Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
Not my main reason, but it's a small reason of why I want to ctb. I've never actually had a job, but feel like I wouldn't be cut out to work. Between my mental illnesses, not being able to articulate myself verbally sometimes, bad short term memory and not being able to process what others are saying sometimes, I'd probably fuck up a lot. I'm definitely not cut out for life
 
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glittergore

glittergore

the sea, the sea
Jun 16, 2020
119
It's less that I don't want to work and more that I can't. It's been proven to me time and time again, and is currently being proven to me now, that I'm completely unable to hold down a job. Right now I'm in the position that I either am fortunate enough to get disability or I CTB. I see no other options for myself.
 
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sadghost

sadghost

S
May 17, 2020
232
Definitely one of my reasons too. Fuck work and fuck the fact that we're all expected to work until we drop dead
 
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IsThisTheEnd?

IsThisTheEnd?

Mange
Aug 6, 2020
575
I'd love to work and I've worked hard but it never works out even when I've gone out of my way to help others, so this has just proved to me that I'm unlikable and there is no point working and ctb will be the outcome in the end.
 
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Superdeterminist

Superdeterminist

Enlightened
Apr 5, 2020
1,877
Yes, for me it's a big factor. I find even securing a menial job very difficult. I have struggled hugely with employment and I think I'll continue to for the rest of my time here. I resent that we must compete with others for a job position, selling our skills with faking and exaggeration, and the rat race nature of it all. I fear workplace bullying and the power dynamics which run in many if not most jobs. Just the fact that "work or die" is a real truth in the world is enough to make me feel like quitting. And I honestly can't be bothered to try different jobs until I find one that I'm satisfied with, something which isn't at all guaranteed.
 
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BPD Barbie

BPD Barbie

Visionary
Dec 1, 2019
2,361
It's not one of my reasons but not being able to work is a factor, yeah. I want to work, I just can't.
 
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R

rt1989526

Paragon
Aug 2, 2020
935
Not a top reason but it's not something I'll miss. I did have lots of problems fitting in in the workplace cause of borderline personality disorder and anxiety.
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,687
Yes, because I've lost my motivation to live especially if I cannot fulfill my dreams and fantasies. While it is not my main reason nor currently one (atm), I just simply cannot accept the grind and slave away for decades more knowing that I will never fulfill my most important dreams.

In 2019, when I did work, what kept me going was my successful visit with my ladyfriend and then later the loss of my virginity. I see working as a necessity and prerequisite for fulfilling my goals (money) but if no matter what I do, it's always out of reach, then not only do I have little or no motivation to wageslave to do things, it is futile to continue to wageslave to exist for many more decades to come. I'd rather just skip to the end (death).
 
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Amumu

Amumu

Ctb - temporary solution for a permanent problem
Aug 29, 2020
2,624
I guess that having an activity (studying, internship) is rather something positive for me.
It is not always the case, but doing nothing leads me to my darkest thoughts even more.
I have experienced it since coronavirus
 
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AwokenToReality

AwokenToReality

Just wanna close my eyes, and feel alright
May 27, 2020
90
Not my main reason, but definitely one. I have few qualifications, so not many good paths I'm able to take, unless I go back to college or something, but that would take far too long. I've worked in retail, hated it. Worked in warehousing, hated it. Had thoughts of suicide all throughout the warehousing job as my mental health got worse and would probably be long gone if I wasn't suspended from that position. Can't find a job I like with the limited qualifications I have and social anxiety doesn't help at all when actually working. I don't really see myself ever being able to enjoy working any of the positions I'm able to.
 
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softfuzzyman

softfuzzyman

Rot
Aug 17, 2020
77
Definitely a part of it. I feel like that comes across as "lazy" maybe but I feel such anxiety about it.
 
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Huntfish34

Huntfish34

Enlightened
Mar 13, 2020
1,622
Not a Main reason I can honestly say But , My mind is Soo fucked off with this idea.. Bare with me.. After I quit my last one ( 2012 .. Had for 7 yrs ) I was looking around about 1 year til I got a temp service job. During this time I got fairly suicidal and angry for the thought of worthlessness , self pity/ mind game, and Just flat out Fuckery of sitting around and not doing anything..

Well, that temp job worked out and I got hired full time. ( Also where I'm at now with 7yrs currently ). And boy howdy Lemme Tell ya,. The rat race is Real; Egos, mindsets/ agenda's? , cruelty, bullying .. is Alive and well And. I Fckn Hate it. ! MotherFckn rat race..

