Discussion Does anyone else want to ctb because they don't want to work?

[Nymph]

Not my main reason, but it's a small reason of why I want to ctb. I've never actually had a job, but feel like I wouldn't be cut out to work. Between my mental illnesses, not being able to articulate myself verbally sometimes, bad short term memory and not being able to process what others are saying sometimes, I'd probably fuck up a lot. I'm definitely not cut out for life

Totally relate, school was already hard for me. I can't imagine working everyday and having no time for myself. Zero motivation zero will. If I need to work to survive I'd rather just die

 

[Ren Elsie Jewelria]

One of my several reasons too. Mindless waste of time while I could read comic books, manga and watch anime.

 

[DeathNoot]

As others said it's more like I can't work rather than don't want to. Not sure I could even get the job in the first place, with my anxiety. I'd probably fall mute mid interview like I did with my mock one in high school lol. Doesn't help that I have no ambition whatsoever. A tadpole probably has more ambition than I do.

 

[EternalDarkness]

I would love to get payed to do something but no one ever wanted to hire me for anything and now with Covid there is 0 chance I will ever get a job. Feel so useless. Definitely one of the reasons to ctb for me.

 

[Wayfaerer]

Yes, me, right here! It's not that I never wanted to work-- actually, I had a fulfilling career ahead of me and I was quickly picking the broken pieces of my life and everything seemed like it was finally coming together! Wow, I was thinking for the longest time that nothing like this would've happened to me! I was so excited to graduate and start my first job, and then... All of this happened. A sharp and sudden decline during one night in particular back in june 2018 is what brought me to where I am now. It just kept getting worse, and worse and one day when it got worse when I didn't even think it could, I snapped and decided on CTB.

Hypothetically, if I chose not to CTB, I'd have to accept that my quality of life would be nothing like how I was expecting it to be. A big part of me wants to CTB because if I kept living like this yet still had to work, I would be essentially paying but not being able to play. What sense does that make?? I hate society, I don't want to just barely scrap by and wageslave for something that despises me and I it! So, death is the only way that I can "break even" so to speak. It's the only way that I can be fair to myself.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

A big part of me wants to CTB because if I kept living like this yet still had to work, I would be essentially paying but not being able to play. What sense does that make??

You're hitting the nail on the head. I can relate to this so much and I'm sure many others can as well. It's not that I want good things to just come to me and don't want to work hard to get them. It's that I work hard to survive and no good things come out of this survival, no positive experience, nothing to motivate me to work hard except for basic physical needs and fear of homelessness. That's why it sucks so much.
I hope things can somehow get better for you. This is so unfair.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Hypothetically, if I chose not to CTB, I'd have to accept that my quality of life would be nothing like how I was expecting it to be. A big part of me wants to CTB because if I kept living like this yet still had to work, I would be essentially paying but not being able to play. What sense does that make?? I hate society, I don't want to just barely scrap by and wageslave for something that despises me and I it! So, death is the only way that I can "break even" so to speak. It's the only way that I can be fair to myself.

You're hitting the nail on the head. I can relate to this so much and I'm sure many others can as well. It's not that I want good things to just come to me and don't want to work hard to get them. It's that I work hard to survive and no good things come out of this survival, no positive experience, nothing to motivate me to work hard except for basic physical needs and fear of homelessness. That's why it sucks so much.
I hope things can somehow get better for you. This is so unfair.

You've both hit it on the head. Life can feel like gambling sometimes; you put all of your chips in for a chance, not a guarantee, but a chance that you'll get something worthwhile out of it. It's the worst Pay2Win ever.

I'm not talking specifically about work ethic here either just things in general.

 

[catscradle]

I mean I don't want to work, but I think that's mostly cause I'm depressed.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I like working because it makes me feel useful, productive and less depressive.

 

[yannyorlaurel]

This definitely plays a large role for me, mental illness itself seems like a full time job. The lack of self identity I have as well makes it difficult for me to see a purpose in "climbing the ladder" of employment and I know no position would translate to actual happiness. If I could even manage to get disability, it'd be SSI and therefore incredibly measly. I'd rather just go back to eternal sleep

 

[bloomingdark]

Definitely a part of it. I feel like that comes across as "lazy" maybe but I feel such anxiety about it.

