Does anyone else want to ctb because they are either under or overweight?

[Squiddy]

It's not my main reason for wanting to ctb, but it contributes. I hate myself for gaining 90 lbs over these past 2 years. Now I'm 90 lbs overweight and look disgusting. I mainly blame my shit eating habits. I really want to lose it, but I feel so tired and lazy most days that I don't want to do anything.

 

[timeisnigh]

If meds put that weight on, then meds can take that weight off. I knew someone who lost 23kg in a year & hasn't put any of it back on.

There's no wrong reason to die, but it's not like death is the only response to your weight.

 

[anxivoid]

Partly because of this, yes.

 

[TheQ22]

I don't think being overweight has played directly into wanting to ctb, but it's all kind of like a vicious circle isn't it?

I think I got to a point where I felt like crap generally and was overweight, and so didn't like going out, which made me feel even more isolated and crap, which made me drink more, which added to the weight, and made me isolate more, and etc.

So it's in the mix somewhere, but not a direct cause, but is caused by feeling like crap, which added to the problem (and the weight).

Interesting question.

 

[BPD Barbie]

It factors into it. I lost all self control and self respect and started putting whatever I wanted into my body. I gained 3 stone over around 6 - 8 months and just didn't care. I was already overweight now I'm the heaviest I've ever been and I feel disgusting. But food is a comfort when I have nothing else to get comfort from. It's a vicious circle, eat because I'm unhappy, unhappy because I eat.

 

[TheQ22]

It factors into it. I lost all self control and self respect and started putting whatever I wanted into my body. I gained 3 stone over around 6 - 8 months and just didn't care. I was already overweight now I'm the heaviest I've ever been and I feel disgusting. But food is a comfort when I have nothing else to get comfort from. It's a vicious circle, eat because I'm unhappy, unhappy because I eat.

That i think is a lot like alcohol abuse - drink because I'm unhappy, I'm now unhappy because I drink, so I drink to hide that unhappiness, ad nauseum.

 

[BetterInthanOut]

Yess, I'm 30kg overweight. Most of it gained through antidepressants that make me hungry. It certainly doesn't help in not wanting to ctb!!

 

[nerve]

It's not one of my big reasons, but it's a reason. I'm eager to exit this body.

I'm really tired of trying to change or accept my weight and I'm just as tired of feeling terrible about the way I look. Everywhere I turn there's some reminder of how awful I look and everything I'm missing out on because I cant get my shit together and just stop eating so much.

 

[TheQ22]

I have lost over a stone (about say 16 pounds) in last 2 months or so, and need to lose another 14 pounds. But still feel like crap anyway.

 

[overcomingfear]

Overheating is like digging a bigger hole for yourself. Don't do it control ur eating

 

[AwokenToReality]

Definitely a main reason for me, I'm very overweight, not 100% on exact weight as my scales max out, but larger than 22st at a small height. I had a very independent childhood, and never really learnt how to cook, what a healthy meal was, portion sizing, etc. I over ate unhealthy meals and continue to do so to this day, overeating too. I think it's became an addiction at this point and I can't really stop it. It also feeds into my financial situation another reason for my CTB due to getting takeout food a lot of the time.

I could fix this situation if I really tried, and I know I could. I started visiting the gym and doing calorie deficits early 2019 as a New Years resolution to try and sort my health out, and to be fair I lost 2st in the first 2 months, but I gave up shortly afterwards.

I just don't have the motivation to live in this life, so why bother with my health.

 

[overcomingfear]

Definitely a main reason for me, I'm very overweight, not 100% on exact weight as my scales max out, but larger than 22st at a small height. I had a very independent childhood, and never really learnt how to cook, what a healthy meal was, portion sizing, etc. I over ate unhealthy meals and continue to do so to this day, overeating too. I think it's became an addiction at this point and I can't really stop it. It also feeds into my financial situation another reason for my CTB due to getting takeout food a lot of the time.

I could fix this situation if I really tried, and I know I could. I started visiting the gym and doing calorie deficits early 2019 as a New Years resolution to try and sort my health out, and to be fair I lost 2st in the first 2 months, but I gave up shortly afterwards.

I just don't have the motivation to live in this life, so why bother with my health.