I often Try and be Greatful I have a job... Change my perspective , drop resentment , Let Go and Let God.. Pray about shit.. and I keep stumblingly walk forward with my head up. ( Kinda). Fck I'm sick,. Idk what I'm doing anymore Trying to live ? This is no Life. Fml.
 
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A

alexit

Mage
Jun 3, 2020
509
Not my main reason, but it's a small reason of why I want to ctb. I've never actually had a job, but feel like I wouldn't be cut out to work. Between my mental illnesses, not being able to articulate myself verbally sometimes, bad short term memory and not being able to process what others are saying sometimes, I'd probably fuck up a lot. I'm definitely not cut out for life
1,000 times yes.
 
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C

CharlieBrown

Member
Aug 22, 2020
21
Not my main reason, but it's a small reason of why I want to ctb. I've never actually had a job, but feel like I wouldn't be cut out to work. Between my mental illnesses, not being able to articulate myself verbally sometimes, bad short term memory and not being able to process what others are saying sometimes, I'd probably fuck up a lot. I'm definitely not cut out for life

It's a bigger reason for me for the same reasons you mentioned. I had a nervous breakdown in college and dropped out. I would have never been employed, but my father got me a job where he was a supervisor. I developed a false sense of security because I was extremely coddled and for the first time in my life people were nice to me (now I know it was only because my father was the boss). I worked for 10 years. My father was fired and life was back to reality. I had another nervous breakdown, hospitalization, and was on sick leave for almost 3 years. I tried applying for a few different jobs during that time and the process led me to the conclusion that I wasn't even remotely cut out for it—mental illness, no social skills, memory and cognitive loss from ECT. I was in a worse position than I was when I dropped out of college. I wouldn't last one day in the real world. I didn't want to work, but I felt extremely embarrassed for not having a job. A position with very little responsibility opened up at my original place of employment just before the 3 year mark of being out of work (at which point I wouldn't have been able to return), and I went back because at least it was a place I was familiar with and some of my father's friends were still there to look out for me. I've almost quit several times and I dread going there every day. My position will be phased out soon and it will give me short term relief but I know I'll never work again. I'll have the same feelings of embarrassment for being perceived as a lazy bum, and I'd rather be dead than work somewhere else.

I feel like your job defines your life. I HATE IT. Everyone wants to know "What do you do?" Your sister has a first date with some guy, the whole family wants to know "What does he do?" I don't want to "do" anything but drop dead.
 
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EmbraceOfTheVoid

EmbraceOfTheVoid

Part Time NEET - Full Time Suicidal
Mar 29, 2020
689
I'm incapable of working because of my trauma symptoms but even without them I don't see the appeal in it. I hate being alive as it is so why should I have to spend what time I have left working meaningless and mundane jobs that don't even pay a living wage for a life I never wanted in the first place? Working only made me feel far worse but I guess for some people it gives them a stable sense of identity and worth; I however could not give two fucks and knowing that I'd have to spend my life working is simply another reason to commit suicide.

"Living happily" itself is a myth. Nobody on this floating rock is consistently "happy" every single day unless there is something seriously neurologically wrong with them that makes them that way. Life itself is inherently suffering - this isn't some edgy edict, it's the fundamental nature of the human condition; we are animals, and moreso social animals, which, not unlike elephants, zebras, dolphins, cows, or donkeys, are biologically wired and adapted to chasing short-term fulfillment, and avoiding pain and suffering - to the degree we experience and remember negative feelings and experiences far, far deeper and longer than we do positive experiences. This is the telltale sign of our inescapable animal nature - the hardwiring that makes suffering so inherently unavoidable, and pleasure seemingly so elusive.

Boiling the phenomena of NEETdom down to "mental health" is a reductionistic fairy tale that completely ignores the context of modern life in favor of hyperindividualizing the consequences of that context down to the individual and leaving it there. Speaking of context - the factors you mention are not as much of an immunological force as you imagine. Our society is one rife with celebrity suicides, who so many see as the "winners" of our silly game - they have money, prestige, recognition, fulfillment, endless fancy toys and achievements - and yet still cannot escape the call to the void - which, if anything, speaks to the fact we spend our lives chasing things that really do not make our lives all that worthwhile in the end. Sure, it's nice to be clock in to your 9-5 every day and pat yourself on the back and tell yourself you're doing the right thing like everyone else, but this is the life of an obedient somnambulant - one we are conditioned for in this society. You know the script - go to school, work until you're old, save and scrimp the whole way through, retire, and go rot in an old folks home using the money you've hoarded your whole life. This might be a fulfilling life for an inanimate machine part that cannot feel and is not alive, but for a social animal that needs environmental enrichment and belonging and meaning to feel any kind of consistent fulfilment, it is a slow death.

