Sinai Silence

Sinai Silence

I think I'ma die alone inside my room
Jul 6, 2020
810
I always look back on my past mistakes and wonder where did it go so wrong? I must have been someone really shitty to deserve this life. I've been treated like shit and that has affected how I treated people around me. I must deserve it but damn. Karma is a b*tch.
 
Icarus

Icarus

Member
Jul 25, 2019
76
100%. I clearly see the mistakes, how much I changed for worse and how many people I hurt. This shit sucks.
 
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D

draw a circle

out.
Apr 10, 2020
300
I literally just thought about this. Hell yeah I'm going through a heartbreak and I was usually the one breaking hearts (oops) and I was like, damn, this is what I get for avoiding relationships because I can't love people romantically and was seen as playing with them. Now I got wrecked by my own best friend. This isn't the main problem in my life but I still think it's karma lol. It's not even a big deal but with everything else in my life it becomes the last straw for me. Also, with whatever is going on with myself, I feel like I will die a painful death one day....
 
L

Living_Hurts_so_Much

Experienced
Jul 30, 2020
262
I feel like life gave me so much but on the wrong path. Somewhere in my youth, I should have turned left instead of right. I took a path I feel was never meant for me and paid by living an artificial life, a lie
 
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Mgl91

Mgl91

Nothing is real
Feb 16, 2020
193
Maybe we're in hell or some kind of a twisted simulation, but I don't really think that's true. As humans we have the need for justice, we want to believe that there's something more to our existence than... this. So we come up with those crazy ideas about karma, reincarnation or hell, but it's probably just all in our heads.

I often have a feeling that I was someone else before, but now I'm this thing that isn't really me, this world doesn't seem real, existence is like a bad dream I can't wake up from... but that's probably just dissociation, right?

Oh, a fellow PoE player! xD
Poe hahaha necromancer lvl 90 xD
 
make_00

make_00

404
Jul 3, 2020
58
I was abused emotionally and physically age 5-12. it's such an abused kid in school trope but my coping mechanism was being the 'strong one' outside of my home where I COULD win-- so I was quite the bully. I feel this is all for the bad influences I was around and my bad choices. pain for pain? I was drugged as a child and that exacerbated mental illness very young, so I guess that is also a starting point.
 
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Linda

Linda

Member
Jul 30, 2020
1,686
I doubt that you are any worse than the rest of us. We all make bad choices sometimes.
 
K

KiraLittleOwl

Lost in transition
Jan 25, 2019
1,083
No I don't believe that. Certainly I have done quite egoistic things but I don't think I have intentionally harmed anyone.
I don't deserve what I am going through.
At least I think so.
Karma doesn't exist, fair world doesn't exist, it's just random luck or determinism or whatever.
 
E

esse_est_percipi

Enlightened
Jul 14, 2020
1,747
Karma doesn't exist, fair world doesn't exist, it's just random luck or determinism or whatever.
This may be the case, but you cannot know for sure.
You cannot know that you did not experience a previous life or lives, and that they connected to your life now in a causally meaningful way....
 
SoIntoYou

SoIntoYou

Pillowman
Jul 9, 2020
214
Sometimes I think that the things that happened to me these last years is karma and I am paying for the things that I did wrong some time or the kind of person that I was as a teenager. Sometimes when I cry I apologize for the things or people that I could hurt. I get to think that sometimes I even deserve to feel miserable and that everything is a punishment.
If karma were real and everybody paid for their mistakes the way you are, a lot of evil people would be suffering - and they aren't.
 
E

esse_est_percipi

Enlightened
Jul 14, 2020
1,747
If karma were real and everybody paid for their mistakes the way you are, a lot of evil people would be suffering - and they aren't.
But the effects of karma carry through into reincarnation. So someone might do bad things in one life but only pay for them in another life. No evidence for this, I know, but that's the theory.
 
