Does anyone else want to ctb because they feel incompetent?

[Squiddy]

I feel so stupid. There's so many things I don't know how to do such as taxes and changing a tire on a car. I'm not cut out for life at all. My mom should have aborted me. It's not my main reason for wanting to ctb, but it's one.

 

[SoupSnakes]

You shouldn't feel incompetent for those reasons. A lot of people don't know how to do those things (myself included!). You can't help it if you've been brought up and not shown how to do those things, don't beat yourself up about it!

 

[I screwed up]

U not alone dear friend

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

I don't know how to do those either but honestly we shouldn't blame ourselves. We are forced to learn so much useless stuff by the education system that we don't have time to invest into learning real life skills.
I didn't know how to buy a fricking train-ticket until I was 18 because I never really travelled with anyone before.
It used to be one of my reasons, but I feel much better when I remember there's a lot more of us.

 

[SinisterKid]

Most things in this life can be learned. I used to mentor 16-18 year olds just entering the workplace for the first time. Most of them had no confidence in their abilities, but once we got them learning things in ways that suited them [we all have different ways of learning] some of the transformations were amazing.

I am ancient and I have no idea about taxes.

 

[BPD_LE]

Bud, last time I tried to make myself a hot meal I set fire to the kitchen. Seriously! However, I'm very creative and good with animals. I bet you have loads of good qualities you're overlooking.

 

[Quax]

@Squiddy Im sure that you have strengths and weaknesses as everyone... so there's no need to know everything. Just try to be you and you will find out how to play out your skills and how to avoid weaknesses....

 

[crea_the_hopeless]

This is one of the main reasons I want to CTB

 

[Moonicide]

I understand completely, love. I can't do any of those things either. Hell, I can't even drive... Let alone have a job.
Like many people have said here, we all have our strengths and weaknesses. And I do believe there is at least one thing you know how to do and you do it well.
But living a sheltered life is beyond painful, and I am sorry you're struggling like many of us here.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Yes. I have chronic pain and it's hard to focus on daily activities. At work or hobbies like playing guitar. I am not the same anymore. I feel useless. I'm stupid. I want to die.

 

[Squiddy]

Bud, last time I tried to make myself a hot meal I set fire to the kitchen. Seriously! However, I'm very creative and good with animals. I bet you have loads of good qualities you're overlooking.

What were you trying to cook?

 

[mediocre]

100% I feel like one of the dumbest people on earth with an iq of about 10. I live alone but I cannot take care of myself properly, pay my bills etc without help. I can't cook, can't work, I even have trouble following written instructions! I need help every day. Feel helpless.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I can definitely relate. I was never taught anything important or any life lessons because I was severely sheltered as a child. I am so embarrassed by my lack of knowledge about basic things and I am in my late 20s. If I was younger I wouldn't feel so bad but late 20s with absolutely no life experience is very very hard for me. Most everything I learned was self taught or from my fist bf. It is just so hurtful when people say "I can't believe you don't know how to do that or I can't believe you don't know that at your age" ...so yeah it's one of my very long list of reasons to ctb.

 

[BPD_LE]

What were you trying to cook?

Chicken nuggets I left the recycling on the hob and it was on when I switched the oven on! Then I left the room for 10mins. I don't cook!

 

[Sweet emotion]

I feel so stupid. There's so many things I don't know how to do such as taxes and changing a tire on a car. I'm not cut out for life at all. My mom should have aborted me. It's not my main reason for wanting to ctb, but it's one.

I'm physically incompetent so yes that is one of my reasons for wanting to die. The lack of freedom I'm able to have and all the things I can't physically do which has left me with no quality of life what so ever. Maybe you could try a task a week. Even if you have to ask someone for help. I'm sure you're not stupid. And no one unless they're a CPA knows how to do taxes so don't blame yourself for that one. That is friggin hard! But I'm sure with some lessons you could learn how to change a tire and do so many other things that you don't think possible. Have a little faith in yourself.

 

[Squiddy]

100% I feel like one of the dumbest people on earth with an iq of about 10. I live alone but I cannot take care of myself properly, pay my bills etc without help. I can't cook, can't work, I even have trouble following written instructions! I need help every day. Feel helpless.

I also need help paying bills

 

[ArtVandelay]

There's so many things I don't know how to do such as taxes and changing a tire on a car.

Those are things you can learn how to do in less than one day if you're feeling motivated. For taxes, you just need TurboTax and it guides you step by step, so you know exactly what to do even if it's your first time. And for changing a tire, there are hundreds of straightforward YouTube videos that demonstrate the process.

I do relate to feeling incompetent though. This world is too competitive. It's hard to be motivated to learn new things when you know there will always be others who are better at it than you.