This isn't to say NEETdom is some grand alternative - it is the final consequence of this meaningless life program - narcissized depression and almost total alienation, whereby one practically declares themselves dead to the outside world and escapes deeper and deeper inside themselves as a solace, until the crushing emptiness of isolation and loneliness destroys their ability to experience pleasure and often their will to live. This is typically because of the self-isolating shame that attaches itself to the status. As social animals, we need people in our lives to feel any degree of worthwhile. Interpersonal interaction injects our lives with a kind of meaning and fulfilment that all the technology, distractions and drugs cannot. Unemployment and NEETdom would not nearly be as bad if not for the immense social stigma, and if we could all expect to live in communities we felt a part of, or at the very least had friends who cared about us outside of our job title. Unfortunately, this is not the nature of our hyperindividualized, materialistic, and vain society whereby one increasingly derives their (narcissized) sense of self-worth and status from their ability to consume and brag about said consumption. Instead, we live in a time where over half of the population reports always feeling lonely and having few if any friends, 1/6 of us are on psychotropic drugs, and the suicide rate hasn't been this high in 30 years.

All the same - this doesn't make "successful" people failures. But it also doesn't make NEETs "failures", at least in any individual sense. The failure is society itself - in providing an insane sociocultural script that makes people incredibly sick; if I could call NEETdom anything, anything at all, I'd call it the canary in the coal mine for a society that is providing an age old lifescript that is no longer worthwhile, rewarding, or even meaningful in any sense - nor does it even guarantee the barest physical necessities for participation anymore; recall that wages have been stagnant for 40 years and we have wealth inequality levels that mimic those found prior to the Great Depression, what becomes all the more clear is that modern life is the new Great Depression. This is a dreadfully sick post-meaning society where mass shootings, panoptic surveillance, suicide, opiate abuse, loneliness, and alienation have become as commonplace as psychotropic drugs and psych diagnoses; which, if anything, says nothing more than that the very concept of "mental illness" is a desperate attempt by the system to hold on to it's collapsing validity by pointing at dissidents and shouting "they have some inherent biological illness that makes them this way!" As such, the realm of modern day psychology/psychiatry has become no more than another long arm of the corporatocratic, neoliberal police state, which has a part in allowing modern-day quality of life to continue it's decades long slow bleed to the sociopathic class - the wealthy and powerful.

We must think of NEETdom, depression, and a wide scope of psychological maladies as meaningful signals our bodies are sending us about the ways we conduct our lives nowadays, not as noise that is to be ignored and medicated away."
-Stranger from the internet
 
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Joey

Joey

Enlightened
Jun 14, 2020
1,432
I'm incapable of working because of my trauma symptoms but even without them I don't see the appeal in it. I hate being alive as it is so why should I have to spend what time I have left working meaningless and mundane jobs that don't even pay a living wage for a life I never wanted in the first place? Working only made me feel far worse but I guess for some people it gives them a stable sense of identity and worth; I however could not give two fucks and knowing that I'd have to spend my life working is simply another reason to commit suicide.
Reading all of that really touched me :(
 
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thethatsitboy

thethatsitboy

Nós tudo vive pra morrer, mas luta pela vida
Jul 4, 2020
175
Same here, not my main reason and never had a job. But I would emphasize that I don't want to work not because of social-work relations, and yes cause I don't see reason in it.
Reason generally is the money, of course. But I don't see sense in working for money and then you can run your life.
 
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Dreamless Sleep

Dreamless Sleep

The eternal night before chaos...
Feb 1, 2020
190
It's a contribution to my current situation for sure.

I've invested 20 years into a career that has turned to shit... cut my pay to less than minimum wage, doesnt respect me or the knowledge/skills I have, and always demands more from me. Its depressing and I'm too old to start learning a new career path at this point - nor do I want to because who wants to live just to work?
 
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nerve

nerve

fat cringey shut-in
Jun 19, 2019
1,011
I probably don't have it in me to hold down a job for any amount of time. Too weird, too slow, too anxious, too inattentive. I make lots of mistakes, panic a lot, and have shitty social skills.

Im in the US and know that even if I was somehow able to get on disability because of my mental health issues, thats not the kind of life I want. I've gotten over the guilty of "taking other people's hard-earned money" and now it's just that I've seen what that life looks like, especially if you don't have family helping you out, and I'm not sure I'm interested.
 