Take small steps, decrease intake little by little, replace junk with healthy foods. You've done it already, u know how it is to start. Sorry if this is stupid obvious advice i just think it's not worth to die over extra weight

 

[TheQ22]

Definitely a main reason for me, I'm very overweight, not 100% on exact weight as my scales max out, but larger than 22st at a small height. I had a very independent childhood, and never really learnt how to cook, what a healthy meal was, portion sizing, etc. I over ate unhealthy meals and continue to do so to this day, overeating too. I think it's became an addiction at this point and I can't really stop it. It also feeds into my financial situation another reason for my CTB due to getting takeout food a lot of the time.

I could fix this situation if I really tried, and I know I could. I started visiting the gym and doing calorie deficits early 2019 as a New Years resolution to try and sort my health out, and to be fair I lost 2st in the first 2 months, but I gave up shortly afterwards.

I just don't have the motivation to live in this life, so why bother with my health.

It's diet mate, exercising is pants - work for an hour to burn off a chocolate biscuit - just don't eat the biscuit. 1 hour saved.

I've felt at first like I'm starving myself, no breakfast, one meal a day (like literally a chicken breast and maybe some brocolli or a slice of bread), that I try to eat before 4pm, and that's it.

First 2 days you feel like you're torturing yourself.

After that your body is used to it and it's normal.

If you can't manage that then breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, dine like a pauper. In other words eat progressively less through the day so your body can digest and burn the food.

That's how our ancestors did it, even in the 60's and 70's and there were very few people who were more than thin.

Now we do it back to front - breakfast - no, lunch - snack, dinner - huge meal in front of tv shortly before bed.

Body can ony turn it to fat and store it.

 

[Ghost2211]

I appreciate that you added the underweight to the title. Not the primary reason, but poor health is up there. I've never been able to gain weight well. I'm 5'6 and 108. No matter how much I eat I don't really gain weight. My "fat" weight is 115. I tend to have very low bp and anemia as a result of not really storing extra food intake. I'm exhausted all the time, and if I were allowed to I would sleep about 18 hours a day.

 

[SipSop]

Underweight here.
I'm 25 and I keep thinking that other people jsut had better body structure by default. Like they didn't had to do anything to have it. Is all about looks, the character follows.
I used to have muscles but I gave up since somebody fucked with my heart.
It sucks to have a narrow body structure as a man. As a man when a argument doesnt go well there is a covert or a overt physical intimidation. You must expect things to go there at some point if you want to speak your mind.
And women look at you to be their friend, not as fuck buddy.
I think this would have solved me many problems if I had a better body structure. I have a good character but begins to rot because of the shame, fear and resentment of others.
If you have a good structure 70-80% of your problems in society are solved. You dont need a extraordinary character, but a average one will do.
Im lucky I have a decent looking face in a good day. But I dont know anymore. It feels like my mind plays with me as some days I feel good about myself, and some days I am too ashamed to go outside.

 

[Stolen Absolution]

I appreciate that you added the underweight to the title. Not the primary reason, but poor health is up there. I've never been able to gain weight well. I'm 5'6 and 108. No matter how much I eat I don't really gain weight. My "fat" weight is 115. I tend to have very low bp and anemia as a result of not really storing extra food intake. I'm exhausted all the time, and if I were allowed to I would sleep about 18 hours a day.

Not to alarm you, but we might be the same exact person. I'm also 5'6," 108 lbs, and unable to gain weight. Do you deal with bradycardia (low heart rate)? My resting BPM is high 50's, and dips to mid 40's during sleep.

To answer @Squiddy question, it doesn't play a huge role in my wanting to CTB. I'm sorry you're struggling right now.

 

[Nymph]

Have you tried switching to meds that suppress appetite like Venlafaxine and some others (I don't remember their names but I take Venlafaxine personally and it helped) I used to have problems with my weight even tho I was average and it helped me.

 

[madbananas]

It factors into it. I lost all self control and self respect and started putting whatever I wanted into my body. I gained 3 stone over around 6 - 8 months and just didn't care. I was already overweight now I'm the heaviest I've ever been and I feel disgusting. But food is a comfort when I have nothing else to get comfort from. It's a vicious circle, eat because I'm unhappy, unhappy because I eat.

