]

Thank you appreciate it. There was a time were i despiced compliments. I prefer to put the blame on me than on other people, even if it is destructive. Maybe im a masochist, who knows.

EDIT: Maybe it's so i channel my negative energy and to something productive with it. Sport for example would be good i think, is just a hypothese though.
EDIT2: Sorry for all the edits, my ADHD kicks in. I don't really understand the good person part. People are varied, they have different goals/reasons why they are here. The hating part would say otherwise regarding me, but i still appreciate the compliment.

I don't like compliments either and I still wonder why. I can feel contempt for myself, but I don't think I hate myself. Well, I'm not in focus here. Do you think you have reason to hate yourself? I doubt you're such a masochist that you want end up dying by your own hand.

Sports is not a bad idea. Psychical exertion and competition will allow you to release much steam. If I were you, I'd definitely give it a shot.

Don't worry about the edits, as long as I don't have to worry if I miss one when I reply.

Well, what I mean with the good person part is that many, if not most people who come here are fragile people in an unforgiving world. They come here because they don't know what to do. If they were evil people, they would simply take it out on other people instead. I don't know if it makes sense.

 

[Shero]

No, it makes perfectly sense, thanks for pointing it out. Im really paranoid, especially on the internet, so i still perceive evil intent, but thats one of my problems.

 

[Sensei]

No, it makes perfectly sense, thanks for pointing it out. Im really paranoid, especially on the internet, so i still perceive evil intent, but thats one of my problems.

It's probably good to be a little bit paranoid about the Internet. I dare say that all the regulars of this forum are to be trusted, though. I don't know about new members, of course.

 

[LegaliseIt!]

I've fallen through the societal cracks in many ways.
Once a person has fallen through the cracks, society examines the person. And Judges.
Harshly.
The cracks are growing.
The examination of the "fallen people" deepens. And breaks us further.
Why is everyone ignoring the cracks?

Perhaps it is a sign of competence that many of us don't fit into a hostile and broken world?

 

[Sensei]

I've fallen through the societal cracks in many ways.
Once a person has fallen through the cracks, society examines the person. And Judges.
Harshly.
The cracks are growing.
The examination of the "fallen people" deepens. And breaks us further.
Why is everyone ignoring the cracks?

Unfortunately, this has gotten worse, everywhere. I've never really been able to figure out why. Is it simply the spread of neo-liberalism? By the way, I've never understood why they use the prefix "neo". As far as I'm concerned, it's medieval.

Perhaps it is a sign of competence that many of us don't fit into a hostile and broken world?

I've been thinking about this a lot. Many members, including myself, think they don't fit in and that it must mean that they are failures. However, what's saying that it's not people around them and their environment which are at fault? The majority is not always right. To quote Mark Twain: "Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect)."

 

[voyager]

Yeah, it's definitely one of my reasons. It wasn't always so, but unfortunately ever since these issues at 16 I have a real hard time using my brain. Thinking actually feels exhaustive. I won't bore you with all the details, but I too am incompetent because I can't learn anything anymore or only with extreme effort, and then I'll just forget it within a few weeks anyhow. It's like stepping on the same spot for the rest of one's life, when really you should be going on a world tour.

 

[Donk]

the only thing i was good at was my job even that i cant do no more. i know i should learn new skills to gain confidence but im too depress to learn anything. im depress because im incompetent. im incompetent because im depress. vicious cycle.

 

[TheEndof]

I don't know. I've never felt like I was great at anything. I'm just average at everything I do. It doesn't seem to matter how hard I work at something, I can never seem to exceed doing an "okay" job.

 

[Abood95]

I'm lost. I'm terrible. I'm weak. I'm tired. I'm exhausted. Sleepy for death.

 

[Watcher]

Don't feel sad about it. I lived my whole life without knowing I'm an asperger. So many bad things happened in the way... Car accident, bad surgery practice in me, idiot parents, a jealous resentful brother, so many confusions in university, drugs problems, finally I'm here still alive. So don't worry due to you don't know how to change a tire, there are lots of tutorials in YouTube and most of people don't know how to do it. And remember that some where will always be someone more clumsy than you

 

[TAW122]

It's one of my other reasons, and yes, I have felt that way too, especially when I didn't do well on a task or anything at hand, I feel rather useless (albeit for a short time). I feel like a lot things in life where people can do well or do without too much effort, I struggle just to get it done (like lifting heavy stuff, moving stuff, and labor related tasks). I am also not physically fit either and am dainty with my body because I am afraid of injuring my hands/fingers/wrists (I am a hobby pianist btw).