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miguel6565

miguel6565

Arcanist
Apr 5, 2020
421
Not my top reason but definitely one of my them
 
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W

Worthless_nobody

Enlightened
Feb 14, 2019
1,384
Yep it's definitely a reason. I have always hated every job I get and I either can't handle them mentally or physically so I never stuck with anything (I have been unemployed about 3 years now). I have never had a passion for anything job related and I didn't get an education for a career so I was always stuck in dead end customer service type jobs which made me more suicidal. Having to work for the majority of my life doing something I don't want to do, somewhere I don't want to be around people I don't want to be around sounds just terrible and pointless. We live to work to die...
 
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TimeLawyer

TimeLawyer

Now scheduled for deletion. Goodbye all
Oct 10, 2019
70
It's not so much that I don't want to work, but I have been trying to find one ever since I was 16 (am in early 20s now) and every single job I try I am too slow or I make so many mistakes that I can't cope. I don't mean a few tiny mistakes. I mean things that are major, big ones. I even got fired from a weeding job because I was ten seconds too slow. It got so bad and happened so many times that I started to wonder if I had an intellectual disability I don't know about. I did well at school, but not so good at life. I have dreams and am very hardworking and very detail oriented but it seems that is not quite enough...
 
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L

Leshen

Member
Oct 31, 2018
97
Yes, I'm too mentally ill to handle 40+ years of wageslavery.
I don't care enough about being alive and I don't enjoy it at all, so working just to survive would be pointless.
 
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Blueman

Blueman

Student
Aug 13, 2020
171
This has got me thinking. I've had loads of jobs I'm 55 now ,the 3 main ones lasted 11 years 6 years and 9 years respectively, all lost due to company relocation.
Was offered an alternative job by the last company which I knew I should've taken but a mixture of boredom and people constantly telling me how great I was how I could do so much better and easily get another job etc lead me to take a payoff and do a bit of travelling.
Now I can't get a job as I've been out of work over a year, my skills are out dated my confidence rock bottom and loads applying for every vacancy.
I also look at any prospective jobs with dread as they won't be as stress free as the one I left, so I'm in a situation where I want to work to get back into a routine, to have money to afford things I used to enjoy but don't have the confidence to cope especially as all the office type stuff I've done is wfh now.
So I do feel sort of suicidal as I can't work but it's a mix of not wanting to work, regret at leaving work and accepting that I almost certainly can't get work anyway.
 
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builtwrong

builtwrong

permanent solution to a permanent problem
Aug 24, 2020
51
Couldn't agree more, working for what? Money to buy shit I don't want? Code another application that we don't need to make of bunch of suits rich? To survive in a world that's so miserable? I couldn't get by working 9 to 5, it's absolutely part of why I plan to ctb
 
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M

malcontent

Member
Aug 28, 2020
13
I'm not set on ctb-ing yet, but this is definitely one of the reasons for my troubles with life. If I wasn't chronically ill I'd be able to manage some menial job (would have been nice to have a fancy cerebral job, but okay, you take what you get), but chronic illness combined with mental illness (anxiety + depression) is... a challenge. To say the least.
 
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marcusuk63

marcusuk63

CTB
Mar 24, 2019
1,735
I could never understand people who actually want to work , working is just a means to an end and most people who win the lotto stop working immediately.
I`ve not had a job for over 20 years ! I have had and did enjoy them while i was doing them , i was a farmer for 15 years , then i worked my way up to be a location manager in charge of 16 stores , a warehouse and 300 staff being the second highest paid there with a company car (god knows how that happened as i only went for 2 days work cleaning the yard lol ) but always seemed to be skint , then i became a painter and decorator and then a handyman for a brewery . The funny thing is the better wage you have the less money you seem to have left . but to answer the question would i want to work 40 hours a week making someone else rich who 9 times out of 10 would treat you like their personal property , then no i dont want to work again .
 
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G

Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,017
Yes, work is a big factor. I barely have enough physical energy to function. Right now I'm financially helped, but if I ever had to support myself I would he homeless.

My current "job" is stay at home mom. I can really only do that because I can sit down a lot between chore, cooking, and kids needs. I don't think my kids once adults or my ex would really let me be is me become homeless due to poor health, but I get to be a burden to others forever.
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
Even if I wanted a job, I'm not sure I'd be able to keep it due to how often I get hospitalized :(
 
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GrumpyFrog

GrumpyFrog

Exhausted
Aug 23, 2020
1,913
Even if I wanted a job, I'm not sure I'd be able to keep it due to how often I get hospitalized :(
I'm so sorry. Sometimes capitalism is really unfair and this if one of the examples.
I empathize so much. The primary reason why I am on this site researching methods is that most places that are willing to employ me have the same "no sick leave for over 5 days" policy and I know that for me it's unrealistic, and that's a sad dead end when you can't work yet you've got to make your living somehow. I'm so sorry so many people seem to struggle with this too.
 
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