This is also me! Hugs to you, OP, and everyone else who relates

 

[Deleted member 18655]

I've had an ED since I was about 11 or so. Overweight, underweight, average weight, etc. There's never been a time I haven't thought about food and my body. I've messed it up in some pretty bizarre ways!? My first ctb attempt was at 15 because I couldn't stop the bulimia. More than 30 years later , it's just a coping mechanism that I use. My body is affected by medications like Prednisone every month or so and I can't worry about gaining weight when I need to deal with the MS, it sucks.

My mind is driving me to ctb, not my body anymore.

 

[Ghost2211]

Not to alarm you, but we might be the same exact person. I'm also 5'6," 108 lbs, and unable to gain weight. Do you deal with bradycardia (low heart rate)? My resting BPM is high 50's, and dips to mid 40's during sleep.

wow, your system runs slow. For me breathing is not great, so heart goes fast to deal with shallow breathing. I will be at like 80 resting but can hit 120 or higher from minimal activity. Crazy what our bodies can handle isn't it?

 

[Worthless_nobody]

Dissatisfaction with my weight has been a lifelong reason for ctb. I had been underweight my whole life and was made fun of as a child and then in jobs for being "too thin" then a couple years ago I got dangerously underweight and I hated myself so much because people told me I looked like a child I was so small +I'm a grown woman so it hurts)..so I went on a quest to gain weight...well...

I ended up gaining too much weight and I eat for comfort because it's about all I enjoy. I am my heaviest I have ever been in my entire life. I think my meds definitely play a role and make me hungry all the time. I rather this weight than 85lbs though.

 

[Wayfaerer]

I wouldn't think it would be worth it as those problems can be completely fixed. Sure, it may be more difficult for others but not impossible. If one has a food addiction than it is no different than a drug one fundamentally and it should be treated in kind.

 

[Ghost2211]

I wouldn't think it would be worth it as those problems can be completely fixed. Sure, it may be more difficult for others but not impossible. If one has a food addiction than it is no different than a drug one fundamentally and it should be treated in kind.

There are unfortunately medical and psychological factors that can make losing or gaining weight nearly impossible. Part of what pushes people over the edge is society treating them like they are simply not trying hard enough.

 

[AwokenToReality]

Take small steps, decrease intake little by little, replace junk with healthy foods. You've done it already, u know how it is to start. Sorry if this is stupid obvious advice i just think it's not worth to die over extra weight

Yeah, I know how to start it out again and such, not an issue. It's more just the fact I have no motivation to do so with everything else going on in life. I especially agree I don't think it's worth dying over, for anyone whose sole reason to CTB is this. I did say it's a main reason, but there's many other main factors that have contributed to my choice in deciding to CTB that aren't as fixable as this.

 

[charlottewilts]

i'm a normal weight with no muscle tone so i look skinnyfat. it does contribute to my suicidality quite a bit, i'd say. losing weight is easy but putting on muscle not really

 

[Deleted member 1768]

It's not one of my big reasons, but it's a reason. I'm eager to exit this body.

I'm really tired of trying to change or accept my weight and I'm just as tired of feeling terrible about the way I look. Everywhere I turn there's some reminder of how awful I look and everything I'm missing out on because I cant get my shit together and just stop eating so much.

Try eating something different instead. If you eat the right foods it will not matter if you nibble all day, you will still lose weight.

 

[timeisnigh]

A

Your post

Again, as the short autistic guy that got blown up in Iraq after growing up hungry, your words don't fall on deaf ears: lift more. You'll never be skinny, just SHREDDED. ask how i know

 

[shy]

I'm probably not the only one that feels like this, but as someone who has been overweight in the past, I can't get rid of the body image I had of myself. Doesn't matter how much weight I lose or how much I work out, it'll always be the chubby-cheek middle school kid looking back at me from inside the mirror.

 

[timeisnigh]

Well your mind aside, I'll be 168cm no matter what

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I'm overweight again... I used to be obese and I'm terrified of getting so big once again. God damn binge eating! Why can't I just have discipline? I feel like a stupid, fat, disgusting bitch. I look in the mirror and I see the body of the old 200lb me. It's so gross. I think I've gained 4 pounds in the past week or two....

I will admit for me being overweight is better in the sense that guys don't hit on me. As nice as it was to be borderline underweight earlier this year, I was uncomfortable bc I seemed to get hit on a bit more. That stuff terrifies me.