BLACK HOLE

BLACK HOLE

Member
Jul 22, 2020
9
Sometimes I think that the things that happened to me these last years is karma and I am paying for the things that I did wrong some time or the kind of person that I was as a teenager. Sometimes when I cry I apologize for the things or people that I could hurt. I get to think that sometimes I even deserve to feel miserable and that everything is a punishment.
Oh yes, so many times I think what you said... But in other moments I have opposite feelings... I mean, there are some really bad people in this world, who live happy and without significant problems... People who have done really bad things, but it seems Karma doesn't exist for them. Personally I did some bad things in my life, nothing tragic, all common mistakes that most people do. But the hell i'm living now in it's justified only partially. Maybe I'm not perfect, but I'm not a bad person.. Many times I've cried for other people, and many times i've helped them in bad moments. But now, it seems I'm paying all the single mistakes I've done in my life... Maybe it's just the random life we live, maybe karma even exist, maybe are just coincidences, or maybe some of us are just designed to suffer in the life, no matter what they do, I don't know...
 
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G

GoneGoneGone

Enlightened
Apr 1, 2020
1,141
At many points in time I got quite convinced that I had been cursed (it's a fairly nasty practice in my home country). But at the same time I didn't really believe in it
 
A

alexit

Mage
Jun 3, 2020
509
But do you believe you are being punished for bad things you did in this life, or in past lives that you cannot remember?
I tend to think that I am somehow being punished for bad things I did in past lives that I cannot remember, though I have no evidence for this and in some ways it seems illogical if I'm not the same person and don't remember.

Yes, I think the same sometimes. Like, maybe I did really bad things in a past life and my suffering is some sort of cosmic justice.
yes, past lives, mostly. have made mistakes in this life but to answer your question, past lives
 
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Ksab

Ksab

Sorcerer
Dec 4, 2019
74
Yes i think, I'm paying for my past mistakes (or past live's mistakes) by having a catastrophic luck resulting in one unfortunate event after another.
 
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Deleted member 94

Deleted member 94

Wizard
Mar 24, 2018
696
But karma supposedly works across many lifetimes. Someone could do bad things, but only experience the effects of karmic punishment after reincarnation, not during the lifetime where they did the bad things.
I'm not saying I believe it or that it's logical (If you can't remember who you were or what you did in a previous life, then what sense is there in being punished?), just that the karmic effects of bad or good acts come after death and rebirth. Unless I am wrong and have misunderstood it.
I don't know if this is true or not I come from Indian Hindu family, the Hindus coined up karma as way to explain stuff when bad shit happens to good people or nice shit happens to bold people. According to my deceased mum's guru you do bold things you go to hell before reincarnation same for good deeds you go to heaven before reincarnation. What this essentially means is that everytime you are born you have a clean slate. It's up to you to keep it that way. Also while trying to break free from the cycle of reincarnation by aiming for Moksh which is translated as liberation.
 
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Bauhaus

Bauhaus

Specialist
Jan 18, 2020
388
Definitely. I sometimes think I'm punished for things I said or did or things I should have said or should have done.
And I always believed strongly in fate, as a child I couldn't imagine to be an adult, have to work and have a relationship and then slowly deteriorate until you die.
 
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FatalSystemError591

FatalSystemError591

{He/They}
Oct 12, 2020
229
Yes, absolutely and 100%. I feel like I'm kept alive as a cruel, sick joke by whatever powers that be as their little voodoo doll to just poke, prod, and mangle because of all the ways I've fucked up. Too many years of abuse and trauma have warped my mind so badly that at this point it must be karma or something.
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
Absolutely I'm being punished and whilst it was unforgivable other people get away with worse. Things just didn't go my way.
 
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W

Worthless_nobody

Enlightened
Feb 14, 2019
1,384
I feel like I'm being punished. I made so many mistakes. Mistakes I can't seem to recover from. They follow me..they haunt me. I want to go back in time and fix it all.
 
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specklenought

specklenought

Internet Cry Baby
Oct 2, 2020
44
I used to think I was being punished in some way, but I think that's just my brain trying to make sense of events that really have no meaning besides what I give it.