Why is this so true

 

[massiveblackhole]

Definitely one of my reasons too. Fuck work and fuck the fact that we're all expected to work until we drop dead

God I know right - work eat sleep repeat - its like the song by Lifehouse, Sick Cycle Carousel - an endless pointless mind-numbing existence. I feel all I do is work, do chores, sit in traffic - and for what? Just so after 50 years of working I can grow old and die? What is the point??

 

[sadghost]

God I know right - work eat sleep repeat - its like the song by Lifehouse, Sick Cycle Carousel - an endless pointless mind-numbing existence. I feel all I do is work, do chores, sit in traffic - and for what? Just so after 50 years of working I can grow old and die? What is the point??

Exactlyy ugh, it's all so meaningless. Like I didn't ask to be born & I especially didn't ask to be born into a life where I spend most of my existence as a wage slave. For what? So some rich fuck can profit off my labour and enjoy the finest luxuries in life while I work my ass off? Such BS.

 

[sadworld]

Not my main reason but still a good reason for me cause i feel like im too stupid to talk to other people like i can't express myself properly and everyone thinks im weird, that's why im alone most of the times. I really like the thought of skipping the next 40+ years of just working my life away and feeling uncomfortable

 

[Rue89]

It's not that I don't want to work, but my anxiety makes it so hard. I can't deal with it. My mom has let me get away with not having a job this year because she knows my anxiety got worse, but I know that her patience won't last. She has made a few comments about me looking for a job. I can't do it. Not being fit to work isn't my main reason, my anxiety is, but rather it's one more thing my anxiety stops me from doing, one more added reason.

 

[Silver]

Major reason for me to ctb. Haven't worked for years and I don't think I'm able to. Yet society judges our worth and status by our jobs and being unemployed leaves you open to being judged as being a 'scrounger'. Even if I got a job it would be low paid and stressful because I don't have any skills. I can't cope with daily life without a job, let alone with one. I can't face being forced to either have a job or look for a job for the next 40 years

 

[Vault of Memories]

I'd say with already having little to no will to live, working a job I have no interest in for 40+ hours a week certainly doesn't make my life anymore enjoyable.

There are some fields that if I ventured into them I think I'd have a job I'd like going to, but my outside of work life will still be the same.

Even if I were to win a million dollars or something I can't really see myself being much happier. Truthfully, the first thing I'd purchase would probably be some drugs so I could reach a temporary "artificial" feeling of happiness.

 

[Painless_end]

There isn't a single job in the world that I'm interested in. I think my brain is kind of incompletely developed and also messed up.

If it wasn't for my survival instinct and fear of pain I would be long dead.

 

[TheLastDoor]

I think it's very common for people here to have serious problems in their professional lifes. I used to have this job that I honestly didn't like very much, but saw it as a great opportunity to get the professional experience I needed.

I actually perfomed at least moderately well according to my boss. However, just like everywhere else, I had problems fitting in because I have no social skills at all and because of my lifelong struggle with mental illness. Long story short, I ended up getting fired due to an incident with a coworker that could've been avoided if weren't such a misfit and had better social awareness/skills.

 

[LastFlowers]

No, but my reasons for CTB do keep me from working. And if I was forced to go into the workforce like this or even out in general, it would expedite my suicide. I am not a lazy person by any means and sitting in my room in a catatonic, tortuous, tear filled daze 24/7 is not akin to someone staying home from work and relaxing or even someone who can still manage to make use of their time or enjoy things. It is HELL. I am fatigued from just existing yet I cannot sleep.
If I didn't have my reasons for CTB then I have no doubt I would be working myself to the bone for things I was passionate about, I still have that bug to do things but I have no willpower or energy, it's not possible. Though I do think when people are stuck in a dead end job that sucks their life force away, then that's when problems arise whether there were any to begin with or not.

 

[vacant_n]

It's not that I don't want to work, it's that the entire concept of work is fucked. I've held down a stable 9-5 job for the past few years and I feel like accepting that position was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. Sure, I have enough money to get by (not that it's even much), but almost all of my hobbies fell by the wayside, I can feel myself getting dumber by the day, and it probably poisoned my relationship with my ex. When COVID hit and I started working from home it was like a fog lifted and I realized I'd been a zombie for the past several years.