 

[passenger27]

Don't worry, I'm not the brightest color in the crayon box myself. I try to tell myself it's just hard to concentrate with my mental illness, but my do-it-yourself family members basically think I'm retarded. Pretty much literally, because I can't fix cars, or be a carpenter, or any other things they can do. It's def one of my reasons to ctb.

 

[Squiddy]

I can definitely relate. I was never taught anything important or any life lessons because I was severely sheltered as a child. I am so embarrassed by my lack of knowledge about basic things and I am in my late 20s. If I was younger I wouldn't feel so bad but late 20s with absolutely no life experience is very very hard for me. Most everything I learned was self taught or from my fist bf. It is just so hurtful when people say "I can't believe you don't know how to do that or I can't believe you don't know that at your age" ...so yeah it's one of my very long list of reasons to ctb.

I was also sheltered as a child

 

[Kikoo Loool]

I used to. The main reason for me wanting to ctb has changed though.

 

[Desi]

I don't feel incompetent. I know i have capabilities. It's just I'm fucked up emotionally, i have low tolerance to frustration, i think i know what in my education trapped me into this. I'm emotionally incapable and that ruins my capabilities, I can't express them, i've become an underachiever. I doubt i can change, perhaps a bit but is it worth it ?

I can definitely relate. I was never taught anything important or any life lessons because I was severely sheltered as a child. I am so embarrassed by my lack of knowledge about basic things and I am in my late 20s. If I was younger I wouldn't feel so bad but late 20s with absolutely no life experience is very very hard for me. Most everything I learned was self taught or from my fist bf. It is just so hurtful when people say "I can't believe you don't know how to do that or I can't believe you don't know that at your age" ...so yeah it's one of my very long list of reasons to ctb.

When you don't know something, do you ask for help or guidance or are you afraid of it ?
By my experience, asking for guidance, saying « i don't know how to do this, can you help me ? » attracts kindness not scorn. I know some people can find it charming and sweet and you attract sympathy. Really. Showing humility (or derision, which is funny humility) can be seductive with girls, i think.
But if you're afraid to ask, because you feel lame and you're shameful, you cut yourself from the positive reaction and close doors.
Nobody was born knowing things, you know. There was always a first time for everything and you need a little push.

 

[WallsClosingInn]

I feel so stupid. There's so many things I don't know how to do such as taxes and changing a tire on a car. I'm not cut out for life at all. My mom should have aborted me. It's not my main reason for wanting to ctb, but it's one.

im in a similar position.im 31 year old never had job,felling uselless,like shit

 

[NeCkDeEp]

Yeah I feel you, in all honesty I don't know any thing I'm good at

 

[TowerUpright]

That's partially my problem. I am incompetent in communication and letting myself have my own voice. I can't say no to my spouse. I can't express my feelings to her or any family member because I'm afraid of what they'd think of me. Essentially I'm in my marriage because I couldn't express my feelings and now am trapped. I'm not even a good father. I doubt my kids would miss me, except for my paycheck.

It sounds like some of your skill deficits could be overcome by mentoring? Or, at least YouTube?? Maybe not paying bills.. but maybe job / trade training??

I feel for you, sister. Hope you can get the skills you're looking for.

 

[FohPah]

Even learning skills is, itself, a skill. That's what kills me.

I'm great at providing useless philosophical commentary, but I'm useless at translating thoughts into productive actions.

Case in point: this post.

 

[2211264]

I feel so stupid. There's so many things I don't know how to do such as taxes and changing a tire on a car. I'm not cut out for life at all. My mom should have aborted me. It's not my main reason for wanting to ctb, but it's one.

Dont feel Bad. Im the opposite. I am very competent. I have an engineering career and moved out of home at 16. taxes, running a business, changing tyres on a car through to major smash repairs of a car. I see everything and break it down. I just know get so pissed off and frustrated because the world is set up for semi competent and incompetent people. I struggle with following rules and fitting into society, because i just do what is needed. its fucked, i dont fit the mould and its not a good thing.

its good to learn skills though and I do encourage you to try.

 

[Squiddy]

im in a similar position.im 31 year old never had job,felling uselless,like shit

I've also never had a job

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

I've been told I'm a genius, and I've been considered gifted since I was a kid. But oftentimes, I don't feel smart or capable at all because I'm terrible with daily living things that come naturally for most people.

 

[Squiddy]

I've been told I'm a genius, and I've been considered gifted since I was a kid. But oftentimes, I don't feel smart or capable at all because I'm terrible with daily living things that come naturally for most people.

I've also been called a genius when I don't feel like it at all

 

[LegaliseIt!]

There is a family in a nearby city that owns a bright pink McMansion because I transposed two numbers on a spreadsheet. It didn't end well.