 

[porfin1234]

Hello

you are not alone
I feel pretty incompetent myself.
maybe it's because I don't try though
You can always learn new things... even if it takes you a long time :)

 

[Egddios]

@Squiddy wish I could hug you. I hear you.

After the last ECT treatments I had (I've had 20+ since 2017), I realized we (me and the "team" at the hospital) had gone too far. I used to take solace in knowing I could communicate eloquently and effectively, used to have a razor sharp memory and wit, felt confident in my ability to express myself.

Now, I feel my brain was put in a blender and things which used to come so easily to me are lost in this mental fog. I don't feel nearly as comfortable advocating for myself when it came to dealing with psychiatrists, therapists, during inpatient treatment, etc. Now, I struggle to remember what I even want to say. I developed a stutter. Many times I feel incompetent and I try very hard to not be so hard on myself.

 

[Painless_end]

Hi, this is my first ever reply / comment on this forum.

I am 30 years old. I live in a third world country (the one which runs call center scams on unsuspecting Westerners).

I have always been a mentally disjointed person. But in a benign way. I have a college degree in computer engineering (which I abhor). And total of 6+ years of full-time work experience spread over two IT companies, and one bank.

My last job was as Assistant Manager in the bank. It was primarily in an IT role. I quit that job in April 2019. I told my manager and my parents that I just can't do it anymore. My parents (with whom I live, because I am unable to live seperately, long story) advised me for several months to hang on to the job, before I finally told them I just can't do it anymore.

Anyways, to relate to the topic of this thread, I have always had a lot of difficulty with making my way in the real world. Jobs, taxes, responsibilities, I struggle with all of it for several years.

I know I am incompetent because I have realized that it's impossible for me to keep up with life. It just doesn't work for me anymore. Presently, for the past several months, I have stopped looking for a full time job and just keep browsing social media all day on my parents' couch.

I have realized long back that if i don't have someone to support me mentally in life, I won't make it probably. Which is why I just stay quietly at my parents' house now.

They aren't happy I am like this, but there's nothing else I can do. My mother keeps telling me to develop some hobbies or other interests, but I feel completely blank inside. I just don't want to do it.

I want to CTB badly. I just can't bring myself to do it yet.

 

[Squiddy]

Hi, this is my first ever reply / comment on this forum.

I am 30 years old. I live in a third world country (the one which runs call center scams on unsuspecting Westerners).

I have always been a mentally disjointed person. But in a benign way. I have a college degree in computer engineering (which I abhor). And total of 6+ years of full-time work experience spread over two IT companies, and one bank.

My last job was as Assistant Manager in the bank. It was primarily in an IT role. I quit that job in April 2019. I told my manager and my parents that I just can't do it anymore. My parents (with whom I live, because I am unable to live seperately, long story) advised me for several months to hang on to the job, before I finally told them I just can't do it anymore.

Anyways, to relate to the topic of this thread, I have always had a lot of difficulty with making my way in the real world. Jobs, taxes, responsibilities, I struggle with all of it for several years.

I know I am incompetent because I have realized that it's impossible for me to keep up with life. It just doesn't work for me anymore. Presently, for the past several months, I have stopped looking for a full time job and just keep browsing social media all day on my parents' couch.

I have realized long back that if i don't have someone to support me mentally in life, I won't make it probably. Which is why I just stay quietly at my parents' house now.

They aren't happy I am like this, but there's nothing else I can do. My mother keeps telling me to develop some hobbies or other interests, but I feel completely blank inside. I just don't want to do it.

I want to CTB badly. I just can't bring myself to do it yet.

I also don't know how to do taxes and will probably need someone to support me too. This also makes me want to ctb badly

 

[NonsenseTrash]

Yes, my incompetency is definitely one of the reasons. Just today, I tried leaving my apartment for the first time in a couple days to visit a friend. I got lost, not even 3 miles away from my place. I ended up circling around for hours to end up back home and too upset and tired to do anything else.
You're not alone ❤