The amount of work I actually need to complete each week could be done in two days, three at most, and the rest of the time I'm just sitting around in some kind of performance of the act of work. I think the same is probably true for a lot of people. Except, weirdly enough, minimum-wage workers, who have some of the most demanding jobs with the fewest protections in place. There needs to be a redistribution of labor and wealth so that we start valuing those jobs appropriately and factoring in leisure time and mental health. I think the problem is especially bad in the US, but it's present to some extent everywhere that capitalism exists.

 

[Mr.Nobody]

Wageslaving especially in a country like mine sucks.I don't think I would make it.

 

[Xocoyotziin]

Like someone else said, workplace power dynamics are terrifying. I could probably work with people I already know and choose to work with but not any other way. The whole system is very unnatural to me. I can't accept it as normal.

 

[ThrownAwayTom]

It's definitely a factor. Especially with prospects getting worse and worse, there's virtually no chance of any retirement by the time I reach that age, so I'll be working til the day I die if I don't CTB. Shit chances are I'll die at work.

What's it all for? To line someone else's pockets? Just a life spent.. working...

 

[CrazyMary]

It´s amental struggle. I do feel useful when I do something. Therapist said I might have sabotaged my projects. I would never see myself as an employee as I have problems with authority, I agree that capitalism is a useless concept that just wants slave.

 

[EssenceFocus]

This is a big problem, that I have since years. I am 24 now and I feel like I could go to pension already

There is no job, no study. which would be interesting to me. Working in a hospital has at least a purpose (x-raying and CT), but it's sooo exhausting(night shifts, weekends, physical strain...).
But I can't imagine having to work for a boss, so that he can buy his new fat car. I would feel like an office slave. Sitting 9 to 5 on the chair and sometimes having competition with your coworkers for promotion...

Of course, there are so many other jobs out there, where people build good looking things with their hands, houses or machines. But I just can't see myself there.
There is no subject I could study now. Either there aren't enough jobs, it's too much mathematics or it would take way to long. I mean, I wouldn't say that I am dumb, but I have no motivation to start studying complicated subjects. The tasks I would do in a typical job after these, would be boring, too.


I am in a hamster wheel.
In some months I will stop working full-time and continue with a 80% part-time. Money will be sufficient for my low needs, but I have more time for myself. Working full-time won't be the standart in the future anyway, you can see the slow change to part-time, home-office and so on.
This move, will take away a bit of my tension.

But the problem continues. I searched EVERY possible direction for a more interesting or full-filling job, but there isn't any.

I would love to turn my huge interest for the human consciousness into something, where I could earn a bit money with to fullfill my basic needs.
I know it sounds silly, but my interest and love with this is unlimited. I could occupy myself with this topic and talk about it with other people till eternity.
if this would based on Christian beliefs, I would probably be a priest


And this is a big problem now. Nothing comes close to this interest and it influences everything, even my attitude to some investigations at work.


It's so difficult to find the right working place. Everyone of my family has big problems in that regard, too(since years).
But I am looking forward to cut my hours a bit, even if some of my colleagues will think different of me(You are man! Men work full time, bla bla bla). That's antiquated thinking.

 

[Mr2005]

Never knew what I wanted to do so used my problems as an excuse to do nothing. Now I want to ctb. I've absolutely disgraced myself. Any potential I had has been squandered

 

[_Kaira_]

I never had a job either. Most days I feel like the most useless person ever. I feel constant guilt needing others to pay for my expenses like I'm some child. They certainly are very vocal about being tired of it as well. I don't blame them, they shouldn't have too. I fear working, and I absolutely am not cut out to handle the stress. I am prone to panic attacks, and I'd be starting with minimum wage retail/fast food. I have no other options going for me. I wish I wasn't so terrified of everything, and I wish I knew how to care more. Feels like just existing is a job in itself.
"We all have to do it." just lol.

 

[Frew]

Damn, I thought it was just me. I've failed at pretty much every job I've ever had. Ive been treated like I'm a freak, incompetent, constantly criticised. It makes me feel like I've no worth at all. At the same time, if the job is fulfilling and interesting, and I feel appreciated I do enjoy working. Plus it gives me more routine, which I struggle to create myself. I just wish a 20-25 hour week was the norm.

 

[TheQ22]

What a GREAT question - if you had the choice, stay at home, be happy, never have to work - would you even WANT a job?

Probably not, I know someone who doesn't, and has never worked in her life (now almost 500 and she's the happiest person I know.

What a tw*t.